Saturday, January 31

25 Things

Rules: Once you've been tagged, write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

1. I hate being cold and I hate being tired. Therefore, waking up in the morning to a shower that won't warm up in the worst.

2. I love my job more than anything in the world. I teach the best group of kids anywhere.

3. I have always wanted to have four kids. The best order would be a boy, twin boy and girl, and a girl. Right now, however, I'll take what I can get.

4. I am completely obsessed with all things Australian and Hawaiian.

5. I hate needles in every shape, form, and size. Something about plunging a length of metal into your skin seems horribly wrong.

6. I am painfully shy among all but a small handful of people. It's something I've always tried to overcome, but haven't been able to. Unfortunately I think it gives some people the wrong impression about me.

7. When I was in Australia participating in the Outdoor Ed camps I was leaning against a wall only to find out later that I was leaning on a Funnel Web Spider nest. They have enough venom in them to kill a child.

8. I can't wait until I can have a dog of my own. I want to have some type of lab- either a yellow or a chocolate lab.

9. Although I love my job, I want nothing more than to be a stay-at-home mom for a few years once I have kids. The idea of teaching other people's kids while mine are being cared for by someone else seems a little crazy.

10. I'm just starting my grad school classes for my Reading and Language degree and I can't believe how much I miss school.

11. Growing up we went to New Hampshire every single year. Usually we camped in Lancaster for a week or so. Without fail we always went to Santa's Village. As a Father's Day gift a few years ago, my brothers and I brought my dad to Santa's Village one last time. We were the only group of all-over-20-year-olds there. But we had fun.

12. My goal is to some day run a marathon. I'll start off small first, but I love running around the pond at school. It's such a great way to clear my head after a crazy day with my kiddies.

13. I love to travel.

14. Growing up we didn't have cable. Johnny makes fun of me all the time because I often don't know kids shows he talks about. I, however, have fond memories of doing things other than watching tv when I was little-- I'm proud that tv didn't rule my life when I was younger.

15. Growing up my parents let me participate in a whole host of activities-- I took flute and organ lessons and I did After School options, Summer Program, girl scouts, dance, baseball, softball, gymnastics, swim team, swim lessons, synchronized swimming, soccer, art class, color-guard, and floor hockey. I never found anything that I was especially great at, but I had fun just the same.

16. I have always worked with kids. I started babysitting sophomore year in high school and have continued ever since. The only time I did something not kid-related was when I worked for Johnny's company the summer before we got married. I answered phones, filed paper work, and HATED IT.

17. Johnny and I were supposed to get married on a Friday night. We eventually decided on a Saturday because Johnny convinced me that, if we had it on the Friday- which happened to be a Sox-Yankees game- then all of the guys would be at the bar and not at the wedding.

18. When I was 4 or 5 I spilled a scalding hot plate of spaghetti on my arm. My arm was burned from my wrist to my elbow. I don't remember the pain or my mom taking care of it. I only remember being sad because I couldn't play catch outside with my dad and brother.

19. The only bone I have ever broken was my right middle finger. I did it before 1st period in 6th grade by somehow banging my hand on the side of my desk. I didn't want to tell anyone, so I spent the day with a broken finger that swelled progressively larger and larger. I finally showed it to my mom when I got home.

20. Throughout school I only went to the nurse 3 times. Once in kindergarten because I got a bloody nose, once in 4th grade because the teacher noticed I had a high fever, and once in 8th grade because I was so cold I was turning purple. For some reason I had some sort of fear associated with the nurse.

21. I have a birth mark on my left wrist. I swear that if you trace the perimeter of the mark it looks like a buffalo. I learned this during some lecture in college. And Johnny didn't realize until recently that I have this birthmark.

22. Johnny and I got engaged the day after I came back from Australia. He almost didn't propose because I made him mad when I was stranded in Pittsburg with Chris and my parents. The day after we had to spend the night (the morning of our flight) I called him and said "Woops, the flight was cancelled again! I won't be home today." He didn't find it funny... but I did and so did my mom and brother.

23. I hate driving in crowded places. Cities, parking lots- anywhere there are a lot of cars. I avoid driving around here- except to work- at all costs. And driving into Boston? Forget about it.

24. I don't know where I want my future house to be, but I know that I want a bay window with a window seat, an island, and a wrap-around porch.

25. When I'm hot my knees turn red and when I'm cold they turn purple.

I actually found it really hard to stop at 25! Maybe I'll have to do the 100 things that I've seen before... :)

Friday, January 30

I forgot to mention this the day of the retrieval. 

A little before I was due in the OR, I was laying in bed talking with the hubby when the nurse came up to me all awkwardly and quietly.  She says, "I have a really personal question for you."  Of course, I'm immediately thinking "WHAT could it be?"  I'm used to answering all sorts of questions of varying degrees of personal-ness, so what could be so awkward and personal that she has to be all shy around me?  She then shows me my chart where she had recorded my weight from that morning.  She points to it and whispers "Is this right?  Because it's a bit lower than your last recorded weight."  My immediate thought was "Lower, how is that possible?"  I had felt like I had been carrying a bowling ball around with me for the past week.  I was thrilled at the prospect of having lost a few pounds in the midst of all the IUI/IVF craziness of the past year.  

So, a couple of pounds lighter... how nice.

But what makes me laugh the most is how weirded out the nurse was about asking me.  Being a part of really personal stuff is the name of their game, isn't it?  So how can a little weight question be considered so personal?  Or perhaps, they realize how much personal privacy you give up going through IF treatments that they figure weight is one of the few things you have left to keep private?

A few thoughts

The PIO injections are getting much better.  I still almost hyperventilate before the injections (I'm lying there, waiting, and the hubby is drawing the syringe, changing the tip, taking his sweet time) and they hurt a little going in, but they're over and we're that much closer to the 9th.  Did I mention that, if (when) I get the + on the 9th (8th), I'm sentenced to 6-8 more WEEKS of PIO injections?  I know, I know, all for the greater good, but... well, you know.

Last night I received a call from a good friend.  She asked "Have you talked to 'x' or 'y' today?"  I hadn't, why, I asked.  "Because 'x's' dad passed away the day before."  I can't even imagine.  I'm only 24, my friend is only 24.  I've known her since I was 6-- and consequently have known her family since I was 6.  I was always pretty close to the family when we were younger-- my friend's parents bought china for my wedding and a vacuum cleaner for the shower.  So basically, I can't get it off my mind.  Like I said.... I can't even imagine.  But I guess, in some way, it helped to remind me that, as bad and bleak as things have seemed lately, they can always be worse.  And I need to count my lucky stars for what I have right now.  Which, to be honest, really is a lot.

Wednesday, January 28

Let's see...

Today ended up being a snow day!  Woohoo!  Which meant that I did not have to use a day to stay out today.  Awesome, awesome.

I did use the day to try to get ahead on school work.  I just started my grad classes... I have no idea how people with kids and jobs do this at the same time.  Hopefully I'll find out in October.  :)  So far they are both very interesting, but they look like a lot of work.  I feel like the 3 years I have been out of school may have been a tad too long.   I guess we'll see...

Other than that, I'm having pretty uncomfortable pain in my lower abdomen.  It's to be expected I have been told, so I am not worried.

I am going to try to upload the picture of our embies... I'm not quite sure how to do the scanning though.  I guess that's Johnny's job.

At totally random times (like doing dishes and watching tv) I keep having thoughts like "they put two babies in me yesterday".  It's very, very weird.  But very, very cool too.  The good thing about classes and working and math coaches and everything else?  No time to worry!  At least not yet.  :)

Tuesday, January 27

I'm Embryo-ed

I just had the transfer done.  We transferred 2 embryos.  Stats are...

8 celled, A grade fragmentation, fair symmetry
6 celled, B grade fragmentation, fair symmetry

All together, we started with 8 follicles which resulted in 6 eggs.  Of those 6, 3 fertilized naturally.  Of those 3, only the two continued to divide naturally.  Which leads me to the question... how on Earth do people ever get pregnant naturally?  These just seem like sucky odds.  :o)

Overall, I'm very hopeful.  But I just have to say... the worst part of this whole thing?  Worse than the retrieval and the GonalF and the PIO injections?  The WORST part was having such an incredibly painfully full bladder.  It was torture.  So painful.  I felt ridiculous complaining (and I did a lot) because I know actually having a baby will be a million times worse, but OH. MY. GOD.  

Other than that, things are looking good.  So now we start THE wait.  

Monday, January 26

Tomorrow It Is

I got the call-- transfer tomorrow afternoon (she said they are crazy-busy tomorrow!).  I'm a little nervous... of our 6 eggs, it seems we only have 2 embryos to transfer.  I don't know their stats right now... I'll update tomorrow!  :)

Woohoo!  Mini-vacation from school!

Sunday, January 25

My Hubby

All complaining aside--

My husband is the best ever.  He has been SO good about taking care of me.  I've still been in a bit of pain and he's been there every second to make sure I'm okay, make dinner, do dishes... everything.  He even went out for me today to get a heating pad for after the PIO injections.  (And that is my new best friend.)  Oh, and he gives awesome injections!  They don't hurt at all!!!  And he tolerates my whimpy-ness before the injections!

Therefore, he is the BEST!!!  

Sub Plans

I'm trying to get my lesson plans done for the transfer, but it is very frustrating.  

1st, I don't know if I need plans for Tues and Wed OR Thurs and Fri.  

2nd, my class has a very definite routine that's hard to convey on paper.

3rd, I have a very specific way of teaching certain lessons and I don't really trust anyone else to take them from me.  So, I'm left with a dilemma... do I list the activities and hope the sub does them okay, or do I make up new activities so that I can do the lessons when I get back?

4th, there really aren't that many worksheets I use in the class-- instead I use centers and discussions and stories, but I always worry these things won't take up the right amount of time and the sub will be left sitting there thinking "Now what?"

Overall, I really hate writing sub plans.  They're so stressful!!

Day Post Retrieval

The status update one day past retrieval is.... OUCH!

I'm still wicked crampy and my right injection site is very painful.  I don't think I massaged it enough or walked around enough afterwards.  I won't make that mistake today!

Saturday, January 24

Piece of Cake

The injection really wasn't that bad at all!!  Johnny did a great job.  It might be a little tender tomorrow, but I think I can do this.  :)

Now I'm anxiously awaiting the next call for an update!

I survived!

Just a quick update...

We went in at 9am and I got hooked up to the IV and met the doctors and signed some paperwork.  Then around 10am I was brought into the OR.  After they wrapped me up, I was out in seconds.  Then, as predicted I woke up back where I started.

In the end I ended up with 6 eggs.  I'm assuming/hoping this was good for an IUI converted to IVF.  I know there weren't as many as might have been for an IVF, but I'm still optimistic.  We only need one, right?

Now I'm resting... I'm a little uncomfy, but I'm okay.  My mother-in-law is bringing me dinner tonight and my mom is also coming up to show Johnny how to do the PIO injections.  They showed us at the clinic, but the nurse was kind of impatient with Johnny's questions.  But I did get to show off my butt.  :P  So, my mom's coming to be a little nicer in the teaching.  I'm still freaking out about those.  And, though I know it IS worth is, that will not stop me from being nervous.  

So, we're looking at a likely transfer on Tuesday, but who knows, all 6 might fertilize and cleave and be awesome.  See, I'm still optimistic.

Friday, January 23

PIO Freak Out...


So, I just read the calendar for the IVF cycle.  I know, I know... I got it on Wednesday, I should have read it Wednesday.  But I didn't.  To be fair, the nurse went over it the day we met with her!

Anyways, I just realized that I am starting the PIO injections tomorrow.  I really thought I had a few more days-- I thought I had until the transfer day.  Is it weird that that is what is scaring me the most???  

Oh jeeze... time for sleep.  

Anxiously waiting!

13 hours away from the retrieval and I find myself ridiculously nervous!  

I'm not sure what I'm nervous about... I think it's just that we got thrown into this so fast that I haven't felt like I've been about to let it all absorb.  Plus, I know how quickly things can change in IVF.  Things looked good yesterday (really good by "converted" standards) but who's to say that the eggs are there or that they will fertilize?  I know there is no way to know-- and I even mentioned to the nurse that my only questions are the uncertain ones-- the ones I can't know the answer to. 

But, despite what we've been through and how things have all turned out until now, I can't help but feel very optimistic.  We were given a 50% chance that this would work.   

Thursday, January 22

The date is set!

Here we are--

Tonight I take the Ovidrel at 10pm exactly.  (On the dot.  Not a second earlier.  Not a minute later... she was very specific on the phone!)  Then NOTHING tomorrow (woohoo!) and then we have to be at RSC on Saturday morning at 9am.  I AM nervous, but VERY excited too.  We have done all we can, so now I can just hope, pray, and wish!

Fingers Crossed!

Feeling a little round...

First, I'd like to point out that I'm not trying to be whiny and say that I hate needles and complain because it's not worth it. I know it totally is. I just HATE needles. Always have. Always will. But I know it's a means to an end, so I'm 110% on board with using them. That being said... I still just really hate them. And the bag of PIO injections look pretty daunting.

So, I'm not sure exactly, but I am pretty confident that I did NOT ovulate on my own. Today we went back and I had a ton of big follicles. On my right I had 3 or 4 between 17.5 and 19.5. On my left I had 5 or 6. And, man, am I feeling it! I feel so incredibly "full" right now it's ridiculous. As in, the pants that fit THIS WEEKEND, they way are too tight. Leaving me with pretty much nothing to wear. Which is fine because I have no problem wearing PJ's all the time... my school does though.

Additionally, it should be noted that my principal is being AWESOME about all this. I have to have an observation and we also have a math rep coming in to team-teach a lesson and plan and stuff. It looks like tranfer day will fall smack in the middle of one of those. She told me to keep her in the loop and that my IVF comes first and she will reschedule the other things if necessary. YES!!! So, things are falling in to place.

Let's just hope that my instinct about not having ovulated is right!

Wednesday, January 21

Not to complain...

... but, jeeze, I hate needles!


Let's see, let's see...

Met with Anania about the IVF.  I had to take Ganorelix to make sure I don't ovulate.  I also continue my GonalF injections for the next few days.  I have to order yet more pens.  Maybe this wasn't such a good idea... ?  We'll be ordering our last refill, so next cycle (if this one doesn't work) I'll have to get a whole new prescription under the pretense that we threw out the extra GonalF or accidentally froze it or something (which could have happened in the weather we've been having!).  So... yeah.

So, we got a boat load of needles today.  AHHH is all I can say.  

Blood and u/s tomorrow AM.  Then we'll know better if I DID ovulate on my own or if we caught it in time.  I am praying and hoping and wishing that we DID catch it.  


This is what we're potentially looking at... AH...



Something like that anyways. I'm freaking out a little that I will ovulate on my own before they get the "don't ovulate" meds into me. I want this to work and I want it to work badly! :)

Tuesday, January 20

Ha! When things happen, they happen fast!

HA!  HAHAHAHA!  Apparently I upped my dose into upper-ville.  I'm not sure what that means... but, with 6 potentially dominant follicles they are not willing to do a regular IUI.  It's done.  So, I was given 3 choices.

1. Cancel the IUI cycle and call next month.
2. "Coast" without meds for a few days hoping some follicles drop off.
3. Schedule an emergency IVF.  

Option 1 isn't their favorite.  I really think they want this to work too, so they want the cycle to NOT be a bust.  Maybe they're just sick of me.  :) 

Option 2 isn't optimal because odds are it won't work and then we will end up cancelling anyways.

Option 3 is the best choice and that's what we're doing!  HOLY COW.  So... tomorrow we have an emergency meeting with Anania to sign consent forms for IVF.  Then I start on my new meds and go from here.  


When things change, they change fast!

CD12 and other ramblings.

Ah... here we are... CD12. I'm still at school... I have a dentist appointment tonight at 5pm and it's considerably easier to get there from work then from home during rush hour. So, I'm here til then with nothing really to do. Sure, I could get ahead on work and all that fun stuff, but who wants to be practical?

So, this AM I went in for blood and ultrasound. Again I had a one-stick kind of morning. I also got my favorite u/s tech AND I got in and out 10 minutes early. All in all, a good day, right? So... progress. My lining is something crazy like 11 or 12mm. That's crazy for me. In a good way. On my unproductive, lazy, good-for-nothing left side I had two at 14.5mm, one at 13.5mm, one at 11.5mm, and then a bunch of tiny ones. Sorry left side. I guess you're not lazy and good-for-nothing. :) On my right I had one at 14.5mm and then maybe one or two at 11.5mm. Too many numbers for me to remember. And, yes, the typical tiny ones. So, I'm excited. Johnny was a little freaked out when I called him with the numbers. I haven't gotten my instructions yet which is a little weird. Usually they call around noon or one, so I'm a little nervous. Usually when they wait til after 3 it means they are specifically waiting so they can talk to me. (They know I can never answer before 3pm) So I'm very nervous they're going to tell me that they are cancelling the cycle due to over-production or something. So, I'm avoiding the phone like the plague.

School related-- I don't know if I mentioned this, but my school is slated to be closed. My district has 9 elementary schools and they have been rebuilt one-by-one for a few years. My school is the last on the list to be rebuilt. Since the numbers have been dwindling in this part of town, the numbers at my school have been going down as well. As a result, the school committee has decided that, when it rebuilts the school ahead of ours, they will make it much bigger. As a result, in 2011, all the students at our school will be redistricted. 2/3 will go to the new school and 1/3 will go to another relatively-new school in the district. And our land is going to be chopped up and sold for pond-front property.

As a result, the principal I have has decided to jump ship-- she made the announcement that this is her last year here and she will be moving on to other things. Probably with my posters in tow.

The hubby had his neck sliced open today. I haven't seen it yet, BUT he did tell me that-- get ready for this!-- the doctor said he took out about A POUND of cyst stuff. SO GROSS. Yegh. Hopefully the cysts will stop flaring up for him though!

Well, that's all I got.

Monday, January 19


So today is CD11.  Last night and tonight we did (are going to) inject with 112.5IU.  Then I go in tomorrow to check my progress.  I'm very anxious to see how this worked out.  All in all we did about 150IU more than they wanted me to.  (4 days at 112.5IU instead of 75IU)  Just call me a risk taker.

Today I had the day off because of the holiday and I took the chance to get ahead on all sorts of school stuff.  I was supposed to be waiting for the plumber because our baseboard in the bathroom is leaking, but our plumber is actually the plow-guy for the apartment complex as well... so he was busy.  I guess he's coming tomorrow.  Tomorrow Johnny has to go have a cyst removed on his neck.  Poor guy.  Too bad I'm an awful wife and I'm not going with him... instead I have blood and ultrasound at 6:45am, school, and then a dentist appointment at 5pm.  Ugh.  It's going to be an annoyingly long day.  

As is always the case with my IUI cycles, I am panicking a little about the timing of it all.  If I go in tomorrow and everything looks A-okay then the IUI will be Thursday AM which isn't a big deal.  If, however, I go in tomorrow and it's not quite ready but they have me come in again Wednesday and then trigger me Wednesday the IUI will be Friday.  Friday is a bit of sucky timing for 2 reasons.  1. Darcy is going to be out-- she and her hubby are going to Vegas for a long weekend.  And 2. My little brother is coming in to help in the classroom.   Usually when I have to leave for appointments Darcy just covers for me for a few hours.  She's really the only person I trust with the class.  However, with her not being there, I don't know who would cover.  I might end up having to call in.  I'll have to talk to my principal when I know better.   

Any other day, however would be splendid.  Either way, as always, I'll make it work.

Sunday, January 18

Cycle 8... yes it has been going on.

So, let's see... I've been reluctant to update about this cycle.  I had planned on keeping it a secret... maybe not telling anyone would be good luck?  Well, that still might be the case, but it's hard to keep everything to myself.  I like to talk too much.  :) So, let's see... here is our cycle thus far.

I had CD1 on Friday the 9th.  I went in on the 11th (CD3) for u/s and was cleared to start GonalF that night.  I was instructed to take it at 75IU for 4 nights (Sunday-Wednesday nights).  

I went back on CD7 (Thursday) and had no action going on.  Nothing.  I had 10 follicles under 10mm on my left and 15 under 10mm on my right.  The usual for me... I always have a ton, they just are really lazy.  And I had a terrible blood draw.  I waited that afternoon for the call (one thing I do love about RSC is that they call you the same day without fail... and that there is never a day that they are closed...).  

Anyways, I get the call in a voicemail (I was still at school) where my instructions were to take GonalF for 3 more days at 75IU and then come in on Sunday (today).  I was very upset when I heard this.  Last cycle when we started, the first dose did nothing in the first 4 days, so they immediately upped me.  This time, I did 75IU and it did nothing in the first 4 days BUT they kept me at the same level.  It was a little anti-climatic  So, I calmly called RSC back and asked my question...

Why after 4 days of nothing were they keeping me at the same dose?  Last cycle they had upped me to 75IU, but even then I didn't mature like I should have.  (Or, my follicles didn't...)  Instead, my body started ovulating on its own, so they triggered me a little early.  (I had been at only 15mm on Sunday and then after blood on the Monday they triggered me).  My big fear last cycle had been that the follicle wasn't quite matured enough... though I can't be sure that an immature follicle was the reason it didn't work, I can't sure that it wasn't either.  

Anyways, I left my huge rambling voicemail and then set out to do some more work at school and missed the call back.  So, I came back to a 3 minute voicemail... but the gist of it was that 1. they were keeping me at 75IU because I had a lot of little follicles and since I am so young and have so much time (she literally compared my "situation" that of a 40 year-olds and detailed why they were proceeding differently) they didn't want to risk being too aggressive.  She said that failure for a few more months wouldn't be a huge set back for me like it would be for a 40 year-old.  2. And she also said that last time I was 15mm one day before the trigger so, with normal growth I would have been at 17mm the day of the trigger which would have been almost the right size... and hopefully bigger after the trigger.

Ah, so, I get this voice mail and immediately start yelling at the phone.  (Mind you, no one was on the other end!)

1. If you have read earlier posts, you would know that I HATE the sayings "you are young" and "you have time".  I KNOW I'm young.  I KNOW I biologically have time.  But I wouldn't have started this whole thing 2 years ago if I wanted to have a kid in 5 YEARS.  I wanted one THEN.  And, as for saying I can afford failure for a few rounds because I am so young...  maybe medically I can afford it.  But right about now, I'm at my breaking point and I don't know how much more I can really stand before I become permanently messed up.  I'm on edge way more than I want to be.  Depending on the day, seeing a baby in a store can reduce me to tears.  And I have been known to throw the TV controller when another person on a TV show has become accidentally pregnant.  So, yes, in reference to YOU ARE SO YOUNG, she lost me.  

And 2.  Yes, maybe "typical" or "normal" follicles grow at 2mm a day.  I know that, you know that.  But then again, would I be at RSC if I had "normal" follicles????  If I had normal growing follicles I would be at home with my year old child contemplating how to squeeze in a nap and a shower.  Instead, I'm at your damn office trying to get pregnant.  So, no, I don't have normal follicles.  They do not grow like they are supposed to.  They are slow, they are lazy, and they have been known to give up completely.  There have been days I have gone in to have a 15mm follicle and the next time I've gone in they can't find one over 12mm.  So, don't tell me that your "normal" logic made it okay for me to be triggered because I don't buy it.

SO, as you can see I did not agree with the nurse's explanations.   So, don't yell at me... don't tell me it was stupid or dangerous or that I'm screwing myself over... but I decided to take matters into my own hand and for 2 nights (Thurs and Fri) Johnny and I decided to up my dose to 112.5IU.  Saturday night we went back to 75IU incase we were being too reckless.  

So, we went in today (CD10) hoping for huge results.  We were a little disappointed... so I'm relieved we did the 112.5IU on our own because we would have been hugely disappointed if we did not.  On my left today I still had 0 over 10mm.  On my right I had 1 at 12mm and 1 at 11mm.  The rest were still under 10mm.  So, even with upping it on our own we didn't get ridiculous results.  

Our new orders have been passed down and we are to continue at 75IU for 2 nights (Sunday and Monday) and return on Tuesday.  You can bet we will NOT be doing 75IU for these two nights.  I know the risks, but I am not playing it safe to inevitably have to turn to IVF.  It might come to that, but I'm taking matters *slightly* in to my own hands.  And I know I'm throwing myself into an annoying cycle of them thinking that 75IU is working just fine when it's not and thus risk them constantly prescribing too little, but, like I said, mentally I just couldn't deal with another cycle thinking "maybe the cycle was too small when they triggered".

So, just to clarify... I will NOT listen to you, no matter what you say, if part of your defense or reasoning involves the line "you're so young" and "you have time".  It's over.


And, the obligatory randomness...

Something I can across on a blog. (Statistically Screwed, to be exact :))

I found it interesting...

Chances of a couple in their early twenties having infertility? <5%
40% of couples get pregnant within 3 months.
60% of couples get pregnant within 6 months.
75% of couples get pregnant within 9 months.
85% of couples get pregnant within 1 year.

I have always been a bit of an oddball. :)

Caffeinated No More

In an effort to do yet another thing right while trying to get pregnant, over the past week I have given up caffeine 100%.  Now, I wasn't an overly caffeinated person... usually only 1 or maybe 2 caffeinated drinks a day.  It wasn't excessive, but I did need it to get through my day.  But, I know having too much caffeine isn't good when trying to get pregnant or while pregnant, so I decided to give it up.  At this point I'm pretty much willing to try anything in order for this to work.

So, I can't really remember the last time I had caffeine... I don't think I had any at all last week.   It was a long, headachey, tired week.  But, I survived (my poor students certainly got yelled at a whole lot more than usual!) and now I'm feeling good.  :)

Hey, let's see if this works.  :)

Tuesday, January 13

I'm Done

So, I have officially decided that I am quitting my job.  Yes.  Quitting.  Why?  Because I am getting The Best Job Ever.  I'm just that determined.  Yes... I will be going back to Australia.  I will be living in tropical paradise for 6 months.  I will make $100,000 for feeding sea turtles and swimming with fish.  I will post fabulous pictures on a new blog.  It will be perfect.

Now... I guess I should actually get the job... 


And if I don't get the job, I'd just like to say that I absolutely love the new online grading software that we're using at school.  So, even if-- on the very slim chance-- I don't get the reef job (why wouldn't I?)*, at least I have the perk of my online gradebooks to make it okay.

* Don't worry, I'm not that delusional.  It's not like I have my bags packed or anything...

Sunday, January 11

While clicking around on Lost and Found trying to avoid my work, I came across this quote and found it amusing and so very true...

"When you want children that's when everyone around you starts getting pregnant by accident. In my opinion, the best form of birth control is wanting to have a baby."

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Saturday, January 10

Productive for once!


I finally registered for grad classes!  It took a lot of digging online to find the information that I needed to register for the correct classes, but I did it.  Unfortunately, however, I sent a panicked email to my advisor before finding the info.  :(  And I almost had a heart attack when I realized how much this is all going to cost!  But I should be done with the whole degree in 1 year!  :)  Yay!  And that will mean a nice little bump in pay AND I won't have to worry about recertification craziness for 6 years-- 1 year for my first recert covered by grad school and then another 5 for the second round.  :)

My Year in Review...

So, I've been around these parts for 1 year.  Looking back, it's amazing how much has changed and how much I have learned.  

1 year later we have completed 7 cycles.   3 TI cycles with Clomid, 3 IUI cycles with Clomid, 1 IUI cycle with GonalF.  We managed 1 chemical, 1 miscarriage, and approximately 3.5 months off due to various reasons.   In that time I have driven to RSC approximately 50 times (maybe more because it's hard to remember the number of times I went for just u/s and other reasons), had 70 attempted blood draws (I like to count the times they poke me 4 times in one sitting), and 27 ultrasounds.  It's been a busy year!

Thursday, January 8


So, I've always been one to defend my principal for the past year and a half.  Pretty much everyone else has a problem with her... but I never really had a reason.  But today she did something beyond my comprehension... ha.  It's a little ridiculous, but it made me mad.

So, this AM I was in my room getting stuff ready when Madam Principal walks in.  She was holding something in her hand and I didn't pay much attention.  She then asks "Do you get Scholastic News?"  I responded that I get the younger version, Let's Find Out, but, yes, I do get it.  (I had the parents pay for some and I paid for the rest of it.)  She said that she had gotten things in the mail about the inauguration and she was trying to make a bulletin board about the inauguration/president and she wanted to know if I had anything to help contribute to it.  I mentioned that a few issues ago I had gotten a thing about Obama and that I'd look for it for her.  If she wanted it she could have it.  She said thanks and then walked away.

A few minutes later, I walked to the office to deliver the poster I had and took at look at what the principal had put together.  At that point she just had a poster of all the presidents.   I then checked my mail.  In my box was my newest issue of Let's Find Out... but it was unwrapped.  Usually the package comes shrink wrapped because it is packaged for my class specifically and is addressed to me.  I thought it was weird, but didn't think anything of it.  Then later, I'm in my room with Darcy (my aide) and I started looking through the package I had gotten to look at the posters and issues to see if there was anything else I could contribute to the bulletin board.  As I was looking, I noticed that my posters weren't there.  Now, there are typically 2 double-sided posters (so 4 in all)... 3 are "Big Page" copies of the 3 monthly issues and the other is a "Theme Poster".   So I looked at the packing list and it said that my theme poster was one of all the presidents.  So, I immediately went back to the hallway and looked at the posters in the hall and in the corner it says "Let's Find Out".  

She STOLE MY POSTER!  Not only that, but she opened my package without asking AND then played dumb and came and asked me "Do you get Scholastic News?"  YES I get it and you knew that because YOU OPENED MY PACKAGE!!!

I know it's ridiculous but I was just dumbfounded that she did that.  I would have given it to her if she asked!!   So, I didn't say anything because I don't want to cause any problems.  But Darcy wants me to email the whole school and play dumb and say something like "I just got my magazines and I can't seem to find my president poster.  Has anyone seen it?"  But, my 3 other posters are missing as well (well, 1 really because 1 of them is on the back of the president poster) and one of them is about George Washington and how things have changed since he was president.  If that shows up on the wall around President's Day I will flip out.  

So, what should I do?

Wednesday, January 7

Lucky number... 8?

I'm not sure I believe in magic anymore.  Christmas magic.  September-baby magic.  Dream magic.  It's-been-too-long-magic.  Happy 2009 magic.  Excellent sperm magic (if there is such a thing).  Super optimistic magic (I'm sure I just made this one up).  It doesn't exist.  At least not for me.  At least not yet.

So, it's a no.  Three times over, really.

So I was very, very impatient.  I mean, I was POSITIVE that THIS was THE cycle.  Basically I got my hopes up way too high... so I tested on Monday night (Day 12) thinking I for sure had at least twins.  So I figured that I would test early because Betas are higher for multi-pregnancies.  So, that came back negative.  I was upset, but, hey, it was only Day 12.  

I tested 24 hours later on Day 13 thinking this would be IT.  I was bummed it hadn't come back positive the day before, but I was still pretty positive it would on Tuesday.  Not so much.  So, by now, I was VERY upset... I had really, really convinced myself that this was IT.  I can't even tell you how many "symptoms" I had.  I even had a dream that I had gone in for an u/s and they had found 3 yolk sacs.  I was sure that was some kind of proof or sign or something.

So, I went in today... I guess cautiously optimistic.  I figured it wasn't "it"... and by then I had decided I didn't really want it to be "it" because my HCG obviously hadn't shown up on the home test, so I didn't want to have to worry about low Beta levels and all that stress.  But there was still some hope.  But I did something I never, ever do on testing days.  I checked off the "it's okay to leave a message" on the little pink card I have to fill out every time I go for blood or u/s.  (Usually I say it is NOT okay on testing days).  I guess I wasn't too hopeful... and I am REALLY sick of those "I'm sorry" calls.  So they left a message and it came back negative.  

I didn't get upset or cry with the call though.  I'm not sure if it was because I had mentally prepared myself, or because I was listening to the call in a room of kindergartners (illegally, I must add... :)).  But either way, I got through it fine.  Now I look forward to the next cycle.   

And really, there is an unprecedented number of pregnant people around.  Some I care about, so I am really happy for them.  And other's really deserve it (because I am so highly qualified to make this decision...) so I'm happy for them. But it's the huge plethora of pregnancy and babies all around in the general public.  Did you know Tim Allen and his wife are expecting?  As my hubby put it, "he's like 50 years old!".  Or Ben Affleck just had baby number 2?  (well, he didn't, but Jennifer Garner did).  Or the 7 pregnant ladies and babies at Lui Lui's the other night.  Or really, EVERYONE.  And I don't think it's because I'm just so highly observant, because I have been just as highly observant for 2 years now.  There really is a little mini-baby-boom around here.  You'll hear about it on the news soon.

With all this said, I want to make it clear that I don't think these people shouldn't have babies (at least not all of them)... it's just that they're everywhere.  It's a bit much.  :)

On a totally unrelated note (because I always need to add something completely irrelevant), one of my fabulous kindergartners fell down the stairs yesterday before coming to school.  She ended up in the hospital for x-rays and such.  No permanent damage, but, jeeze, I have NEVER seen so much bruising and swelling before in my life.  She looks like her face is a giant blueberry!  Poor kid!

Monday, January 5

Back to the grind... of school that is.  

Today was the first day back in what felt like years-- and no time at all, really.  Our last real day was December 18th-- the rest of the days consisted of a half day, a cancelled day and another half day for good measure.  So, really, it has been a long time.  While I enjoyed the freedom of doing nothing at all (and I really did enjoy having the hubby home even though I complained the whole time) and going to bed late and waking up even later... I really, really missed my kids.  They are truly an amazing group of kids... some definitely get on my nerves a lot, but I love them all.  So, it was good to get back-- it seemed like they had grown a lot in just the 2ish weeks.  And they got back in to the swing of things with no difficulty.   So, overall, good to be back.  :)

Thursday, January 1

Hope everything had a wonderful Christmas and New Years!  Last night (NYEve) was the hubby's birthday, but we played it lowkey.  :)  We had a pretty sizable snow storm as well, so it was a good night not to do much.  We did go see Seven Pounds...  I wasn't a fan of it, though.  :P

As I had mentioned, I've been feeling a little bit weird.  This AM I woke up in horrible, horrible pain.  I couldn't stand up.  I ended up getting sick, then I went back to bed and felt much, much better when I woke up.  So, at the time it was a little scary, but I'll keep an eye on it.  I still don't feel perfect, but I'll take it one day at a time.  

Other than that, I'm still anxiously awaiting Wednesday (or Tuesday night, really!).