Thursday, March 31


How far along? 26 weeks 2 days 26w3d

Total weight gain/loss: Today I weighed in at less than 20 lbs gained. I may have lost some being on bedrest the past 3 weeks. I'm not sure the total, but it's looking to be around 30(!!!!). I almost died when I looked at the scale yesterday.

Maternity clothes? Maternity pjs The ones that fit

Stretch marks? Yes... and my parents bought me coco butter to slather all over them. :) Yes. And my nice little 3 or 4 on the sides of my belly button have become a lot more and they have started to migrate south as well.

Sleep: Some nights are better than others! It's been really difficult to sleep lately... waking up constantly for no reason and just generally being uncomfy.

Best moment this week: Last week was a very uneventful week which was nice. I hate to say the same thing all the time, but just being here.

Movement: They love to move. They spend their time trying to kick off the monitor every day. That's when they go crazzzy. Lots!

Food cravings: Coffee ice cream. Yum! Nothing really... I'm not usually too hungry.

Gender: 2 boys Boy & Girl?

Labor Signs: Occasional contractions that I have been told are fine. They still make me nervous though. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions which are making me a little nervous... but they're usually when I've been standing for awhile or doing some other type of activity besides being a lump on the couch... hmm, or right now for no reason... so I'm trying not to worry to much.

Belly Button in or out? In-between-ie Out

What I miss: Being self-sufficient. Nothing

What I am looking forward to: Another great ultrasound and more uneventful weeks. July 25 makes 28 weeks! Getting past Tuesday (27w1d) and Thursday (27w3d) next week. Then it's on to 28 weeks.

Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy every minute. Take it easy?

Milestones: 26 weeks... under 100 days.
Under 100 days again! :)

Sunday, March 27

No hospital!

Just quick...

Friday's appointment was uneventful. I remained stable, so I am not in the hospital! I am staying out of work though to continue to remain stable. I'm supposed to be taking it easy, off my feet a lot, not picking up Colby (which is pretty impossible when I'm home with him all day), etc. I just got Sick Bank figured out, so I can remain out of work while still getting paid & maintaining my insurance which is fabulous. I go back to the ATU in two weeks! When I go back I will be 3 days further along than I was when the boys were born. I am so anxious to get to that point.

Yesterday we found out that our friends B&R are pregnant again, too! These are the same friends whose baby girl was due exactly 1 month after the boys in 09. (Course she's now 4 months younger than Colby instead of 1 month!) They're 6 weeks along, so things are still super early, but I'm excited for them. :)

Thursday, March 24

Daycare craziness and 25w3d

Tomorrow is back to the ATU for another length check. I am terrified. This week I had the whole week off so...

Monday Colby went to my in-laws because I had an OB appt. (I passed the sugar test!!!)

Then Tuesday he went to Day Care because I had meetings at school I had to deal with to get my time off approved. THEN there was a HUGE fiasco with daycare. Basically... early in the year I had only filled out paper work to approve Colby to go to the park and the pond on "field trips" with day care. And if he goes, he MUST be in a rear-facing carseat. (We are huge believers in extended rear-facing) Technically we're supposed to be informed BEFORE he goes to either of these two places (as in, she should tell us in the AM) She never has... but we've kind of gone with it because they're both super close to her house, etc. etc. Our hours that we pay for at daycare are 7:30-4pm. I usually get Colby between 3:15-3:30 depending on how quickly I can get out of work though.

SO Tuesday I dropped Colby off as usual-- I didn't mention that I was out of work because she's a HUGE gossiper and I didn't want to deal with that. Then Johnny went to pick Colby up after work. He showed up around 3:45 and NO ONE was home. So he called Daycare lady in a panic thinking something had happened with Colby or something-- she says "Oh! I left Colby's diaper bag in the driveway with a note-- my son had a doctors appt and we couldn't wait any longer." So she tells Johnny to come meet up with her to get Colby. He's flipping out (and calls me) and I started flipping out because she DIDN"T call us to say she wouldn't be home, she was NOT going to an approved place, and she shouldn't be scheduling appointments when she's getting paid to watch Colby. So Johnny goes to get him and notices that he's not in a rear-facing seat. At that point Johnny basically called it quits and said "We're done", paid for the day and was leaving it at that. She was upset because we weren't giving 2 weeks notice.

So the next day Johnny gets a call from her. He says he can't talk while at work, so she has to email him. Her email says that our hours are only until 3:30, I should have told her that I wasn't picking Colby up and it was my fault she had to take him, and that he was in the wrong car seat because she was in a rush (though he "usually sits in a rear-facing one as per the parents request"). Oh, and that she was taking legal action to get the rest of the 2 weeks pay. So, basically we have in writing that she DIDN'T call and took him without our permission to an "un-okayed" place. That she specifically did not have him in the correct carseat because she was rushing. Two HUGE safety things that could easily win us an "legal action" she decides to take. And I have the paper work that proves that the hours are until 4pm.

So basically, that has been interesting. I don't want to have to deal with legal-things right now so I'm hoping it blows over but I'm glad Colby's out of there. We were already looking into getting him out because there's jsut a lot of little things about her that was bothering us. The TV was on 24/7, she feeds the kids hotdogs and grapes (two items that are huge choking hazards and, according to the food program, absolutely NOT allowed for kids under 3... I totally feed Colby grapes, but I don't have 4 other kids I'm watching), the toys were always dusty and grimy but she would always say things like "Silly! I just took that out of the dishwasher!" whenever Colby put something in his mouth when I was there... and she was a huge gossiper so everyone and their mother knew I was pregnant with twins (the town I work in-- gossip spreads like wildfire) and "How could she possibly handle it?!" (I knew all about which kids needed teeth pulled and which ones slept with their parents and who had a miscarriage and so on.)

So, with all of that-- Colby has been home with me the past two days. I had actually planned on keeping him home with me so I could have extra time, but day care issue was the icing to solidify it. :)

We had a great past 2 days. Yesterday we just vegged and cuddled and loved every second. Today my mom came up so I got extra sleep and got fed like a queen. :) Tomorrow I'm keeping Colby for most of the day and then he's going to the in-laws while we head to the ATU.

I am scared that things will have changed and will send me in to the hospital. Tonight I let Johnny do the whole bedtime routine and I'm so sad right now to have missed it. I love my cuddle time with the Bug... and I know that one-on-one time is jeopardized as it is... I'm just afraid to know just how jeopardized it might be.

25 Weeks 2 Days - March 23

How far along? 25 weeks 2 days 25 Weeks 3 Days

Total weight gain/loss: No idea... I haven't been weighed in forever.
Up by about 20

Maternity clothes? Maternity pjs
Only super comfy pants. Jeans and work pants are too tight. Shirts are getting too short...

Stretch marks? Holy cow they are here. They are big and pink and they hurt. Is that normal? The combo of the ultrasound goo (used 4-5 times a day), rubbing it off, and my sensitive skin is painful. They're only on the underside though... I can only see them when Johnny takes a picture of me
I still think I only have the 4 or so on the left and 2-3 on the right of my belly button. I don't think there is anything new on the bottom-- I'm carrying so differently this time!

Sleep: Not enough, but I'm hanging in there.
Being off work and having help with Colby some days I've gotten a bit more sleep. My mom came up today and I slept until almost 10! Then she pampered me all day!

Best moment this week: Having things calm down after the scare last week.
I passed the sugar test the first try this time!! (Last time, I failed number 1 and passed number 2)

Movement: They love to kick! Usually they're really active every other day and 7pm is their play time.
Super active. I'm feeling lots more kicks and turns from Baby B now which is great. I'm feeling them both more mid and upper now- before most of it was down near my incision scar.

Food cravings: Anything... I'm always hungry! :)
I really wanted homefries, so my mom made those. In general, I'm not very hungry lately.

Gender: 2 boys
1 Boy and 1 Girl?

Labor Signs: Well, aside from the short, semi-open cervix, I'm doing okay. Contractions have pretty much ceased and I'm feeling good.
Nothing that I know of...

Belly Button in or out? In-between-ie

What I miss: Doing things for myself. Walking around.
Nothing nothing nothing

What I am looking forward to: Meeting the babies in a LONG time. :)
Lots more time with these babies INSIDE

Weekly Wisdom: I don't really have anything. Do what you're told, I guess. :)

Milestones: 25 weeks. We're steroid-ed up. They're still doing great... it's all pretty important, right?
We're here. The sugar test. :) That's all I have!

Friday, March 18

Here we go again?

This week's high risk appointment yielded a 1.5-2cm change in my cervix depending on which measurement you go by. So I'm still around 2-2.5cm which is considered "good". But a 1.5-2cm change in 7 days is not considered good. So, I'm off work this week-- not full bedrest, but I'm to take it easy.

I go back on Friday of next week to see if there is a change. If I remain stable, we will reconsider and see what I can do. If there is a change, then I am to welcome the hospital with open arms and allow them to shoot me up with steroids.

I'm not sure what to think-- but I also DO NOT want the hospital because I need more Colby-alone-time.

Wednesday, March 16

24 weeks 2 days

How far along? 24 weeks 2 days Same

Total weight gain/loss: I would guess around 25, but I haven't been weighed in awhile. It's around 20ish- maybe a little less?

Maternity clothes? Well, now it's more oversized tshirts and pajamas. I have no need for regular clothing anymore. Always, but the pants have to come off as soon as I get home because they're so tight.

Stretch marks? They're heeeereeee. Just on the underside. And you know what? They make me happy. More proof that these babies are growwwwing like they should. I'm all for them now... nothing else matters. 4 on left, 2 on right. I don't think I have any new ones on the underside this time. I had none near my belly button last time.

Sleep: Well, I lay down all day long... but I still manage only about 7 hours of sleep. :) 7-8 usually

Best moment this week: I love the baby kicks. I love every time a monitoring session or ultrasound yields nothing but "they look great". I will take it. Friday's trip proving to be nothing, making it to 24 weeks

Movement: Yes. It's amazing when we're being monitored how much they move. Every time they move, a little back dot appears on the print out. It's usually more of a long black line because they move so much. :) They're either gymnasts or soccer players

Food cravings: Hmmm... pickles would be nice. Coffee ice cream

Gender: 2 boys I've been so sure that it was 1 boy&1 girl OR 2 girls, so now I'm thinking it HAS to be 2 boys.

Labor Signs: Apparently I had "minor irritability" aka a minor contraction this AM during my monitoring appointment, but I didn't feel it and I was reassured by the nurse and the doctor that it's totally normal. Not yet!

Belly Button in or out? In-between-ie Out

What I miss: Walking around... being able to plan all the fun stuff... baby shower, their nursery, etc. But I KNOW it's worth it. I'd rather miss out on that stuff for a few months than to miss out on these babies. Not wheezing when I walk up stairs? It's pathetic. :)

What I am looking forward to: A few more relaxing and uneventful weeks. Hitting each milestone- our next goal is 28 weeks. Then 30. :)

Weekly Wisdom: Take it EASY! You may feel like you can do everything you used to do while pregnant, but you really can't. I learned the hard way that you really do need to take it easy and stay off your feet. It's best for you and it's best for the baby. I have never felt less wise

Milestones: Entering the hospital. I have NEVER been in the hospital for ANYTHING... not an ER visit, not an overnight... nothing. Now here I am and you know what? I'm surviving! :)
24 weeks for sure!

Saturday, March 12

A trip to L&D

That past few days have brought on increasing amounts of pain in my back, hips, legs... you name it, it probably hurt! Last night was particularly miserable and this AM I woke up feeling not much better. I decided to take the day off from work to rest so I wasn't walking around all day. The pain coupled with being 23 weeks 4 days along has been enough to make me a tad (or more) nervous.

We decided that a reassuring trip to visit Dr. K was in order. All I needed to hear was "Calm down, everything is okay." So I called to make the appointment, but Dr. K was on his way to the airport and couldn't see me. So they called me into Labor & Delivery at BI. NOT the place I wanted to be. After a tearful call to Johnny we were on our way to the hospital.

Thankfully this time it was MUCH quieter than last time we ended up in L&D for my registration prior to bedrest. We got in quickly and I explained my nerves and pain and everything else and everyone was so nice. The toco revealed no contractions and the heartrate monitors revealed healthy (kicking) babies. My blood pressure was fine (maybe a tad high due to nerves, but nothing too high). An ultrasound in the ATU revealed everything to be in perfect condition. So, we were discharged 3 hours later with a reminder to call any time anything seemed off.

So, now we're home with another ATU appointment in a week for another ultrasound and check. The babies are kicking away. I'm feeling more reassured. The nurses in triage were awesome- and one even remembered me from back when I was in the hospital with the boys. It was nice to be remembered. It was so nice to be told (over and over) that it's okay that I went even though everything was okay. That I have a reason to be nervous. Basically, it was nice not be to with Dr. R. :) (Because if she had been there I have a feeling it would have been more of "Why are you here if everything is okay?" and less of "Call ANYTIME you need to. This is an all night operation and we only want you to feel okay.")

And I've been given instructions to talk to Dr. K on Monday about plans for restricted work. Not bedrest yet, but I need to be off my feet more because things are just going to get tougher.

Wednesday, March 9


As you can imagine, I'm a nervous wreck. I hit 23w2d today.

That day.

Looking back at where I was with the boys makes me so nervous. I was just so naive. I thought everything was perfect and healthy and (insert laughter) until the appointment I had where the shortened cervix was discovered, I thought I would have full-term twins. Like 40 week twins. I didn't think it was possible anything else could happen.

But then everything changed so fast. And this time I went into this pregnancy assuming that everything would be the same. So, being here after my appt on Friday at 22w4d and still to be on my feet and working scares me a bit. I feel like I'm tempting fate.

What bothers me the most is that we don't know how everything happened last time. I went in at 18 weeks and I was fine. At 23 weeks I had less than a cm of cervix left.

Did it happen slowly over those 5 weeks? If it did, then odds are I have time. I was fine at almost 23 weeks so five weeks from then is almost 28 weeks.

But what if it happened quicker? Like over a week or just a few days? Then who knows. I could have been fine a week ago and holding on by a thread now. It's just the uncertainty that is killing me.

Or, like I've said before, there's the chance that nothing will happen this time. That last time really was just a fluke. A random act of chance that wouldn't have normally happened except that I lifted one box barely too heavy or anything.

But I just don't know. So I'm holding my breath until my next high risk appt at 24w4d. And I think I'm keeping my legs crossed too. :)

How far along? 23 weeks 2 days Deep breath... 23w2d.

Total weight gain/loss: More than 20. I have an appointment today, so I might get a more accurate measure. More than 15 less than 20. I think.

Maternity clothes? Always Since 12 weeks or so??

Stretch marks? Still none. 3 on the left now, 2 on the right

Sleep: I love it and cannot wait for school to be OVER so I can sleep in More like sleep deprived.

Best moment this week: Seeing baby kicks. The baby shower last Monday! Being here... and having a cervix measuring around 3.5/4cm on Friday. AND new High Risk Doctor.

Movement: Yes and I love it. It never gets old. All the time.

Food cravings: Mashed potatoes and pizza. Potatoes and ice cream. I made potato skins last night and had ice cream for dessert. :)

Gender: 2 boys Either 2 girls or a boy/girl pair.

Labor Signs: Nope I hope not hope not hope not. I wish I had a camera that could tell me exactly what was going on inside. I'm so nervous it's making me sick.

Belly Button in or out? In-between-ie Mostly out

What I miss: Nothing! Being worry-free? But nothing non-pregnancy related.

What I am looking forward to: Today's appointment and relaxing this summer. All my stress can't be good for the guys! Getting to 28 weeks at least. Or having my doctor say at 38 week "Okay, let's plan your C-section." Can you imagine???

Weekly Wisdom: I've got nothing! Ahhhhh! I need wisdom.

Milestones: Seeing the babies kick, entering the 6th month. I'm here. The babies are here. We're alive. And as far as I know we're all safe for the time being.

Tuesday, March 8

The hurdle...

Tomorrow marks 23 weeks 2 days.

I find myself holding my breath and waiting for the shoe to drop.

Though I won't know until 24 weeks 4 days. Or if something happens sooner.

I'm contemplating calling Dr. K and asking for a quick check tomorrow.

Just to make sure.

Friday, March 4

"Not willing to risk it."

Today I learned something very important.

Going to the high risk doctor doesn't have to be an overwhelming and frustrating experience. :)

When I left the high risk doctor on the 18th I was so upset. I called Johnny and vented and he decided right then and there to call Dr. K my OB. Dr. K wasn't in because the office was already closed so we had to wait until after the long weekend. The week came, I was on vacation, and I had time to cool off. So, I decided to wait until this past Monday's appointment with Dr. K (on the 28th) to bring it up. By then I had cooled off enough, and was happy that the babies both had beating hearts so I didn't fight the issue to hard. Instead I mentioned my concerns and we were left knowing we still had an appointment on Friday in Boston with high risk. We'd reevaluate after that.

So, fast forward to today. High Risk Day. Johnny couldn't come again, so I went in alone. Dr. R was switching her office hours from the regular office to the Antepartum Testing Unit at Beth Israel so instead of driving the extra 15 minutes to her office, I got to go to BI. It's a little comforting and a little odd and a little bittersweet going to BI. It's been such a huge part of our lives for the past few years and I know that place way too well. (Living there for a month and then having a baby there for over 3 will do that, I guess...) So I swung to the cafe, got a drink, and then headed up to the ATU. I hadn't been there since the week before the boys were born when I had my regular weekly growth check, but it was all very familiar.

I checked in and the receptionist informed me that Dr. R actually wasn't there today because something came up and they didn't want to switch appointments so I'd be seen by another doctor and was that okay? I was secretly very happy and said sure. The wait was very quick and I was taken to the ultrasound room. As the nurse was entering my info on the machine she commented that my information was already in the room's system. That's because it was the same room we were in when we were told that I was having contractions and that my cervix had shrunk again at just over 24 weeks.

Anyways, the Fellow then came in to do the ultrasound. He was a younger guy and super nice. And he had read my file. He knew why I was there and what we were looking at. He knew I had Colby. It was a huge relief not to have to fight to be there. Her performed the ultrasound and narrated what he was doing and it was just so nice. Both babies are measuring exactly on size, right around 50th percentile. Both are measuring 1lb 3oz. Baby A had a heart rate of 143bpm. Baby B had a heart rate of 161bmp. We even saw Baby B punch Baby A in the head. :)

It was funny though- he was obviously a little nervous to do the cervical check. He tried so hard to get the measurement with the external probe, but couldn't quite do it. So he apologized profusely that he had to do a transvaginal ultrasound. So, he left, I changed, and he and a nurse came back. They asked if I had ever had one done-- to which I explained that I did infertility for a few years and am in my second High Risk pregnancy, so yes. I had. Then it got a little weird when he asked (is this normal?) "Do you feel more comfortable inserting it yourself?" Umm... no, I don't think so. So, long story short, the ultrasound revealed a steady cervix with and without pressure. Measuring between 3.5cm and 4cm. (YES!) So still no bedrest.

Then I changed and stopped to talk to him and the best thing occurred! He says "It's up to you, and it won't hurt our feelings either way, but do you want to continue to go to BP (Dr. R's office) or come back here?" I may have been a bit too eager, but I jumped at the chance to get out of Dr. R's office!

Then another awesome thing that made me love the ATU a little more. Instead of saying something like "Your cervix looks fine, so why should we follow you so closely?" he said "Hm... I could say that we can see you in 3 weeks, but I'm not willing to risk it. How about 2 weeks?"

He wasn't willing to risk it.
He wasn't willing to risk the health of my babies.

I fell in love. Yes, maybe everything is perfect. (Yay) And maybe it will say that way, but he's not willing to take any chances, so to be safe, someone I just met, who only read my chart to know my "story" decided to be more cautious than my high risk doctor who has had everything explained at least 5 times.

I wonder if his willingness to be so proactive comes from his own little family. His son was born 7 days before the boys in 2009 and his wife is pregnant with their second child as well. Maybe the idea of having me going into labor so soon because something wasn't done to catch it hits too close to home? Either way, I'll take it! Even if it leads to awkward ultrasound questions. :)

So I go back in 2 weeks to the ATU. Dr. R might be there for office hours, and I'm okay with that. Because I know that there is someone there (besides me) not willing to risk my babies.

Wednesday, March 2

Random Teacher Tidbits

Totally random, and not baby/kid/family related at all.

I went to Boston University as an Early Childhood Education undergrad. It has a great ECE program pretty widely known. So the professors are hardcore. When I did my student teaching practicums (all three) each time the teacher I was "paired" with was known by BU professors. They had previously been observed for "best practices" in teaching to make sure they were good matches to be mentors. Basically, the professors had made sure they had gotten "the best" to educate the ECE students. We also had to student teach for about 12 weeks (or maybe a little more) whereas the Department of Ed requirements are only 6 or so.

So the random part is- I showed up to school on Monday morning and was going about my morning. And randomly, a student teacher from a local college showed up. Because apparently she's my student teacher for the next 6 weeks. And I'm in charge of mentoring her and observing her...? I can barely get through the day on my feet let alone be a good role model! I've never had any contact with this school or the ed department or anything. When an email went around about willing participants in this student teacher exchange I purposefully did not respond because I didn't want a teacher because I know I don't have much to offer right now.

But, alas, here we are. I like her a lot. And she likes to color which is great because I have about 52,000 "centers" 1/2 created that just need to be colored in.

And today she taught circle/calendar and read a book. I sat.

Maybe I could get used to this.

22 weeks already...

How far along? 22 weeks 2 days 22w2d

Total weight gain/loss: Right around 20 still. I think it was only officially 15 on Monday.

Maternity clothes? Always Yes

Stretch marks? Nope! 4- two on each side

Sleep: I miss it!!! I have been so busy lately with my grad classes, getting things ready at school for next year, the babies, and the house stuff. Uncomfy, but we're getting by. All I want to do is crawl into bed at the end of the day.

Best moment this week: Just the multitude of baby kicks!! And I got a massage on Saturday! I think it make my back hurt more because it was SO relaxing that afterwards the first pain was especially painful. I don't know if that makes sense... Kicks and it was February vacation last week, so I got to spend lots of time with the Bug. :)

Movement: Yes! Yes! Yes! :) LOVE LOVE LOVE IT. I'm not sure if I can see them on the outside, though. I never seem to catch them. Yup- they're very active around 7/8am and then again around 4pm and 10pm

Food cravings: Mashed potatoes! Watermelon. Potato skins, baked potatoes, mashed potatoes, homefries... all I want are potatoes lately!

Gender: 2 boys 2 girls... ?

Labor Signs: Nope No

Belly Button in or out? It's still half-way, but enough to see through clothes. It's not completely out, but if I press on either side of it, it will finish flipped out.

What I miss: Nothing! I really do love being pregnant! Nada

What I am looking forward to: More kicks! Next Monday's ultrasound. Summer vacation. (5.5 days incase you were wondering.) Friday's growth scan and check. It will be the deciding factor of bedrest now or if we can wait a week or 2 to see where we are.

Weekly Wisdom: I've got nothing!

Milestones: I'm still alive. They're still alive. We're happy. We are exactly 1 week from when I was put on bedrest last time, so we're so close to hitting that huge milestone.