Monday, May 30

The one where I complain that I just want to go home...

The girls are doing great.

Me? Not so much.

Starting the day after I delivered I started getting really bad chills. My nurse at the time called them "postpartum shakes" and tried to get me to use labor breathing to calm my body down. But the chills (or "shakes") kept coming back. Eventually I was running a low-grade temp. It was initially attributed to my milk coming in. But the low-grade temp spiked on Saturday night and I was immediately put on a course of antibiotics to control a potential infection and had my blood taken for tests. Nothing specific came back from any of the tests.

I took the antibiotics (through a brand-new IV- ick) all day on Sunday. The low-grade temp persisted, but I didn't spike again until Sunday night, when I spiked to 102.4. Also on Sunday I realized that when I was walking I had a lot of pain on my right side. Sitting down I feel the pain more on the side or in my back, but it's still there. So I mentioned that to my nurse on Sunday which lead to a bunch of blood cultures as well as a CAT scan of my abdomen to see what was up.

This AM I was told that the CAT scan revealed that I have a hematoma on my liver (???) but apparently that's totally unrelated and at this point sort of a nonissue. However, it was also discovered that I have a clot in the vein that leads to my right ovary which is probably causing the pain that I am feeling. The clot could be new or it could be something I've had for awhile. Either way, it has to be pretty large in order to be picked up on the CAT scan. I've had pain on my right side every since the IVF retrieval when they only took eggs from my left and left my right on its own. It could potentially be from way back then. Annnyways. As a result I've been started on a 6-week regime of twice daily Lovenox injections. I am NOT happy about that one. I'm here until the antibiotics are done. Apparently they're done 24 hours + 1 dose from my last fever spike. SO I'm desperately hoping that I do not spike again and I can go home tomorrow.

I'll update later on the girls... suffice to say they are AWESOME. I cannot wait to have them home!

Thursday, May 26

NICU Day 2

I am so in awe and in love with my little girls, my heart is overflowing!

I never in a million years expected 2 girls so now I'm clueless! They both doing wonderfully- no oxygen or breathing support of any kind. They both took FULL bottles today. They never even had feeding tubes in. Instead they got their fluids/fats through an IV initially and now it seems like they have gotten the hang of it!

I'm trying to pump and feed and stuff, but I'm in excruciating pain this time from the section. I really can't remember much about last time but I really don't think I was in this much pain. I'm trying to stay on top of the pain meds, but they don't really seem to be denting the pain. Oh well. :)

I've been pumping- so far 8 times today and 2 times yesterday. For my first 3 pump sessions I got 5ml, 2ml, and the .6ml. Since then? Nada. I'm not trying to get discouraged because I know my milk hasn't come in yet, but shouldn't I still be getting some colostrum each time I pump for 15-25 minutes? I'm trying to stay really well hydrated and I pump most every 2 hours on the dot. I try looking at picture of the girls, I try massage prior... I'm just at a loss. My milk really started coming in on the 5th day after the boys birth so I guess I won't really panic until we get there. :) But still, I'd like some reassurance from the milk Gods!

I did try nursing Sydney and Zoe this afternoon around 1. Zoe couldn't have cared less. She just wanted to sleep. Sydney did really well and had a good latch, but she was tired too. She did well for about 2 minutes then she kept drifting off. In between cat naps she would wake up now and again for another couple of sucks. Then back to sleep. :)

I could be upstairs now working on feeding and diapering and nursing and all that, but I'm just in so much pain and I don't have anyone to wheel me up there. (Though yes, I could ask a nurse!) I don't want them to get the wrong idea that I don't care. I'll try to make most of their feedings tomorrow. :)

The highlight of the day? Well, tied with having two healthy baby girls?

We brought Colby up to the NICU to meet "his" babies. I think he's in love too. :)

with Sydney

peeking at Zoe

Birth Day!!!

Like I mentioned, I had been having pretty painful contractions- but still very irregular. I would time them at regular intervals but then in the end they would stop. The most frustrating part was that, while i felt them all the time at home, they very rarely showed up on the NST monitoring. The we had the growth scan/scare on the evening of the 24th. Afterwards, things were looking good, so while Johnny rearranged his closet (nesting? taking on my responsibilities?) I just hung around with him until about 12:30. Contractions had slowed down and I was feeling pretty good. RIght before I closed my eyes, Johnny asked "You're not going to have the babies today, are you???" I said no- and since it was already past midnight Johnny reminded him that "no babies today" meant no babies for 23.5 hours.

I laid down and pretty quickly drifted off. Johnny went to sleep around 2am. Then around 2:20am or so I woke up for no reason at all. As I was laying there I felt a popping sensation... and then I could feel the leaking. I laid there for a few minutes taking it all in and then woke Johnny. He was a wreck! Operating on just over 30 minutes of sleep, so he couldn't think clearly and he looked like a chicken with its head cut off. Finally, he was ready to go. I asked what he had done... he had TAKEN TIME to empty the dehumidifier in the basement. He also took the time to make a quick "facebook update". It was rather funny to watch him get ready!!

FInally we were on our way and got to L&D Triage around 4am. Afterwards, they took us in pretty quickly, monitored the healthy-feisty babies. I only showed a few contractions, but I don't believe that because I definitely felt some hard-core painful contractions that started in my back and wrapped to the front.

Anyways, they pushed me quickly through Triage and to the Recovery Room for L&D until my turn was up. They tried to start an IV, but it didn't work, so I had to get a good IV in and also have a blood draw. Then I met with Anesthesia and they explained the process of doing a mixed Spinal/Epidural. Then we were off. I was in the OR before 6am and they started. Johnny came in and our girls were both born...

Sydney Hope
May 25, 2011
4lbs 10oz
18 inches

Zoe Elizabeth
May 25, 2011
4lba 10.8oz
18 inches

Johnny kept up with the girls in their warmers to see how they were doing.

I was still splayed out as they began to clean up the section and to prep me for the removal of my cerclage. While the doctors were doing their things, some of the NICU nurses brought the babes to Johnny and me so I could see them. And Johnny even got to hold Sydney--- MINUTES after her birth!! Johnny already knew that we were having 2 girls... but it was a surprise to everyone else! I was SO shocked to hear they were both girls, but I am SO happy too.

Cuddle Time with Mama

Recovery went pretty well (and still is)... I wasn't in too much pain though I did get sick a few times. I'm not surprised about that even though I'm on a cocktail of various anti-nausea meds.

Around 9:30am I got wheeled up to see my BEAUTIFUL GIRLS. They already have such different personalities. Zoe is feisty and kicks and squirms constantly. Sydney seems more laidback and is always opening her eyes to take everything. She really reminds me of those first few days with Connor. Both girls are off oxygen completely. Sydney never even had it on at all. Zoe only got the cannula for a few minutes. So really, all they have is their IV lines for antibiotics (protocol) and then the heart/breathing/etc leads. It is truly amazing!

After visiting, we headed to my new room to get settled-- I drifted in and out of sleep as Johnny brought our parents up to see the babes in the NICU. Around 4 I managed to get out of bed and headed upstairs to visit my girls again. Afterwards 2 of my brothers and my brother's fiance came up to visit the girls. While they were there Johnny and I BOTH got to hold BOTH girls.

Pure heaven.

So I've been up to the NICU three times, I've pumped a few times, and I'm just generally feeling good. The girls are just so gorgeous I can't stand it!

So, that's kind of the condensed version I suppose.

Wednesday, May 25

Baby 3&4 Timeline

Baby 3 & 4 Timeline

  • Jul 4: Due date
  • May 25: Happy Birthday, Girls!
  • May 19: High Risk 11
  • May 18: Dr. K
  • May 10: High Risk 10
  • May 9: 32 Weeks
  • May 7: MoD Walk
  • May 4: Dr. K
  • May 3: High Risk 9
  • Apr 28: Home bed rest
  • Apr 25: 30 Weeks
  • Apr 12: Cervix .8-1.2cm
  • Apr 11: FFN negative
  • Apr 11: 28 WEEKS!!!!
  • Apr 9: Steroid 2
  • Apr 8: Steroid 1
  • Apr 8: Admitted to BIDMC
  • Apr 8: Cervix 1.8cm
  • Apr 8: High Risk 8
  • Apr 6: Dr. K
  • Apr 5: 27w1d!!!
  • Mar 25: High Risk 7
  • Mar 21: Off Work
  • Mar 21: Dr. K
  • Mar 18: Cervix 2-2.5cm
  • Mar 18: High Risk 6
  • Mar 14: 24 weeks
  • Mar 11: Trip to L & D
  • Mar 9: 23w2d
  • Mar 4: High Risk 5
  • Feb 28: Dr. K
  • Feb 18: High Risk 4
  • Feb 2: High Risk 3
  • Jan 28: Dr. K
  • Jan 14: High Risk 2
  • Jan 6: Cerclage
  • Jan 3: Dr. K
  • Dec 21: Early Risk Screen
  • Dec 10: High Risk 1
  • Dec 6: 10 Weeks!
  • Nov 22: Dr. K
  • Nov 15: Twins pt. 2
  • Nov 15: Ultrasound!!!!
  • Nov 8: Beta #3: 34829
  • Nov 1: Beta #2 3445
  • Oct 25: Beta #1 730!
  • Oct 23: Positive test
  • Oct 14: 3 day transfer
  • Oct 13: 3 growing embryos
  • Oct 12: 5 zygotes
  • Oct 11: PIO injections start
  • Oct 11: 8 eggs retrieved
  • Oct 11: 9am retrieval
  • Oct 9: 9pm Pregnyl trigger
  • Oct 9: 22 growing follicles
  • Oct 9: Follicle Check (Blood & u/s)
  • Oct 8: Blood check
  • Oct 7: GonalF to 37.5IU
  • Oct 7: 19 growing follicles
  • Oct 7: Follicle Check (Blood & u/s)
  • Oct 6: GonalF to 75IU
  • Oct 5: GonalF to 112.5IU
  • Oct 5: 17 growing follicles
  • Oct 5: Follicle Check (Blood & u/s)
  • Oct 1: Lupron to 5IU
  • Oct 1: GonalF 150IU
  • Sept 30: Suppression Check (Blood & u/s)
  • Sept 26: Last BC Pill
  • Sept 20: Begin Lupron at 10IU
  • Sept 6: Begin BC Pills


Two girls!!!!

Sydney. Hope. 4lbs 10oz

Zoe Elizabeth. 4lbs 10.8oz

More later!!!!!!

Tuesday, May 24

Newest appointment...

Another pretty uneventful appointment at the ATU-- in the end. :)

NST showed great babies and a few contractions.

Then we had the weights. Last time- 3 weeks ago- A measured 4lbs 3oz and B measured 3lbs 10oz.

Today both babies were moving and kicking like crazy. A is still breech (though he/she had been head down for a bunch of weeks before last) B is still head down and wedged really low keeping them both in and making it really difficult to walk!

Measurement of A's head/belly/femur showed a weight of 4lbs 8oz.
Measurement of B's head/belly/femur showed a weight of 4lbs 14oz.

So of course that started a little bit of worry. Those weights showed that A grew only about 5oz in 3 weeks yet B grew over a pound in those 3 weeks. So there was a lot of trying to figure out placentas and if the babies were being switched (because A was originally presenting and B was now presenting, perhaps the ultrasound techs had flipped the babies and thus the measurements were for the wrong babies?). Turns out that the babies hadn't been switched, so the 5oz growth was really a concern...

In the end, the doctor decided to remeasure Baby A because the tech had a bad angle for A. The new measurements made Baby A show an estimated weight of 4lbs 15oz. So... in the end, they decided there was no reason to worry. :) But it was a tense few minutes (or about an hour) as they sorted everything out.

So, as of today they are officially estimating...
A: 4lbs 15oz (growth of 12oz in 3 weeks)
B: 4lbs 14oz (growth of 1lb 4oz in 3 weeks)

In the meantime.....
  • 34 weeks 1 day
  • my hands and feet are getting hugely puffy and swollen
  • weight up about 35lbs
  • Dr. K tomorrow
  • long periods of frequent (5-7 minute) Braxton Hicks contractions
  • more infrequent painful contractions in my back and/or front
  • insanely huge and numerous stretch marks
  • unable to get out of bed/off the couch without intense pain in my back and front
  • new mini-van on the way
  • cribs on order
  • completely in love with these two crazy babies!

My question... I have a pretty high pain tolerance. How can I really tell the difference between Braxton Hicks and real contractions? Braxton Hicks tend to be uncomfortable more so because they feel like they're squishing my stomach and bladder, so there is always a bit of pressure. The "real" ones I think hurt more in my back and are more crampy. But my back always hurts... so sometimes I'm not sure if it's the contraction making it hurt or if it's just "my back being my back".

So I try to pay attention to whether or not my whole belly is hardening or just the sides. The only problem with that is that sometimes my underside of my bellybutton doesn't seem completely hard (though it seems harder) even when it "hurts". But that also might be because I have gross/loose skin lower on my belly because of the difference in how I'm carrying these babes this time vs. last time, so maybe it doesn't feel as hard simply because there is squishy/loose skin? (Ewwww)

Basically, I'm still nervous I'm going to miss something! :)

Saturday, May 21

With friends like these...

When people aren't quite who you thought they were...

A departure from baby business. I recently received confirmation that a certain friend isn't really who I thought they were. Or a friend at all. I guess I'm not surprised... just hurt.

I've known this friend since we were in the 1st grade. We were immediately friends and stayed connected throughout elementary school and on. I'd be over her house or she'd be over my house constantly. I considered her a best friend. But looking back, there were some oddities. Often when I had friends sleepover we'd wake up the next morning and having had so much fun, I'd ask my parents if my friend could stay an extra night. After the okay from my mom and dad, my friend would call her parents. I did it all the time with friends, but I can specificially remember a few instances where this friend, N., would act all excited about sleeping over a second night... then she'd go to call her mom, ask for privacy in my bedroom, and I would hear her telling her mom that she didn't want to be at my house anymore. In essence, lie to me then make it seem like her mom or dad said no. It was odd... but I never really questioned it. But really, it set the tone for a lot of our friendship.

We moved on to middle school... passed notes, told jokes, and I thought had a good time. Then in 7th grade, her parents got divorced and I think that's where pretty much everything changed. Immediately my already quiet friend became even more quiet. I don't blame her... it was a really hard divorce on her and her sister. But the more I reached out, the more I felt pushed away. We still stuck together, but things just weren't the same. It continued the same way through high school and I eventually branched away simply because she didn't seem to want to be friends. We moved on to graduate, me going to school in Boston her going to school in Western MA. And of course we promised to stay friends, to stay in touch... you know, friends forever.

That summer before college I knew she was second guessing her decision to move away, so I made her a "College Survival Kit" for her birthday. I had gotten the idea from my cousins who made me a similar graduation gift. I put my heart into that kit. I spent a ton of time and money on everything- supplies and pictures and the explanation pieces. Basically I loved it and knew she would too. But when I gave it to her I didn't get so much as a thank you. She didn't look at it while I was around and I never heard about it ever again.

Again, we moved on. College began, we were busy but we'd chat on AIM. (Remember AIM??) She told me about school and told me she was in a relationship- but wouldn't so much as tell me the name. Again, she was shy so while I thought it was incredibly odd that she couldn't so much as tell me the name it was just another thing that I shrugged my shoulders about and moved on with.

The end of our first year at school my friend Sarah and I planned a big birthday party for ourselves and Nicole RSVPd that she'd be there. The party came and went and Nicole didn't show up. Confused, I called Nicole to make sure everything was okay. I emailed. I tried to catch her on AIM. I emailed her mom. I talked to her sister at work. The entire summer went by without a word, as far as I was concerned, Nicole fell off the face of the Earth. As a last ditch effort, I left a birthday present on the doorstep of her mom's house along with a note telling her I was searching for her. I got an email back where she explained her "issues". She explained that she was bulimic, that she was getting help, that she couldn't deal with the party, and that family issues were just overwhelming her. Again, I told her I'd be there for anything-- and I felt horrible that I didn't know what was going on with her. What kind of friend was I?

So we continued through college and kept in touch, but we had very separate lives. Every time I talked to her, something new was going on- or so I was told. One day she was in an honors program that was ending her to Paris. The next day, she didn't go to Paris because the trip was cancelled. Little things like that I didn't really know what to think.

Then in 2005 Johnny and I got engaged and planned to marry in August of 2006. Invited to the engagement party, shower, and wedding, Nicole opted out of all 3 festivities. We got a lot of "No's" for the wedding, but I didn't expect Nicole's. Most people who said no left a note on the back of the reply card-- "We're so sorry" and "Thinking of you on your day!" Nicole's was a little "x" next to "Cannot attend" and that was it. I was devastated. Heartbroken. But I moved on and enjoyed the day and the next few years.

Fast forward to 2008 or so. After a few years of wondering what I did wrong to be totally cast aside, I emailed Nicole and asked just that -- "What did I do wrong?" She proceeded to tell me that I had invited her mom to the wedding and she felt betrayed for that. As a result, she decided not to attend. I was a little shocked, but I ignored it and we tried to get past the issue. Over the next year or so I told her what was going on with us and getting pregnant and life in general. She finally let me know a little about her life and her relationship. It was strained, but for some reason I still felt like we needed to "make it work". We met up a few times while I was pregnant with the boys and she seemed excited.

Then I went on bedrest and had the boys. I got an email saying "You're a Mommy!" Then two days later Connor died and I heard nothing else. Not.a.word. She was absent at the funeral and you know what? I was still surprised. STILL.

And again, I just let it go. We'd send messages back and forth on facebook and I never mentioned the funeral (my fault, I know). She let me know that she was getting married herself, but it would be a small family affair. Meaning- I wouldn't be invited. But I kind of expected to be told? And I ended up finding out on facebook just like everyone else. And then she said she was having a big celebration for friends this past fall to celebrate the wedding. And again, the day came and went without a word.

And it just kept piling up. I went through IVF again, I got pregnant, I ended up in the hospital, heck I was having two kids. And not a word, so I went searching while I was in the hospital. And found that she had de-friended me on facebook. (I feel like such a middle schooler whining about that.) She had de-friended me, but we still had 64 mutual friends. You know, the people that you never talked to in high school, but still friended?? Exactly.

So, two nights ago while I was up at 2am unable to sleep, I wrote a message to her. It was long and it detailed everything-- from the party to the wedding to the boys to Connor's death to her wedding to now.

And this is what I got.
" It seems that every six to eight months I receive a venomous, accusatory email telling me what an awful person I am. Hopefully, the latest one you sent will be the last. You obviously have a lot of anger that you haven't dealt with, and I hope that someday you will get the help you need. "

My breath caught in my throat as I read it. Not only because I have never written a venomous or accusatory message to her. But because she's definitely right. I have A LOT of anger. And yes I have anger toward her. I thought I was trying to deal with it by talking to her, but evidently she thinks I have a lot to do. And had finally completely written me off.

Oh well, so long winded, but I'm glad I finally vented. :)

Friday, May 20

Sleep, atrophy, oh my!

The ATU was nice and uneventful again...

The Biophysical Profile yielded perfect babies. (10's!) They were moving and practicing breathing with perfect fluid. (We are so lucky)

The NST also showed active (understatement!) babies with accelerations and decelerations as wanted. A few contractions, but nothing unusual.

So we are off for another week. :) Weights next week. :)


But I have come (not really recently) to a new discomfort of pregnancy that I didn't know last time! (Or rather, two)

1. SLEEP. OH MY GOODNESS I CAN'T SLEEP ANYMORE. This really started in the hospital when nothing was comfortable. And has so continued and gotten so much worse. At 27/28/29/30 weeks in the hospital sleep would just take a little while longer. The bed had to be angled just so, I had to be on my certain side (I rebelled and slept on my right just as often as my left!), the room had to be a certain temp, my blanket had to be just so. Yes, I was neurotic, but I could usually get 6 or so hours as night plus a decent afternoon nap.

Then I came home. I can't sleep. Period. We have a clock that projects on the ceiling and I stare at it ALL NIGHT LONG. I get to know that I am up for the bathroom at least 2x an hour. Colby always wakes up between 1:30 and 3. The minutes tick by oh so slowly. I feel like I've been there forever, but it's only been 13 minutes. You know the feeling. I'm usually in so much pain by morning. My hips, my back, my legs... you name it. They should be rested from LAYING DOWN but really, I do that all day, so why would that be restful?

Usually, after Johnny and Colby are up and gone for the day I can spread out over the whole bed, prop an assortment of pillows and get a few more solid hours of sleep. But I'm afraid those days are over because instead I spent from about 5am to 7am (when I gave up this AM) counting intense contractions that never amounted to anything.

2. HOLY BED REST MUSCLE LOSS. I never had the problem last time. I guess 3 weeks of bed rest wasn't enough to truly let my muscles atrophy? But the 6+ weeks we're working on? Plus the 35+ pounds (vs. the less than 20 last time)? It's all coming together nicely to make my muscles cry out in pain with every.single.movement. Everything from my shoulders to my toes hurts. Occasionally I can get into an awesome position and be super comfy. But rest assured that 15 minutes later I am going to have to go to the bathroom. If I try to fight the bathroom I start contracting painfully. So I can't ignore it. Then I huff, puff, groan, and moan as I alter my body to sit up and then stand and then walk. It's quite ridiculous and a sight to see. :)

I constantly tell Johnny that I don't get how moms of 3 or 4 or more do it. :) I really think it would be easier without bed rest because I think a lot of my pain is from muscle loss.

But I will keep on doing it until the very end! Because, really, I'm 3 days away from 34 weeks. That means, even if my babes ended up in the NICU, I would be able to breastfeed when they were born (well, once they were stabilized... none of this silly 7 WEEKS thing we had with Colby!). And they wouldn't (barring some horrible unforeseen circumstances) be rushed out of the room before I could see them. We could hear them cry. They would be "late premature" and none of this "micropreemie" stuff where no one is sure if they're going to live or where they are already intubated before we can even see them and days old before we can hold them.

I have stretch marks on stretch marks. I don't know what the heck my belly is going to look like after I have these babies. I can't walk or touch my toes. I live in sweats. I can't decorate the baby room (alcove). I can't sleep. I can't get my own food. I can't function on a basic level.

BUT my body is keeping my babies safe.

I won't say I ever lost faith in my body last time or with the IF issues... but I did think it was kind of lazy and needed to get in gear. :) It's doing it's job now!!!

Thursday, May 19

5th Family Team

This year our team ended up raising over $9,000. We are currently the 5th Family Team in MA, too!

(Last year we were 3rd in MA though we raised less money... the Boston Walk raised over $700,000 this year!!)

Connor & Colby's Crew


Wednesday, May 18

Word of the Day

The word of the day at Dr. K's?



Dr. K is still amazed that we have gotten so far. 33 weeks 2 days. That's 6 weeks 1 day LONGER than the boys stayed inside! Think about what you could do in 6 weeks. Incredible.

He hasn't scheduled my C-section simply because he still thinking it will be less than 4-5 weeks so scheduling will be kind of silly. I'm okay with that... but SO THRILLED to be where we are. Still waiting for labor, ruptured water, or blood.

Contractions are still here and there, uncomfy and sometimes achey, but nothing timeable for more than a few (like every 8 minutes for only 4 contractions last night, then they went away).

I just can't get over that we are here. ATU tomorrow for ultrasound, growth check, and NST. Then back to Dr. K next week again. :)

Tuesday, May 17

I finally ordered! (a few)

I ordered a few things! :)

I got a "sample" GroVia package that comes with the cover and a few soakers. I want to try it with Colby after they're all washed.

I also ordered a few prefolds (one big enough for Colby) and a Thirsties cover (Colby's size) .

I want to compare the All in 2's with the prefold&cover.

I also got a few other things... detergent, a rash stick thing, snappi for the prefold, a small wetbag, and an odor remover spray. Now I'm just excited to get them to see what I think. :)

One question about the GroVia, or really any 1 size diaper... do you find that they are ridiculously big for an itty bitty 10 lb-er?. I like the simplicity of having 1 size diapers for birth to potty training, but now I'm starting to worry that the sizes will be too different. Oh well!

Oh and my mom washed all the newborn boy clothes we have! :) They're so TINY!

Monday, May 16



That's it.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the difference between this pregnancy and the boys. And really, it comes down to a little thread.

How crazy is that?

When I went into the hospital at 27 weeks in March, Baby A's water was pressing against the stitch. I was told then that, without the stitch I would have already had the babies. Again, I would have had 27 week babies. I'd be playing the NICU dance (hopefully) instead of laying here on the couch.

But that tiny piece of thread was keeping things closed past the stitch.

That thread has kept me pregnant for at least 6 extra weeks.
6 more weeks inside.
6 more weeks of growth.

How crazy is that? It amazes me that something so simple could have possibly kept Connor & Colby inside longer. It amazes me that something so simple IS keeping these two little ones in.

It also makes me wonder where we would be right now if I had gotten a late cerclage with the boys. Would I have stayed pregnant longer with them? Would I have two energetic toddlers running around (though 'energetic' is not a strong enough word to describe Colby!)? Would I be pregnant right now?

How different would life be with something so small?

And for now, I lay here and hope for more time! :) And relish in my new-found love of thread!

Sunday, May 15

Stretch Marks, oh my!

Up until about 27/28 weeks I had about 6 stretch marks.

6 or so weeks later, I can't count that high.

I didn't know that it was even possible to have so many.

Not complaining, but in a creeped-out state of awe. :)

I would post the picture I just took with my webcam, but I don't want to scare anyone!

I might have made a decision....

Here's what I *think* is my decision. :)

I'm thinking of ordering a few of the Hybrid (All in 2?) diapers. (The name totally threw me off to begin with!) I'm thinking those will be what I want to use. I like the GroVia because the inserts snap in. I guess they do with a few others too, though. I do like the look of the gDiapers, but I like the idea of snaps vs. velcro. I looked at a few other kinds... but once you get down to snap covers and snap in inserts, they seem pretty similar and... really... I liked the patterns on the GroVia better. :)

Then I think I'll also order a few shells that can be used with prefolds. I'm thinking I won't use the cloth diapers until the kiddos are a little bit bigger, but maybe I can try one or two on Colby to get the hang of it?

I like the idea of One-Size for the shells/inserts/prefolds... maybe I'm just lazy? I'm thinking the inserts vs. prefolds will be less daunting for Johnny. I also like the idea of having the choice of biorefills for the Hybrids for doctors appts and long car trips. We'll see... I'm excited to get this started, though!

I'm also thinking of getting a sprayer (maybe?)... I can't decide if it's worth it or not. Then I want to get a spray bottle of smell neutralizer or something (I can't remember what it's called) Then detergent and the wet bags.

I'm thinking I'll get 2 of the wet bags so I can have one up and one down-- plus with 2 babies I'm thinking we might need the space in 2? Is there a big difference between wet bags that have draw strings and ones that zip?

I'm thinking that might be it? I'm going to try and bite the bullet and order on Monday so I can have a few things in my hand before long. I have a feeling that everything will just become so much clearer when I'm holding the diaper in my hand. :)

Saturday, May 14

A few more CD questions

Quick diaper question... I'm going to pretend that I know the answer and I'm just "checking" the facts. :)

If you get a "pocket" diaper with the inserts and all, do you have to wash the cover every time? I thought you didn't have to ... but now looking into more of the pocket diapers I'm thinking that you do have to.

I'm still not sure about pockets vs. prefolds simply for the fact that prefold folding seems a little daunting and ... not so "idiot proof" (I'm the idiot obviously!). I thought pockets sounded good and I could just toss the insert to be cleaned and keep using the same cover while being a little easier (but without issues of all in ones.... mildew?).

BUT I also like the interchangeability of prefolds and covers. It seems that if you go for pockets you have to use "their system" (whichever that might be) whereas you can mix and match a little more if you use prefolds and covers. (Which really, cuteness is totally a draw... especially if there is at least one girl swimming around in me!)

So I'm thinking... I will need...

- prefolds (maybe 50-60?)
- doublers or boosters or extra wetter things or whatever they're called (# ... ???)
- covers, hopefully ones size fits all so it seems more like a long-term investment (maybe 12-20?)
- snappis things (those t things...)
- wet bag (maybe 2?)
- special detergent (?? totally clueless on this)
- maybe liners?
- origami training


- the pocket cover things (like 50-60 if you have to wash them every time??)
- pocket inserts (50-60?)
- liners
- wet bag
..... as I'm typing this I figure I MUST have it wrong because it is sounding a little crazy


- 50-60 All in ones
- extra soaker, booster, wet things
- wet bags

Would you believe that I'm STILL this clueless?? I have been googling like a crazy lady! It doesn't help that I'm terribly indecisive and I can't just hop to Babies R Us to look at some of the options just to see what the heck is going on!

And bumGenius... are the regular ones AIO, but they 4.o's pockets? There's so much lingo bouncing around on so many blogs and sites I can't keep things straight...

Wednesday, May 11

Ramblings and 32 weeks!

Let's see... things have been moving along quite uneventfully. :)

I haven't been feeling too great lately... just exhausted (no, really!?), a little dizzy, just "off". Walking is excruciating. I'm thinking it just so painful because I spend so much time OFF my feet, so any time I have to be on them is awful. I've only gained around 30 or so (maybe a few more) pounds, so I don't think it's an excessive weight thing... many people with only 1 baby gain much more!

I'm having lots of Braxton Hicks that are downright uncomfortable. Not painful, not crampy, just not comfy. They make me feel dizzy and hot and I'm not crazy about them. I try to keep count, but I haven't had more than 6 in any hour, and usually fewer, so I'm just getting through it. I'm still on the lookout for blood, painful & regular contractions, lower back pain and broken water. Until then I'm taking it day by day and loving that I know that these babies are still doing great. :)

Yesterday we had another high risk appointment at the ATU-- 32 weeks 1 day. Both babies were wiggling and practicing breathing and had heart rates of 137bpm. We still don't know what they are-- though Johnny enjoys trying to figure it out at every ultrasound appointment. :) We also had an NST and the babies looked great for the 30ish minutes.... though the nurse was a little annoyed when she couldn't get them on the monitor easily. I miss the nurses on the antepartum floor!! :) She had the toco set directly on my bellybutton so I don't think it was picking up anything at first because my bellybutton wouldn't tighten for contractions. So about 15 minutes in I realized and I moved the toco and it picked up a few minor contractions, but again, nothing painful and nothing unexpected. Back in another week.

Other than that... things have been pretty uneventful like I said. I'm thinking we should order cribs soon. I've put off doing most anything simply because I've been overly cautious about getting too excited. Now I'm pretty sure that we'll make it long enough to limit a NICU stay and that I will be taking home TWO healthy babies in just a few WEEKS.

At most it will be 6 weeks- June 20th- that the babes will arrive as my doctor won't let me go past 38 weeks. Likely though, it won't be that long. (I mean, really, how long can membranes stay intact when they're hanging out against a stitch??)

Either way, I AM so excited to meet these two. Boys? Girls? One of each???? Weights? And we'll actually have a CAMERA this time! :) It's so nice to be on this side of things and to know what a happy pregnancy can be like! :)

Saturday, May 7

Here he comes!

He's ready to go!

March for Babies... the walk is on!

And they're off to walk!!

Our team has raised well over $8,500!!!!!

Friday, May 6

Thank You!!!

You guys are absolutely amazing!!

Now my biggest challenge is going to be to decide on which brand/type to go with!

I think I will stay away from the All in Ones. Maybe I'll get a few just to make it easier for Johnny when he's in charge, but I like the idea of reusing the covers.

I like the idea of pockets simply because then I don't have to fold... but I figure that I'll get used to folding. :) How do you get the folded diaper to stay put? I've seen these "T" shaped things that hold the prefold together before the cover goes on, but are they necessary? (yes, I know it would help if I knew the real name! I saw them on "What the Blog"s post about diapering triplets)

And I didn't know about the liner idea, but that's pretty tempting for when Johnny will be in charge. His biggest reservation is having to shake off the mess-- he doesn't do well with diapers even now! So I'm thinking those might be helpful for him!

Now to cost-compare and figure which kind to go with! :)

Again-- you guys are amazing!!!

Thursday, May 5

Cloth diapering questions...

Okay, you guys are awesome, but my head is still spinning. I guess I have to start with terminology first.

I'm not sure if terminology is brand-specific or cloth diapering related? So, let's see...



bummis covers?

contour prefolds?




Then a few other opinions/questions...

1. Do you prefer snaps or velcro?

2. Do any brands you've tried leave marks on legs?

3. Do you use a toilet sprayer? Or what else do you do?

4. Cloth wipes vs. regular wipes? Which do you use or prefer?

5. Washing... you have to wash each load 2 times, right?

6. How do you manage the dirty diapers? I'm thinking I'd need a diaper bag up in the baby room, in the living room, and in the basement.

7. Diaper creams... I've heard they cause problems by reducing the absorbency of diapers, so what do you do? But then again... I've also heard that CD babies get less rashes, so maybe it's a nonissue?

8. Am I crazy for thinking of using cloth diapers for twins?

9. Has anyone used cloth diapers and then put their child in day care? I've read that some daycares will only accept all-in-ones.

10. Can someone just treat me like I'm an idiot (I really don't mind) and explain the entire process of assembling a non-all-in-one diaper, piece by piece? If someone could maybe post a photo-assisted post about this, I would be eternally grateful. I find info on sites, but they don't act like I'm an idiot so they still throw around the terminology that makes my head spin...

11. How many would I really need of each piece (if I did non-AIO)? I really want to start as soon as the babies come home... but I realize that might mean extra pieces that are grown out of quickly.

Wednesday, May 4

Cloth Diapers

I've been trying to figure out cloth diapering and I'm beyond confused.

Right now I'm between the all-in-ones of bumgenius and the pocketed ones of gDiapers.

Can anyone shed any light on cloth diapering and point me in the right direction?


Tuesday, May 3

Newest Weights

31 weeks 1 day... also four weeks later than the boys were born!!

Baby A: 4lbs 3oz
Baby B: 3lbs 10oz

That's almost 8 lbs of baby!!!!

In total last time I had 4lbs 12oz of itty bitty squishy baby in there.

It's such a weird place to be now... in a very good way.

Sunday, May 1

I LOVE Being Home!

Being home? = PHENOMENAL!

I hate having to be waited on. The pull out couch I spend most of my day on is super uncomfy. I can't pick up the bug.

BUT... I'm with the Bug all day and all night.

He seemed to do fine while I was gone-- mighty adaptable that one. He got into a routine and survived.

But now that I'm home he does not want to be away from me. (Which I do not mind!) I get unlimited unprompted "Mama!" hugs. He kisses like crazy. He kisses and hugs the babies (my belly, which is is happy to show off in all it's stretch-marked glory to anyone who wants to look) like there is no tomorrow. He is just happy to have his Mama home! (Though somewhere along the way he learned that my name is Stacey and has used it on several occasions!)

He seems so much older than 3 weeks ago. He's constantly running and jumping and laughing and tickling and generally cracking me up. I was keeping track of all his words for awhile-- I was up to about 160 or so, but I can't even keep track anymore. He repeats ANYTHING (as an example, there was a hilarious incident of him saying 'Dammit!' over and over in the car the day I got evicted because I kept laughing so he wanted to say it more and more. Thank you Daddy!) and strings together words that we didn't even know he had heard before. Today he cut his foot on a puzzle. Later on he took my cell phone and opened it and saw a "Baby!" (an old picture of him) and showed the baby his foot and said "Baby, I got Booboo!". The only thing he won't say is 'Colby'! He knows everyone else and will say anything (Daddy had him repeat 'phosphorous' today and he said 'forus') but he won't even try Colby! (He knows 'Connor' too!)

I just can't get over him. Sometimes I think he's too smart for his own good, but I wouldn't trade it for anything.

Being his mom gets better and better every day. And it's so much more amazing than I would have ever guessed!!