Thursday, January 26

Separation Anxiety x 1,000,000

So, I've been back to work for almost 5 weeks.  Things have been going pretty well.  I'm up at 5 to pump and shower and all that good stuff.  I'm downstairs by 6 to wash my pump stuff, clean a few bottles, and wait for the nanny.  Sometimes the girls wake up while I'm getting ready, sometimes they don't.  I'm in the habit of waking Colby up (which I actually really, really hate because I know he needs the sleep) because I don't want him to panic when he sees that Mama's not there anymore.

See, the return to work has made Colby super super Mama-clingy.  He's usually pretty good about letting me out of the house in the AM with minimal tears or begging for me to stay, but when I am home there is no escape.  I can't shower, do laundry, or even run up to check on the girls without him needing to be with me.  If I leave him he breaks down in hysterics and it breaks my heart.  I know it's probably just another phase of separation anxiety but it's killing me.  I feel so badly for him that he gets so upset and on the other hand, I'm feeling a little run down that I can't get 2 seconds.  Instead I literally have to carry him up with me just to peek in on the sleeping girls.  (I have to carry him because he's in this "I don't want to fall" phase.  *sigh*  Phases.)

So I guess I'm asking for suggestions?  I kind of hate the thought of breaking this phase simply because I love to be wanted, but at the same time it really can't be good for him to be so dependent on me, right?  I mean, I've read a lot on child development during various courses and this just seems a little excessive and that makes me nervous.

Monday, January 23


Some bits and pieces until it's time to turn of the pump or until a babe wakes up.

  • I signed up for my last grad course last night.  (Last course, but I still have 2 pracs to do)  The semester started today & it really looks kind of manageable.  However, that might simply be because the class is called "Program Evaluation" and I have no clue what that means.  It's over April 7th.  I can make it until then.  Right?
  • I'm feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole teaching-motherhood-no sleep-pumping every few hours- grad school thing.
  • School has been going okay... my class is still tough, but I love them just the same.  They're coming along- they're starting to realize that I'm not going to tolerate their inappropriate behaviors.  I always tell my kids that I don't care if they make mistakes & I don't care if they don't understand how to do something, all that matters is that they try to learn, to listen, and to do their best.  Simply reminding them of that (over and over) has really seemed to help some of the kiddos get really excited about learning.
  • I still feel so behind at school though.  We're finally through relearning routines (well, my routines) so we're settling in to actually completing lessons.  It's so different being in 1st grade than K though because I am just not a "follow-the-book-and-do-the-lessons" kind of person.  I use small groups and learning centers and hands on activities and I hate worksheets, but that's the total opposite of our 1st grade curriculum.  So I find myself struggling between what I know and do, covering the manual, and making sure that the two meld to somehow still meet the standards.
  • Colby turned 2 1/2 on Thursday.  So the 21st was Saturday.  I know I've said it before, but it's really not getting any easier.  Instead I find myself kind of blindsided by glimpses of what might have been if only that morning had turned out differently.  That's a whole other issue though.
  • The girls are 8 months old on Wednesday.  I can't believe it.  They're getting so big so fast it's scary.  By the time Colby was 8 months we already had our Baby #3 (which turned into #3 and #4) appointment with the RE.  This time?  I'm trying to catch my breath still!  (But there are some days where the Baby Bug is knocking at the door and I am so ready.)
  • We interviewed and chose a new nanny.  This one has a 20 month old son she'll be bringing along.  I am a little nervous how that whole dynamic is going to work, but she seems pretty amazing, the kid is super cute and sweet, and Colby keeps singing "Logan!  Logan!  Logan!" because he wants to play with him again.  I hope it works out.  Until at least June.
It's almost midnight, so the pump won out.  The girls are still asleep.  :)  

Wednesday, January 18

Seriously 2012??

Oh lordy... so I was hoping that 2012 would hold great things.  So far it has been a big ole headache!

  • Colby started getting sick on Dec. 29th with a fever and general "not-himself-ness".  It's been 3 weeks and he's still sick.  He's definitely getting better and nowhere near the "I-only-want-to-lay-around-and-watch-Cars" boy that he was for awhile there, but holy goodness.  Get over the cough and runny nose already.
  • So of course I got sick and was pretty darn miserable.  School started back on Jan 3rd, the 4th I had a fever, sore throat, headache, and lost my voice.  I went to school the next day unable to talk, but the Friday I took off because Colby had pink eye.  Seriously? (That was Day #1 off from work)  Then I went the walk in the next day for my awful throat thinking it MUST be strep.  It was just a virus.  I am still sick.
  • So of course the girls get sick.  Zoe & Syd started getting congested this past weekend.  Miserable times let me tell you.  I think that twins are really pretty easy.  Except when they're sick and clingy. Though still congested and cough-y, Sydney has started to feel a bit better with no noticeable fever.  Zoe was so NOT HERSELF that we went to the doctors today.  103 fever, bloodwork, and chest x-ray later, she was sent home with an antibiotic because of what showed up as the possible beginnings of pneumonia.   Oh and she has pink eye too. (These past two days were Days #2 and #3 off from work.  I have FIVE total before the end of the year.)  Here's to hoping my babes are better soon.
  • On Monday of last week our nanny informed us that she is MOVING to NORTH CAROLINA on JANUARY 30th.  She got engaged and her boyfriend is in the Marines in NC.  So we're on the frantic search for a new nanny.