Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

Thursday, June 13

So I've got a new blog in the works.  It's basically the same as on here, but in a new location.  I'm not keeping it private in the "you need a password/permission" sense,  but I am keeping the address private unless people want it.  Basically, I feel like everything on here has become much more accessible than I had originally planned back when I started.  If you google my kiddos, you find this blog and several people over time have done that.  For the most part I don't mind, but it makes things a little awkward when people say "Oh, I read your blog..." and I find myself wondering how they found it and knowing that they now know more about our history than I might have planned.  (Emily, I don't mean you :)

And there's the fact that it's just easier to start over than to go back and edit everything.  :)

So, I know I'll lose people in the process (sadly) but if you want to keep on reading my (almost nonexistent) posts (4 kids under 4 is BUSY) send me an email (

Saturday, June 8


  • Does anyone who reads this use Gerber Good Start formula?  I have over $20 of coupons that I can't get rid of and I hate to throw them away.  Or how about Similac?  $20 for that too!
  • Hunter turned 3 months this week.  He's so big already-- at least compared to where his siblings were.  At his two month check up he was about 11lbs.  At their 2 year check up the girls were 22lbs.  I'm sure Hunter is closer to 13lbs by now.  He's actually in 3-6 month clothing.  Colby was in (and even started) 3-6 month clothing long after he was 6 months.  I know, I know, I should stop comparing, but it's so different.
  • I'd love to be able to write WE SOLD THE HOUSE.  But I can't.  *sigh* Another open house tomorrow, though with the torrential rain we're getting I'm doubting there will be many visits.
  • My brother-in-law is visiting from Missouri.  He's in the Air Force and currently stationed in Missouri.  He just finished a domestic-deployment (I didn't know they even did those) in Delaware and last year he was deployed to Afghanistan.  It's nice to have him visiting-- he's one of a handful of Johnny's family who like us.  (Another story for another day)
  • I'm in the process of trying to donate some of my 1,000+ ounces of frozen milk.  I had so much that we couldn't put a single thing more in the deep freezer (which was only frozen milk) so I shipped about 1/2 to my parents deep freezer and ours is already filling up again.  It's a tough call because I know I'll need some when I go back to work, but I'll also still be pumping and nursing then, so who knows how much I'll need?  But at the same time it will be nice to help some of those itty-bitty preemies out there.
  • Parents of twins out there-- have you ever had a problem (like a serious problem) with your twins hurting each other?  Our girls are so rough with one another and I don't know where it comes from.  Zoe currently has a cluster of cuts on her arm and another on her chest from Syd scratching her.  (I've since cut nails)  They're always hitting each other over the head with something, pushing, biting, pulling hair (!!!).  I'm hoping it's just a really long phase, but I so hoped to see the two of them so best-friendy for life.  
  • We're 100% cloth diapering here and I love it!  So far they work so well.  When the girls were itty bitty I was doing 2x the laundry for twins because they would literally explode out of their diapers every single day.  It was ridiculous.  I would usually acquire 4 day time outfits and 4 pjs in one day.  So far with H Man?  The BumGenius diapers have had zero leaks or explosions or anything.  The gDiapers aren't as good-- I had them from the girls and never really liked them at all and they're so ridiculously expensive.  For H I have 6 BumGeinus All in Ones (Freetime I think?) and 7 3.0s (pocket diapers).  Then I have the 6 gDiapers and 1 random Grovia I had bought a long time ago, so 20 diapers in all.  With 6 of us now I'm already washing SO much laundry that really the load of diapers every day or two doesn't seem like much extra at all.  Though, when we move I'll probably miss having all of those perfect diaper boxes to pack in..
  • As far as WHY I'm using cloth diapers?  I wish I could say that it's all about the environment and protecting the Earth and all the good stuff to go green.  But, really the cuteness factor was #1 to start with.  (Ridiculous, I know, I know...)  And part of it was to prove that I could.  I know, stupid stupid too.  But I kind of like a challenge all the time and this is my "challenge" right now.  (I know, I'm crazy.)  But seriously, I wish I had used them with Colby.  I couldn't do the pre-folds with the snappis thing because I like "easy" (yes, I know I just said I like a challenge.  A little bit of a challenge I guess) and I don't think I would want to deal with that.  I guess I like that they're regular diapers, but "cute".  Geeze, I'm pathetic...
Relaxing in his swim shirt and his orange diaper.   :)
Seriously, I have a problem...

Wednesday, May 29


Life is still so busy... time is rare.

  • We're still in the process of keeping the house "show-ready".  I am so over it.  I will never move again after this time.
  • I've been applying to new jobs "down South" (Southeastern MA).  Deadlines aren't for awhile so I won't know anything for awhile, but I just want to have a job already so we can have some direction in our lives.
  • The girls turned 2 on Saturday!  They're so big I can't stand it.  They had a blast opening gifts.
  • Colby, Syd, and Zoe got sick starting Saturday night.  Slight fevers always keep us on edge with Colby's history of febrile seizures and the {slightly} elevated tendency for siblings.  Luckily, we were seizure free and they're all fine now.
  • Now I can't even figure out why we're so busy when I have nothing of substance to update on.

Saturday, May 11


  • The Boston MoD walk was today.  We've decided to pretend that 2013 didn't happen.  We'll do better next year.  :)  In the past 3 years (2010-2012) we raised almost $30,000 as a team- so about $10,000 a year.  This year?  $2,000.  We've had a lot on our plates... new baby and house stuff.  So we dropped the ball, big time.  Every year we make shirts-- not so much this year.  We usually do a "big" event.  Not this year.  This year the only people at the Boston walk with us were my family.  At the Lowell walk it was my family + one of our friends + two of Johnny's cousins + one college friend.  Not our 40+ turn out of years past.  Again, we'll get better.  Oh, and we didn't even really walk today because of parking drama + hungry kids + rain.  Next year will be different.

  • But I should mention, we may have only raised $2,000 but we are SO grateful for that money.  And we KNOW that it will go to a good place to give babies a healthy start.  $2,000 is better than nothing.

  • SYDNEY.  I know I've mentioned it before, but that girl is TROUBLE.  She can be so sweet but she can be mean too.  And I mean mean because she knows what she's doing.  I can ask her "Is it nice to bite?"  and she'll answer no.  And then I can ask her about pinching and hitting and scratching and so on.  I can also throw in "Is it nice to hug?" and she'll answer yes.  So I know she gets it, but then a minute later the teeth or the nails come out.  Colby has a huge bruise on his back and Zoe has a few on her body.  

  • I am burnt out.  Between everything {life} I'm just tired.  Hunter sleeps well from about 10-1 or 2, but then he's up pretty much every hour ish, which I can handle because he's easy, but add in everything else of life (you know, dishes and laundry and cleaning up and putting kids to bed and baths and on and on) and it just never ends.  I don't expect anything to change here, but just saying.

  • But the girls are finally off the bottle.  They have been for almost a month.  For a month or so my routine was "put the girls to bed, come down, feed Hunter, get him settled, then wash a sink of bottles, do laundry, etc." and it got to the point one night I looked at the sink of bottles and I was just done.  So I washed them, packed away the drying rack and all the bottles and just called it quits.  The next day the bottles were "broken" and we had a rough day but it was over before I knew it.  And they're fine... though it does make me a little sad sometimes because Zoe loved her bottle so much and now she's so big.

  • The day after the bottles broke Zoe decided to break free of her crib for good.  She's been climbing out for awhile, but she was just done.  I put her in, she was out.  End of story, so she spent a day on a mattress on the floor and after a particularly rough night with her on the floor but then jumping in Syd's crib we got 2 toddler beds (amazingly cheaper than buying the conversion rails).  We had an awful couple of naps and nights, but now they are amazing.  It takes a little to get them down for bed, but once they're out, they're OUT.  No more waking up crying and all that crazy jazz we had.  Naps are a snap too.  So my girls are officially BIG.  And two in two weeks.

  • Hunter is growing like a week and on all the WHO charts for growth.  It's amazing.  He's officially 1/2 Syd's size and just under 1/2 Zoe's size (they're about a pound apart).   He's just chunky and chubby in all the right baby places.  It's just so odd when I compare him to the other kiddos.  Colby was 9lbs at 3.5 months after TONS of extra calories to plump him up.  (Though a 2lb 3oz vs 4lb 14oz birthweight makes the comparison pretty unfair)  The girls are just slow to gain weight even though they eat like horses.  It's so odd to have a baby that fits into the clothing that matches his age.  We just bought him 3-6 month clothes for the summer and his 0-3 are right on target for him right now.  What did I buy the girls?  12-18 month clothing and even that is loose!

Wednesday, May 1

Continuation of bullets...

Since last time...

  • Our house was officially listed this past weekend.  We've had two showings so far- Monday and yesterday.  They are a huge pain in the neck.  We joke that our house is in "Transformer" mode.  We have the house with kids and toys & then to show we "transform" to the "show" house where we put all the toys in the basement and make everything look "just so".  And holy goodness, it's exhausting.  And then we have to manage to get out of the house with the four and find something to do.  The first day we were actually just leaving as the agent showed up and he told us to stay.  So we hunkered in the backyard as random people went through our house.  Awkward.  Last night we got out on time, but H had to eat so we ended up parked in front of the mail house as he chowed down before heading to the park with the rest of the kids.
  • Hunter's appt at Children's yesterday showed that yes he does have a hypospadias.  So we'll be heading back to Children's in about 5 months for him to have surgery.  I knew it was coming I think, but it still was a little hard to hear the words.  It's not a big deal, but anesthesia and an hour+ of surgery on my baby isn't something I look forward to.
  • In other news, my itty preemie was 10lbs yesterday.  That's up about 5lbs 2oz in the past 2 months.  What can I say?  He likes to eat.  He'll eat pretty much every 1 hour & 45 minutes from about 2am to 10:30pm.  From 10:30pm to 2am I get a nicer little break.  :)  But it's so much less exhausting to nurse him than it is to deal with the bottles and pumping I did with Colby & with the girls so I will take it.  
  • And he's waking up so I will go.  I never post pictures on here anymore because I don't have time to upload and edit all the photos and to get them all set.  Instead follow us on instagram-- ccszh.  I post there more frequently.

Sunday, April 28

A few bullets

Life continues to speed up as I need it to slow down.  We've been busy with no end in sight.  A few long bullets...

  • Last weekend we had the March for Babies in Lowell.  We were the ambassador family so we cut the ribbon to start the walk.  It was beautiful during the week leading up to the walk, but of course the day of it was windy and super cold.  I managed to last half the walk with the kids before looping back to the car to warm everyone up and to feed Hunter.  It was a nice walk, but the atmosphere was no where near as amazing as the Boston walk, so I'm looking forward to that in two weeks.

  • The same afternoon we rented a UHaul and with the help of my family we loaded up about half of our things and shipped them down to my grandfather's house.  Like I mentioned before, we're putting our townhouse on the market and step one was to make it more presentable for the stager & photos.  We unloaded a ton of things, but so much as packed away with the assumption we'd be moving in just a few months.  Any longer and we'll have to go dig a bunch of things back out.  My grandfather is letting us store for free which is a huge help.  Now we just wait and see...
  • We have an appointment at Children's for Hunter on Tuesday.  He has a suspected hypospadias. He was actually supposed to have the appointment last Friday but that happened to be the day they locked down Boston because of the bombings, so here we are.  In the hospital the NICU and Urology teams went back and forth over yes he has it and no he doesn't, so it will be nice to finally have a decision.  A 'yes' verdict means at about 6 months Hunter will be going in for surgery.  I've kind of just decided not to worry either way.  It's not life threatening so either way we'll get through it.  
  • I headed to the park this weekend with the kids & my parents.  I hung out in the car with the girls while they slept so I could feed Hunter while my parents and Colby headed to the park.  The park we go to is a 2-5 year old park so it's perfect for the kiddos.  Very often we're the only ones there but this time there happened to be twin boys just slightly older than Colby.  To say Colby had a blast playing with them would be the understatement of the decade.  My heart hurt a little.  Another one of those reminders of possibility.
  • Colby's starting to "grasp" Connor.  He knows Connor existed and that when they were born he and Connor were both very sick.  He knows that Connor didn't get better, but he obviously still doesn't get what it means when we say that Connor died.  He's been asking me lately when Connor will get better and come home.  I think he vaguely thinks that Connor's still at the hospital and that he'll be home when he gets better.
  • I don't know if I ever mentioned that Colby calls Connor is angel.  I don't think we (Johnny & I) ever really referred to him as Colby's angel, so it's interesting to hear.  Awhile back Colby also told Johnny that he doesn't get scared in the dark because sometimes when he's afraid his angel Connor will come down and make him feel better before flying back to the sky.  
  • Sydney is always saying words that sound just like Connor-- she says corner and counter and they sound like she's always saying Connor.
  • The girls are 2 in less than one month.  TWO!

Wednesday, April 17

On tragedy & the future

Being from Massachusetts and living very close to Boston makes the bombings hit very close to home.  I grew up about an hour south of Boston and we visited for the museums, Red Sox games, and school field trips.  I attended college at Boston University in the heart of the city. Now I live about 40 minutes north of Boston.  During my pregnancies I traveled to Boston biweekly for checks at my MFM.  I "lived" in the city for a few months while on bed rest with the boys and then with the girls.  We walk in the Boston March for Babies event each year along the Charles River.

Point being, though we're not living in Boston, we're in Boston a lot.  I think that's why Monday's events were particularly hard to swallow.  For once, one of the horrific events that we hear about on the news wasn't "somewhere else".  While in college I watched the marathon from the streets of Boston.  A few years ago we headed to the city to cheer on a friend who was running the race.   I've never been to another city's marathon, so it might be the same everywhere, but I was always amazed how the marathon in Boston brought the whole city & state together.  Marathon Monday is a holiday in Massachusetts-- the holiday is really Patriot's Day and it always falls on school vacation week.

So after being horrified of hearing of the events-- and hoping against hope that it was just a horrible accident.  Maybe a gas line burst? -- after that all I could think was how it was all just too much.  Less than 4 months ago we were reeling in the aftermath of the Newton school shooting.  5 months before that it was the Colorado movie theater shooting.  And those are just the "big" ones.  And then all you want to do is grab your kids and run away.  Where?  I'm not sure, but I know I just wanted to be somewhere safe.

But then I was outside playing with the kiddos and just seeing them play, so happy, so innocent- just seeing that reminded me of all the good in the world.  Really, the world is a pretty good place.  People can be amazing.  Yes, there are some horrific people who do unthinkable things.  But most are good.

And tragedies like yesterday remind me just how important my job of raising these 4 miracles is.  I can't fix what happened.  I can't stop someone else from taking another life.  But instead I can raise my kids to be decent, caring, generous people.  I can raise them to think of others.  To do the right thing.  To be a ray of hope in a dark time.  And that's a pretty amazing power.

And because of that, I'm okay with the future.  I teach amazing children who are going to grow up to be amazing adults.  I am raising four smart, caring children who will grow up to be anything they choose in this world.

And all I can think of is Ghandi's quote "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

And good ole Dr. Seuss "Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing will get better.  It's not."

It's easy to stop and blame and shake your head at the future.  But at some point we need to stop and take responsibility to make it better.   And I know my kids will do just that.