I'm Back!!

I'm back from vacation- though we had a great time, I'm exhausted. We spent a few nights in Fredericksburg VA for my cousin's wedding (which was really nice), a night in Richmond with my other cousin and his wife, a bunch of nights with the hubsters cousins in Falls Church, and then a few nights at a realllly nice hotel in Alexandria. And, though I'm usually a photo-aholic, I actually didn't take a single picture! We went all over, too. I guess the memories will stay in my head!

It was kind of interesting as far as baby stuff goes. Obviously we're in the middle of the 2ww, so there was no drinking at all on my part. It was an open bar at the wedding so everyone else was enjoying that, but I stuck to virgin shirley temples and water. Even though my parents know exactly what's going on, they kept asking if I was going to drink. Um... no.

Then Sunday night we were hanging out with my cousin and his wife (my cousin-in-law?) and my cousin's wife asked the dreaded "Are you thinking about having kids?" question. Honestly, after laying it all on the line with our parents, I wasn't ready to get into it again. But I didn't have a good reaction at all. I just kind of stared off and let the hubby handle it. (Not now... or something like that.) Then the hubby fired back, "How about you guys?" I felt bad that he asked because, well, we HATE that question, but they asked, so I guess he felt entitled. :) But their answer was, "We've been trying, but not doing so good on that one." I was floored! After looking at the hubby I responded, "Yeah, we're actually going through the exact same thing." So it was really nice to have someone to talk to. Someone who understands. Someone I know. Someone who didn't go through it 20 years ago. Ahhh it felt good. :) And my cousin put it well, once you mention what you're going through to people, it's like you get this secret handshake from people. No one (or at least not many people) really comes out and is free with discussing their "issues".

Then... one night, I can't remember which one. I think it was on Tuesday (our anniversary) we were sitting at my hubster's cousin's house and they got a call from his other cousin (the brother of the cousin we were staying with) who lives in NH. He was letting them (his sister and parents-- my husband's aunt and uncle-- who were at the house with us too) that his wife had just miscarried at 10 weeks. Johnny and I didn't know that she was pregnant, but apparently she had told everyone else back on the 4th of July. This is their 3rd 10 week miscarriage-- which we didn't know about either. I can't even imagine. They said that they're going to do some genetic testing, but if it's not meant to be, then they'll just concentrate on being an amazing aunt and uncle to their nieces and nephews.

So, it was just very strange that these things hit so close to home.

The evening that we found out about the miscarriage, we went out with the cousin we were staying with and her husband. Johnny wanted to tell them what we were going through so that he could have their opinion if the other cousin's would be comfortable talking to us because of what was going on. It was seriously the most uncomfortable conversation EVER. I didn't participate in it at all. And the husband of the cousin (I wish there was an easier way to designate everyone) kept saying "Put on some classical music and get a good bottle of wine." and "It's just a fact, some people aren't meant to be parents. There's nothing wrong with it." I wanted to SCREAM. (Side note: He has two of the cutest, sweetest daughters in the world. But he's never around because he's a lawyer and works 100+ hours every week). So, needless to say, that conversation was not helpful at all and just made me extremely mad... and unwilling to open up to anyone else.