"Not willing to risk it."

Today I learned something very important.

Going to the high risk doctor doesn't have to be an overwhelming and frustrating experience. :)

When I left the high risk doctor on the 18th I was so upset. I called Johnny and vented and he decided right then and there to call Dr. K my OB. Dr. K wasn't in because the office was already closed so we had to wait until after the long weekend. The week came, I was on vacation, and I had time to cool off. So, I decided to wait until this past Monday's appointment with Dr. K (on the 28th) to bring it up. By then I had cooled off enough, and was happy that the babies both had beating hearts so I didn't fight the issue to hard. Instead I mentioned my concerns and we were left knowing we still had an appointment on Friday in Boston with high risk. We'd reevaluate after that.

So, fast forward to today. High Risk Day. Johnny couldn't come again, so I went in alone. Dr. R was switching her office hours from the regular office to the Antepartum Testing Unit at Beth Israel so instead of driving the extra 15 minutes to her office, I got to go to BI. It's a little comforting and a little odd and a little bittersweet going to BI. It's been such a huge part of our lives for the past few years and I know that place way too well. (Living there for a month and then having a baby there for over 3 will do that, I guess...) So I swung to the cafe, got a drink, and then headed up to the ATU. I hadn't been there since the week before the boys were born when I had my regular weekly growth check, but it was all very familiar.

I checked in and the receptionist informed me that Dr. R actually wasn't there today because something came up and they didn't want to switch appointments so I'd be seen by another doctor and was that okay? I was secretly very happy and said sure. The wait was very quick and I was taken to the ultrasound room. As the nurse was entering my info on the machine she commented that my information was already in the room's system. That's because it was the same room we were in when we were told that I was having contractions and that my cervix had shrunk again at just over 24 weeks.

Anyways, the Fellow then came in to do the ultrasound. He was a younger guy and super nice. And he had read my file. He knew why I was there and what we were looking at. He knew I had Colby. It was a huge relief not to have to fight to be there. Her performed the ultrasound and narrated what he was doing and it was just so nice. Both babies are measuring exactly on size, right around 50th percentile. Both are measuring 1lb 3oz. Baby A had a heart rate of 143bpm. Baby B had a heart rate of 161bmp. We even saw Baby B punch Baby A in the head. :)

It was funny though- he was obviously a little nervous to do the cervical check. He tried so hard to get the measurement with the external probe, but couldn't quite do it. So he apologized profusely that he had to do a transvaginal ultrasound. So, he left, I changed, and he and a nurse came back. They asked if I had ever had one done-- to which I explained that I did infertility for a few years and am in my second High Risk pregnancy, so yes. I had. Then it got a little weird when he asked (is this normal?) "Do you feel more comfortable inserting it yourself?" Umm... no, I don't think so. So, long story short, the ultrasound revealed a steady cervix with and without pressure. Measuring between 3.5cm and 4cm. (YES!) So still no bedrest.

Then I changed and stopped to talk to him and the best thing occurred! He says "It's up to you, and it won't hurt our feelings either way, but do you want to continue to go to BP (Dr. R's office) or come back here?" I may have been a bit too eager, but I jumped at the chance to get out of Dr. R's office!

Then another awesome thing that made me love the ATU a little more. Instead of saying something like "Your cervix looks fine, so why should we follow you so closely?" he said "Hm... I could say that we can see you in 3 weeks, but I'm not willing to risk it. How about 2 weeks?"

He wasn't willing to risk it.

He wasn't willing to risk the health of my babies.

I fell in love. Yes, maybe everything is perfect. (Yay) And maybe it will say that way, but he's not willing to take any chances, so to be safe, someone I just met, who only read my chart to know my "story" decided to be more cautious than my high risk doctor who has had everything explained at least 5 times.

I wonder if his willingness to be so proactive comes from his own little family. His son was born 7 days before the boys in 2009 and his wife is pregnant with their second child as well. Maybe the idea of having me going into labor so soon because something wasn't done to catch it hits too close to home? Either way, I'll take it! Even if it leads to awkward ultrasound questions. :)

So I go back in 2 weeks to the ATU. Dr. R might be there for office hours, and I'm okay with that. Because I know that there is someone there (besides me) not willing to risk my babies.