4 Months

Thursday marked 4 months since the boys' birth.  Colby is a thriving 4 month old.  He's huge, beautiful, and you couldn't tell that he was such a micro-preemie by looking at him.  :)  (He was 10lbs 7.5oz on his 4 month birthday!  That's up 8lbs 5.5oz since birth.  More than 2 lbs a month!!!)

Today, therefore, the 21st, marks 4 months since we lost our baby Connor.  4 months.  Think of what you could do in 4 months.  That's more than a whole season.  It's more than summer vacation.  You could lose a whole lot of weight in 4 months.  

It's so much time, but sometimes it feels like nothing at all.

It hurts to think that he's being forgotten, that we're so far away from seeing his little face.  But what hurts the most is that the way things are now seems normal.  It's normal that we have one baby to snuggle at home.  It's normal that there is one crib in the nursery.  It's normal that people think we only have one baby.

So today and every day we remember his short little life, his beautiful searching eyes, his kicks, and the possibility that lay within him.  

And I'm still waiting for it to get easier.

A few weeks ago I was looking at our family website and I noticed that there were so many pictures on it that I had never seen, so here are some pictures of Connor on July 20th, the day after his birth.