Like I've said before.. some days are good for me and others aren't. I've had a few rough days here and there... but I'm surviving.
Today is the boys 3 week birthday. Time flies. Yesterday marked 30 weeks gestation. If only I had been able to keep them in and meet that elusive goal. I'd probably have them both to visit in the NICU... not just one. But, yes, I do know that things happen for a reason. For some reason I'm meant to have just Colby here with me right now. It hurts, but I'm hoping I can understand that one in the future.
The other day I was at the hospital with my parents and Johnny. My mom had stepped out to get something and Johnny was changing the diaper. My dad and I were sitting in chairs watching Johnny do his work. The respiratory therapist (whom I loveeee) turned to my dad and asked if he was Grandpa-- to which he of course said yes. Then the respiratory therapist asked a question I'm sure she regrets now (and immediately after asking): Is this your first grandchild? It took my dad a few seconds to find the simple words "No, second." But I could hear the pain in his voice. Immediately after he kind of shut down and was quite for a really long time. It's clear he misses Connor just as much (okay... maybe not that much) as we do. It's a pain you deal with every day. I wonder what his answer will be when he's asked how many grandkids he has? I know my answer will be that (for now) I have 2 kids...
Time to focus on some positives for the Colbinator... let's see what has happened recently...
1. He reached full feeds this week!
2. His PICC line came out on Friday.
3. His IV came out on Friday.
4. His vent came out on Friday. (partially due to Colby's hatred for it)
5. He's tolerating the CPAP!
6. He got a big-boy isolette on Saturday.
He's doing very well and every milestone is one step closer to that elusive trip home! Then I really don't think I'm sharing him for at least a week. He's all mine and we have a lot of time to make up for.
What a few photos?
Looking like a worried old man.
Sick and tired of mommy taking so many photos!!
A big-boy isolette!
Pouting because mommy wouldn't let him extubate himself!
10 comments:
What a trooper and what a cutie! Congrats to Colby, for fighting so hard and making such progress. He's going to be one heck of a man. :)
He is gorgeous! I'm so glad to hear that he's doing well.
Hugs to you all.
So glad to hear your baby is doing much better. Can't wait until you can bring him home!
Go COLBY, Go! What a strong little man. I cannot wait until the day you can hold him at home, snuggle him on the bed and just be together. It isn't far away now, and you are being so strong.
Thinking of you, always!
Yes, you have 2 kids! You always will! Colby is quite beautiful/handsome! :-)
Thank you for sharing him with us!
Hi Stace,
My congratulations and heartfelt best wishes to you as you ride on the roller coaster of parenting a preemie. I am a nurse practitioner and wrote a book about my daughter's first year - she was a 1 pound 9 ounce 25-weeker - and you may find it a helpful resource and a source of hope, as well as a good picture of what the first year with a preemie may bring for you and your family. It is called Small Wonder, the story of a child born too soon, and is available on Amazon. All the best to you and your family, and don't be afraid to ask for help!
Susan
He is soooo cute!! So glad he is doing well;)
What adorable pics of your little man. :-D Thanks for sharing.
He looks great!
We always tell people we have 3 kids and 2 on the way. When they ask, we explain that our babies were severely premature and only lived a short time. It hurts sometimes but it also such a blessing to share them.
Way to go, Colby!!
Do you have a grandparent or close friend/relative that has passed? If someone questions why you only have Colby with you or if you don't want to explain your story to someone (like the stranger behind you in the grocery store line??), just say that Connor is with that person. It's not a lie, and that way you still get to acknowledge your sweet little Connor.
Thanks for sharing Colby's pictures!
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