Adventures in life, infertility, and teaching! And twin pregnancy! And bed rest! And motherhood! And the NICU! And grief. And staying home with my little man! And going back to work full time! And IVF #2! And twins again! And more bed rest. And a shorter NICU stay. And motherhood x3! And a life full of crazy & love! And adding Miracle baby #5!
Like I've said before.. some days are good for me and others aren't. I've had a few rough days here and there... but I'm surviving.
Today is the boys 3 week birthday. Time flies. Yesterday marked 30 weeks gestation. If only I had been able to keep them in and meet that elusive goal. I'd probably have them both to visit in the NICU... not just one. But, yes, I do know that things happen for a reason. For some reason I'm meant to have just Colby here with me right now. It hurts, but I'm hoping I can understand that one in the future.
The other day I was at the hospital with my parents and Johnny. My mom had stepped out to get something and Johnny was changing the diaper. My dad and I were sitting in chairs watching Johnny do his work. The respiratory therapist (whom I loveeee) turned to my dad and asked if he was Grandpa-- to which he of course said yes. Then the respiratory therapist asked a question I'm sure she regrets now (and immediately after asking): Is this your first grandchild? It took my dad a few seconds to find the simple words "No, second." But I could hear the pain in his voice. Immediately after he kind of shut down and was quite for a really long time. It's clear he misses Connor just as much (okay... maybe not that much) as we do. It's a pain you deal with every day. I wonder what his answer will be when he's asked how many grandkids he has? I know my answer will be that (for now) I have 2 kids...
Time to focus on some positives for the Colbinator... let's see what has happened recently...
1. He reached full feeds this week!
2. His PICC line came out on Friday.
3. His IV came out on Friday.
4. His vent came out on Friday. (partially due to Colby's hatred for it)
5. He's tolerating the CPAP!
6. He got a big-boy isolette on Saturday.
He's doing very well and every milestone is one step closer to that elusive trip home! Then I really don't think I'm sharing him for at least a week. He's all mine and we have a lot of time to make up for.
What a few photos?
Looking like a worried old man.
Sick and tired of mommy taking so many photos!!
A big-boy isolette!
Pouting because mommy wouldn't let him extubate himself!