Thursday, August 13

Surrealish

As I've said time and time again... there are good days and there are bad days.

I've been doing okay.

But I can't help but feeling like everything has been so surreal.  I still cannot believe that I had another baby besides Colby.  I cannot believe that we had Connor and that we lost him.  I can't believe that it's been so long already.  I guess I just feel like the past month has been a dream.  It couldn't have happened to me... and it couldn't have happened as it did.  Colby has SO quickly become my whole world and my reason for being.  I guess that makes sense.  But it makes me sad.  

I'm not going to play the "it's not fair" game anymore.  It's NOT fair, but I have to get over that because complaining isn't doing anything.  I'm not the only one this has ever happened to... I have to move on.  Not get over it, but move on.  

I had more to write, but I can't think right now.  It's a jumble in my head... I probably won't make sense of it for a long time, but I'm trying. 

3 comments:

Shinejil said...

This is way too much for anyone to process all at once. It will take time.

Wishing you a restful weekend.

Michele said...

it is so much to handle... just one day at a time dear one... one day at a time...

Carrie said...

I cannot imagine how foggy you must feel! This has been the most eventful time in your whole life, so give yourself some time to sort it all out. We are always here to listen no matter what you say. I have been thinking of your family every day.

Big hugs.