Just an update

Today we had an appointment with the fabulous Dr. Anania. I really like her. Have I mentioned that? Anyways, things are as we figured. We're going to finish this cycle. And hope, hope, HOPE it works. (We'll know if we're on the right track on Sunday) If not, the next 3 cycles will be Gonal-F injections and Ovidrel. Not looking forward to the shots. If that still doesn't work (it has to, right?) we'll move on to IVF. So, here's hoping! :)

Ahhh

So I am freaking myself out right now. As I've mentioned, I was accepted into the UMass Lowell Reading and Language program for Spring of 2009. I do not yet know how much financial aid I might receive. So I had lunch with my parents today and my mom mentioned looking into Grad classes at BU again-- that's where I got my undergrad-- because they might provide more financial aid because they're a private institution and because I graduated so well while I was there. So now she got me to thinking how much I would LOVE to go back. I looked onto the MA DOE website because I got my teaching license in 2006. So it should expire in 2011-- 3 years from this past August. That's not much time to get my masters. But if I'm employed for 5 years with my Initial License, then I'm eligible for a 5 year extension on my Masters requirement. So basically I'm freaking out because don't know what to do or what I want to do. Ahhhhh.

Day 12

Day 12 will be Oct. 5th, so that's the next day for blood and ultrasound. We'll see where we stand after that-- the IUI is coming up fast!! :) As are my hopes...

Fourth time's the charm!

Today my blood draw took 5 vials and four tries. :( The first nurse was new-- he tried twice on my left and once on my right before giving up. Then he called over another girl who got it on my left after moving it around a little bit. After the second vial the blood stopped flowing so she had to do more moving around. NOT FUN.

Day 1

Though I had been enjoying my time away from the needle (hey, I sound like an addict), it's back on it on Friday. Today's Day 1, Friday will be Day 3... so that means Friday will be a blood and u/s day. Woohoo. I enjoyed my peaceful couple of weeks (and I always do), but as always, it feels good to be getting something done. So that's that. And I assume this is a clomid at 150 IUI cycle. But I do what I'm told, so I guess I'll find out when I get my call back for the time. And either way, we have an appointment with Anania on Monday to see where we go from here. As always, keeping the fingers crossed.

And on a random note, does anyone else do this? When we start each cycle and figure out when the test day will be, we figure out roughly 12 weeks/3 months from the test. Then we figure out what holiday/event/etc we could share the news at. So, when we did the February cycle we thought Mother's Day. The April cycle we thought my birthday. The August cycle we thought Johnny's mom's birthday... you get the idea. So, this cycle will be Christmas. :) Though I really doubt I could ever really wait that long. Maybe Thanksgiving. :)

Update:
Fri morning I'm scheduled for a 7:15 u/s and a plethora of blood work. I guess my blood work-up of hormones and infectious diseases from last year has expired so time for more. Yay... that means multiple vials of blood. And we all know how much I love to give blood... :P And I just ordered this cycle's meds. Should have it tomorrow or Friday. :)

Dealing with it...

I'm doing okay. Once again I had gotten my hopes up a bit. I had tested Saturday and it was negative, but I kept thinking that maybe it was too early, my levels hadn't gotten high enough yet, etc. So, though I expected it, the call sucked yesterday. Each time they call me with the negative results they seem to get sadder and sadder. I guess they're starting to know me and starting to become more invested in this whole process, too. :) It's so awkward on the phone when they tell me it's negative. I always want to hang up on them. Or cry. Or throw the phone. But I do my best to be strong and to listen to the directions ("We're ready for you to do another cycle if you want. Just call on Day 1.")... even if my voice breaks a little bit.

And that gets me thinking, as much as it hurts when they call me to tell me isn't negative, I don't think I'm prepared for the day they call and tell me it's positive. Who really wants a semi-stranger calling and telling them the thing they have been waiting for? I've always pictured Johnny and I huddled around the test (because I never test alone :) ) and finding out together. Other people aren't supposed to know til we tell them. Not the other way around. So I guess that's why I test before the official test. But will I ever really believe it until the official test?

So... I continue to deal. Take what comes and forget about what I can't control. (Which, unfortunately is a lot lately...)

. . .

I'm reminded of something my college roommate used to always say

Too bad. So sad.

And that sums it up.

Cycle 6... And 6 has always been my favorite number.

Here we go again.

And on an unrelated note... have you ever stopped to wonder just how much blood you have given to your RE? To date I've had almost 50 blood draws for RSC. That's in 1 year. And that's a lot of blood.

Still optimistic

But I tested today and I got a negative. (It wasn't a 1 line/2 line deal today, it was a plus or negative :) ) So I'm still waiting patiently for Monday. If things didn't go right, though, we have an appt. scheduled with Anania on the 30th to see where we go next. :)

As requested

I have been told that I need to update this more often. However, the reason that I don't update much during the 2ww is because there really isn't much going on. I'm just patiently (or not so patiently, really) waiting for Monday to come along. Or, really, Saturday when I'll test. :) I'm starting to get nervous, but I'm also trying not to think about it.

As usual, school is keeping me busy... tomorrow is Back to School Night, so I'll be at school from 7am-8pm tomorrow. I'll leave at 6:15am and get home probably around 8:30. Long day. The hubby is brining me dinner, though, which will nicely breakup the evening.

So, yeah, I guess I'll update on Saturday... unless something interesting happens before then. :)

Uneventful

So, the life and times of me have been rather uneventful the past few days. And I kind of like it like that. :) School's been keeping me busy. I was supposed to start a new math curriculum this week, but the materials are mysteriously missing (for the whole district, mind you) so that's on hold. I started my anti-violence curriculum "Second Step" today. I got to play with puppets so that was fun. I start the new phonics curriculum on Monday. Should be interesting. My school failed to meet it's Annual Yearly Progress the past few years so we're kind of on probation which has led to the implementation of these new curriculums. My teaching partner has decided to take a personal stand against the phonics program... because it was brought in by the principal... whom my teaching partner hates. Sooo it should be interesting! We're mandated to do this, but she just decided not to. Guess we'll see where that one goes! :) That's all!

I'm making sure that I'm being VERY good this cycle with the progesterone and my vitamins. I missed a few here and there the past few rounds. This round I want no excuses. :)

If there is a next time...

RSC just called. Checking up on my files and the like. My doctor has suggested I do one more clomid IUI (if this one doesn't work). Then she wants me to come in and see where to go from there. Basically, I've been a mystery up until now. They thought it would work with TI so they're kind of at a loss as to why it hasn't thus far. But, who knows, I might be pregnant right now. :) And I know that I said I would put my foot down to more clomid because I want to move on to injectables, I have so much stuff going on right now with school and work that I don't have time to argue this. So, hopefully no need for any more rounds, but if so, it'll be an Oct. clomid IUI and possibly a Nov. injectables cycle.

As always, we wait.

Good weekend

It's Sunday night. The weekend is almost over and I'm getting ready to go back to school tomorrow. My mind is racing- I have so much to get through over the next few weeks. Four of my 15 kids are reading already. So I have to modify all of my Guided Reading lessons to challenge them. We still haven't learned all of the daily routines, so setting children up to independent AM centers is challenging. My behaviorally challenged child needs some sort of new behavior chart. But I'm not sure what to do. In short, I just want to get through the next few weeks with a little sanity.

But I am optimistic that this week will be a little better and a lot smoother than last week- each week will get easier. My teaching partner said she had the worst first day of school ever on Thursday. She's been teaching for 10 years. There goes my hope that the first days will get easier over the years. :)

But on a positive note, I was talking to the 1st grade teacher who has 1/2 my kids from last year. She was amazed at how polite, well-behaved, and advanced (in reading and writing) they were. :) So I have proof that the hard work pays off. It is just stressful in the beginning. (VERY stressful!)

The weekend itself was pretty good. Relaxing. Low key. Hopefully the start of something fabulous (I'll let you know in two weeks). It'll be our last relaxing weekend for a few weeks so I'm glad I got to enjoy it. :)

Goof

I forgot to mention how ABSOLUTELY ridiculous Johnny was at the IUI today. If you don't know him (and I think only 2 people who read this do...) he is just like a little kid. He needs to be doing something or else he gets bored and makes his own fun (usually stupid fun). He has a very hard time sitting and just waiting. So, after the IUI you have to lay on the table for 15 minutes. Johnny wasn't having any part of that. Instead he proceeded to make his own entertainment. He put on some blue latex gloves. He found a blood draw needle (thank goodness he didn't feel the need to use it!). He opened all the drawers. (I sure hope they don't have a camera in there!). He played with the pull out part of the table. He played with the light on the table. He took out one of those huge Q-tip looking things and wanted to use it very badly (I said no). And then, when everything else was denied of him, he tried to crawl on the top of the table with me. There's more, but to spare him from sounding too weird or crazy I will leave it out. Suffice to say, he was really entertaining. I guess you had to be there. But he was being so loud and I was laughing so much I'm sure they heard us in the hallway. I wouldn't be surprised if they immediately went inside to see what havoc we had caused. :)

And so we wait some more...

So the IUI was this AM. Johnny went in at 11am and I went in at 12pm. Or, at least I was there at 12pm... I didn't go in until closer to 12:20pm. I was getting nervous sitting there that something was wrong. But finally they called us so all was well. We went in and a new nurse (new to me) did the IUI. I didn't like her at all. Since it was my second IUI she just got right now to business, which is okay, but there was no caring or anything. Last time I felt like the nurse genuinely cared about me and the procedure and it working. This time the nurse made me feel like she just had to do her job and be out. (And through the rushing she made it hurt- a lot. I think, though, it was just because I was tense about not liking her much and not feeling comfortable with her.)

When she went over the numbers from the sample, she only talked to me and kind of blocked Johnny out, so I felt bad about that. The numbers were okay. Not as good as last time... motility and concentration were both low. (bummer) And last time there was something like 98 million. This time it was only 16.6 million. But that was still 6.6 over what they were looking for, so I guess it was okay. :)

So the test is schedule for September 22nd. Of course I'll probably home test on September 21st. :) Even if it's negative, I always like to know so I don't get so upset when I get the call from the random nurse at the drs office.

So that's all about that. School yesterday was exhausting once again. There is one child in particular that I cannot stand. Or rather, I can stand him, but he tries my patience (to put it mildly). He also got sent to the principal's office because I couldn't stand him. So that is that.

Just heard my poor brother- who is 4 hours away in NY visiting his girlfriend- woke up this AM to a tree branch having fallen on his car and breaking the windshield & denting the roof. The insurance company can't have it fixed until Monday. So, somehow, he has to drive home from NY with the broken windshield. He has more problems with his car than anyone else I know.

Saturday it is!

I forgot to mention last night that we had gotten good news from the blood work I had done yesterday AM. Apparently my levels are A-okay (though I'm still personally a little concerned about the lining because it was so thin and they didn't check it yesterday... a few cycles ago they actually delayed me by a few days because of the lining... or lack there of). Anyways, I triggered last night (or, really, Johnny triggered me...). The IUI is officially Saturday! We don't know what time yet because they don't make weekend schedules until Friday afternoon, but we should know soon. Back to my life of not cage fighting and slam dancing.

The first day of school was ... exhausting! I got to see my old kids in the AM. Ahh they're so cute! All the moms came and gave me hugs. It was great to see them. My new group seems okay. I know they'll never quite measure up to that fabulous group of last year (plus I had 11 girls and 1 boy last year so it was a bit calmer... I have 8 boys and 7 girls this year...). I'll have my new kids whipped into shape soon. Once they are, I'm sure I'll love them to death as well.

That's all for now... off to finish getting ready for the day and then off to school for Day 2.

Progress!!!

I mentioned a few posts ago that I have been incredibly lucky as far as timing is concerned. And my lucky streak continues (yes!). This AM I went in to the dr's. (And I went alone because the hubby left at 6 to start work... but he surprised me by meeting me there at 6:30!) The u/s showed 0 bigger than 10mm on my left (darn left sucks!). So I was a bit discouraged. But on my right there was 1 that is at 17.5mm! Woohoo! I have never had one that big on Day 12. Usually I have one that is growing, but it's at 12mm or 13mm. So I was excited. A little disappointing was that the lining was only 5.7mm. Not too good.

I got my call a few minutes ago and I have to go in for more blood tomorrow AM. But she said that most likely I would be triggering on Thursday night and going for the IUI on Saturday! Yes!! :) It works out perfectly. And even if my levels aren't quite up to snuff tomorrow I can always go in again on Friday and then I would still have the IUI on the weekend! :) So I am counting my lucky stars about this one. :)

Sleeeepy

The first few days back to school (either starting or after a vacation) are always tough for me. I always spend the first few nights SO tired. And that's where I am right now. EXHAUSTED. It's only 7:25 but I wish I were in bed already. I have a little bit more work to finish up and then it's beddy time!!

Tomorrow AM I have a 6:30am appt. at RSC. I'm hoping and praying that those fabulous follies have grown fabulously. :)