Three Days

So... today wasn't quite as productive as I had hoped it would be. Blood was easy as wanted... one poke and that's it.

The u/s wasn't quite what I had wanted though (though I know I had high expectations :)). I had the u/s tech that I don't like so much (or at least not as much as the other one I usually get). Every time I go this u/s tech asks "Have you ever been here?" Uhhh... yes, I have. The other u/s tech remembers me and jokes about how many times I've been there to be prodded by her.

Anyways, she didn't tell me the lining measurement (that's another reason I like the other u/s tech... she narrates the whole time), but when I got my call back today they said that everything looked "perfect" so I'm assuming the lining was okay. I can't quite remember the numbers anymore. I think on my right I had 1 follicle that was 12mm. And on my left I think I had two... one at 11mm and the other at 13.5mm. The 13.5mm might have been on my right... I can't remember. So, although I was hoping they'd be at like 20mm today, I guess I am happy with the numbers. I can't get too hopeful about the left side follicles, though, because my left side NEVER PRODUCES ANYTHING. Things always start, but they get too lazy to finish growing or something. :)

Our next day is Sunday at 8:45am. So, it is official, I have to tell my family. I'm going to have to leave camping at like 7:00am on Sunday AM. I am NOT looking forward to going for an u/s after being in the woods for two days, either. Grossss.

I went to school today from 8am to 3pm. I got a bit done, but there is still a lot to do. I'll go in next week probably. It's SO nice to have the whole school to myself. I've done so much laminating that it's ridiculous. I just wish the printer didn't jam after every paper. I did get a bunch of early-in-the-year work copied, so I'm ready. :) Bring on the kids.

And after leaving school I walked/ran/jogged around the pond. It took me just over a half hour... it was hot! I need to improve my running abilities big time! But it felt good to be out doing something! :)

Hoping as always

I'm just hoping that tomorrow's u/s proves eventful. I want 2 fabulous follicles. Yes, two. (I want twins badly) The perfect size with the perfect lining. I want an easy blood test... 1 painless prick that shows I'm ready to trigger. I want a call tomorrow afternoon saying "Ovidrel it up!" I want the IUI to be Saturday afternoon. I want it to go off without a hitch. I want the beta in 2 weeks to be positive. I want this to be over. (Though I know it will never really be "over")

I want a lot of things...

But for now I'll settle for some progress tomorrow AM.

Fingers crossed and wishing on stars and eyelashes. :)

Class Site

Visit www.freewebs.com/kindergartenstars for this year's class site! :)

Back in the swing of things

Woohoo! Tomorrow I get to go into school! I am so excited. I have been waiting for so long. My brother is coming up in the AM to help me. I have a ton of stuff to bring in, move around, and put away. I want to try to get most stuff done before vacation in two weeks. Then I can focus on curriculum and last minute things come the last 2 weeks of August. :)

I can't wait to get back in. I'll be sure to put up fabulous pictures of my awesome classroom.

Also, on a side note, I have decided that I really want to start running. I've never really been a good runner, but I've wanted to get into it for years. So, I'm going to start trying. Right outside of school there is a beautiful pond with a path around it. All around it's about 2 miles. It's a start. :) I'm excited. I'll keep updated. And right now I'm very motivated, so hopefully it'll keep up!

Weekend

Another weekend over. They go by too quickly! I know that's kind of a silly thing for someone with the whole summer off to say... but I still enjoy the weekends the most. That's when other people are off and when I can spend some QT with the hubby. :)

This weekend I went down to visit my family again. My mom needed to buy a dress for my cousin's wedding, so I went to "help" her out. Saturday night I saw "Step Brothers" with my brother. It was very, very funny at certain parts. Other parts made me cringe and some parts were supposed to be funny but weren't really to me. Today I met up with one of my teacher-friends. It's always good to see her. Then I came home and have been spending the rest of evening with the hubby. :)

I didn't end up letting my family in on our situation. I just don't know how to bring it up. So I haven't. But, like I said before, I need to let them know so this coming weekend is okay. I don't get why it's so hard for me...

Cycle 4 Begins

Technically I guess it began 3 days ago, but oh well. :)

Blood and u/s were fine. I have 11 follicles on both my left and my right sides. So I take 150mg of Clomid for the next five nights. Then my first day of monitoring is July 31st in the AM (Thursday). SO I'm thinking I will end up letting my parents know what is going on this weekend so when we sneak away over the weekend (which I'm sure we'll have to) they won't be offended.

:)

Grad School

As mentioned a post or so ago, I got into grad school. Woohoo. I had been putting it off for a little too long, so it's good to finally have started the process. Plus, I love to learn. So I'm very excited about starting and accomplishing something. I can see myself moving on and getting my doctorate in the future, so I'm excited to move on. I am completing an online program thru UMass Lowell, but this is only because we don't know where we will end up in the next few months/years. Though it'd be very convenient to attend classes on campus right now, I didn't want to be tied down in the future should things finally move along. So there we go.

I'm set to start in Spring of 2009. I'm going to try to take one class this fall which will be applied to my degree when I start the official program in the Spring. This is just so I won't feel like I'm not doing anything this fall. :) Plus, the pay raise associated with having some extra credits will be nice.

My only problem is financial aid. I'm pretty much banking on it-- we don't really have the ability to pay for all of the classes up front. So I'm going to fill out the FAFSA, but I think that I probably should have filled it out way back in the late-winter/early-spring even though I hadn't even applied yet. Soooo I'm hoping that I can get aid for this spring. If not I will have to get aid for Fall 2009. And we'll have to either just take out a regular ole loan, or just ask my parents to help us out. (Which I'm not too keen on doing...)

So that's the update.

Back to RSC tomorrow and I must say... although I'm looking forward to moving on and getting stuff done, I am not looking forward to the blood draws! :)

Time Flies!

I've been out of school for 1 month-- since June 19th. It's already been a month. I always find that, at the beginning of the summer, you always have huge intentions of doing so much. Plans to go visit friends you don't get to see much and plans of getting big projects done. It's crazy, though, how fast the summer weekends fill up. We haven't had a weekend without plans for months now... and it looks like August 22-24 will be out next free weekend. Craziness. Next weekend I'm shopping with my mom, the first weekend in August we're going camping, and then the next weekend we're going to Virginia for the wedding.

As I write this I'm having a heart attack. I just realized that, while I've been freaking out about the trip to Virginia for so long and it conflicting with monitoring and the IUI, it's not the trip I should be worrying about-- it's camping the weekend of August 1-3! We're camping that weekend as part of my dad's Father's Day gift. My first day of monitoring is going to be July 31st. Soo... "best case" IUI would be August 2nd when we're camping. But odds are I'd have to go back for monitoring over the weekend.

Sooo... what do I do? I cannot miss the camping trip... (not to mention the fact that we've already paid way too much for the campsites!). Ahhhhh. I really just do not know what to do... Johnny wants to tell them that we have to go up to his cousin's graduation party for a few hours. But I HATE that idea. I feel like it's basically saying "We promised we'd do this with you, but something else came up so we're going to leave you for a few hours to go see other people." I'd so much rather just tell them what's going on. I'd rather them know that we have a legitimate reason for leaving for a few hours, rather than just thinking that we don't feel like being there. But I have a feeling that Johnny would rather just use the party excuse or just say "Well this month isn't going to work." (His first response when I mentioned this was "Well, there's always next month." which was NOT the kind of reaction that I was looking for!)

So, the eternal question. What do I do? Why can't things just be simple!!!???

6 Things

1. Went to a wedding last night of one of Johnny's friend from HS. Had a great time! So much fun. We want to get married again.

2. Going to wedding #2 tonight. A friend of mine from BU. Excited.

3. Day 1- today. Commence hoping things go well!

4. Got into grad school! UML-Reading and Language. Spring 09. No idea when I'll graduate! :)

5. Got my hair cut really short yesterday. I like it... I think.

6. Ran into one of my kindergartners-soon-to-be-first-graders. She's so cute. I miss school like woah!

That's all!

Hoping again

I told you not all of this would be baby related. But, of course, some of it is.

Ah, so... this month has been a month off for us. We've been waiting for insurance to change and things went well with that. (The best part is that the prescription drug prices are sooo much cheaper on my insurance!) So, now we're in the wait for Day 1 so that I can start the fun of monitoring and clomid and all that. (I haven't missed it for the most part, but I liked feeling like I was doing something.) My last Day 1 was June 16th, sooo assuming my body is going to cooperate (it's always a question as to whether or not it will...) I should be getting my Day 1 soon (or a few days ago, really). So I'm waiting with slight cramps and the usual. Typically in the cycle they would have tested me already, so this evening I let myself take a HPT. Why do I let my hopes get up? It was negative (no surprise, really, but we haven't come up with a "good" way of checking the test without getting too let down...). So, though I'm not really surprised we're left in a bit of a dilemma.

If I don't start soon it looks like it will be cutting it VERY close for the IUI. We leave for Virginia on August 7th. So if you figure 9 days from Day 3 for monitoring (that's usually the day time they bring me in for my initial monitoring) + the 5-7 days it has taken for my eggs and lining to be ready + the 2 days after the ovidrel to actually do the IUI... it's close. At the short end it's 14 days if it all went perfectly (as in, my eggs were ready the day I went in for monitoring) and 21 days if monitoring takes the absolute longest it has taken. Assuming tomorrow was Day 1... the best case would be July 31 and the worst case would be August 7th. And that's just assuming that tomorrow was Day 1. Bleh. Waiting is the hardest part. :)

It's so frustrating that it's so unpredictable. I'm just hoping and praying and crossing fingers that Day 1 is tomorrow so we can get a move on. I'd love to do this first IUI before school starts.

~*~*~*~*~

On a random note, I have plans for my 30th birthday. :) (I just turned 24) Johnny and I love Jack Johnson ridiculous amounts (see a few posts before). Last night we went to see some awesome sand castles at Revere Beach. On the way home we were listening to Jack (as usual) and the song "Angel" came on. One of my favorites, though I had never REALLY paid attention to the lyrics. Johnny was really listening to them. And out of no where he says "I know! He's talking about having kids!" He skipped back to the beginning of the song and we listened...

"She could make angels
I've seen it with my own eyes
You gotta be careful when you've got good love
Cause the angels will just keep on multiplying"

So, with that, Johnny promised that by the time I'm 30 we'll have a few of our planned children and he will be able to sing that song to me at my 30th birthday. So I'm looking forward to it. :) ... Though I really wish it were that easy to make those angels multipy. :)


And a sample of the sand castle. This one wasn't from this year... but still very cool:

On a roll

I'm on a roll and I know that I should be sleeping, but I'm not. :) So... some LOVE...

What I love:
- My hubby
- My family
- Teaching
- Taking classes
- Australia (SYDNEY!!!)
- Hawaii
- Palm trees
- Surfing
- Sunsets
- Warm breezes
- Photography
- Sleeping
- Cuddling
- Sand castles
- New Hampshire
- Traveling
- Adventures
- Cheese
- Organizing
- Kids
- Pink
- Exotic accents
- Dates!
- Dancing
- Swimming
- Jack Johnson!
- BU


And good enough. I need sleep. :)

LOVE

LOVE to the max. My two favorite songs in one. What I would give to have gone there. :)

A change of sorts

That's it... I have decided to make this a blog about my life more than one about the craziness of fertility treatments. Obviously that will still be a large part of it... it's a large part of my life. But it's won't be the whole thing. There's more going on. :) And you know what? Although this whole fertility part does suck, my life in general is pretty amazing. I have the most amazing husband. I love him to death and have NO idea where I'd be without him. I have great friends and the best family. I love my job and really am just generally very happy. So here I'm going to stop with focusing on the one negative and instead focus on the positive. And maybe, just maybe, my negative will become a positive soon. But if not, I'll make it through. :) I always do.

So, I don't know if this will change really too much... but I feel different. :)

Green Light

We got the green light today to proceed with the IUI cycle. Basically we were told that they're not sure why we haven't seen more "action" (mature follicles and whatnot) on the left side, but not to worry about it. I always have a bunch of tiny follicles so it just looks like that side is "lazy".

As far as the next cycle, Anania gave us three choices. (1) We could either continue with a few more cycles of Clomid with TI, (2) we could do Clomid and IUI, or (3) we could move on to an Injectables cycle. As tempting as it is to move on to the injectables, we thought it best to try to IUI. We want this to work and we want it to work fast, but we don't want to go too quickly. So, we upped the Clomid to 150mg and I'll start with my next Day 1. I'm hoping that I DONT get it on my own- that I have to take provera because that will make it easier with the vacation in August. :)

Also, Anania really spelled out that it is all our choice. We can do 1 cycle with IUI or we can do 3 cycles. We can start discussing cycle 5 during cycle 4 if we can to change things up (like moving to injectables). It was just really good to hear... so I don't have to be too upset thinking we're "stuck" in something. But I am happy with our decision. And I've never been so happy to live in MA. SO much is covered in terms of infertility treatments. It really makes things so much easier and less of a stress.

And I noticed on my file today, my primary infertility is marked as PCOS. Apparently that's what she meant during her initial mumble-jumble. :) I've just kind of been saying that I had hormone issues. That's all for now.

Just an Update...

Tomorrow we're going to RSC... woohoo! :) It's just a meet-up with Anania, so I'm not expecting too much. But I am going to ask... whenever I go in for monitoring, it's always my right side that has the maturing eggs. My left side does absolutely nothing. Is this normal? So I guess that's my only question. Other than that we'll listen to her suggestions and move on to the next stage as usual. :)

I've been working on school stuff... look at the website! www.freewebs.com/kindergartenstars.

That's really about it. Sorry I'm so boring... not much is going on. :)

Obsessive

School starts up again in 2 months from tomorrow. (Sept. 4th) I can't stop obsessing about it, though! The day that school was over I worked on making things for next year. Now, ever since, I've been worrying about making new things (centers and things with names for the kiddies). I have this massive To Do List and this massive list of things that I need to buy.

Last night I worked on school stuff from about 9-midnight. Then at midnight I went to bed with the hubby. I sat there for awhile with my mind racing... then I had to get out of bed to make the class map I was thinking about and to write down all the things I was thinking about. Basically all I can say is AHHH. If this keeps up until September I will go CRAZY! :)

Insurance

So... I've finally gotten in touch with the Financial Coordinator at RSC. Check. I got the new referral going at my PC. Check. Looks like things are moving along and we will be ready for our appointment with Anania on July 9. And we'll be ready for Cycle 4. :)