Friday, March 1

Not unexpected

Surprise, surprise.  I didn't need to reserve judgement on my mother-in-law.

Her reasons for bailing on the shower?
1. She got the invite late and her feelings were hurt.  And I guess she got her bridal shower invite late (back in 2006) & also her other baby shower invite late (back in 2009).  And so her feelings have been perpetually hurt by this.  Because apparently we all have control over the mail?

2. My mom didn't check the date with her.  I guess in my Mother-in-law's family everyone checks every date before hand before scheduling a party.  So the fact that my mom didn't call ahead of time was a blow to her.  And if my mom did call ahead of time then she would have known that 2 of my MIL's sisters couldn't go to the party.  ?  So was my mom supposed to schedule and reschedule because of this?

3. "Tradition" states that you only have one shower.  And my MIL doesn't believe in multiple showers for the same person.  Which I get, but then why even bring up grievances 1 & 2 if your response would have just been "I don't believe in this"?

Anywho... I'm hurt.  Really hurt and honestly ready to say that this is IT.  I don't think I've said too much on this subject, but suffice to say that since I started dating Johnny she has come across as the most controlling and selfish person I have ever known.  It's bothered me and made lots of situations uncomfortable but it's Johnny's mom so I dealt (kind of).  I distanced myself and let Johnny visit a lot without me but I was always always civil when we were together.

But now I'm more hurt and really angry because she didn't just hurt me.  Instead she hurt my mom by saying that my mom was doing this stuff on purpose (mail?  seriously??), she stuck it to her unborn grandchild (whom you know she'll want to meet the second I'm out of the OR... yeah right... not now.  I don't want her there.  Period.), stuck it to my whole family, and made herself look like a complete ass in front of everyone.

Doesn't she realize that she looks like a complete child?  If you don't want to come, fine.  But if you have to, lie why.  Don't turn it into "I got the invite later than everyone else & you didn't talk to me first & you shouldn't be even having a shower."  And then don't not talk to us for days until you decide to call and say "Hey, do you want to get together this weekend?"  Because, yes, the answer to that one was a big fat no.

Well, enough on that one for now...


Baby sounded great on Wednesday.  Dr. K is leaning toward leaving the stitch in until D-day!  I'm so happy about that one.  I wasn't looking forward to the removal process & also I know that almost as soon as the stitch is taken out I'm likely to go into labor.  Sooo it will be nice not to really worry about it.  Of course I still have to be on the look out for contractions or blood.  Frequent contractions will lead to the removal anyways.... though the stitch tore a bit last time and I had zero signs, so this might not all keep it from tearing anyways.

I go on Thursday of next week for a growth check & EFW check.  It'll be the last ultrasound to recheck because of the two vessel cord.  (Still perplexing, but still also... oh well!)  Then I'm weekly after that.  I'm 35 weeks tomorrow.  35 WEEKS!

The countdown is officially on and I am so ready.


Robbie said...

Sad. Your mother in law might say that she doesn't believe in multiple showers for one person. Ok fine, but your family should supercede that belief, because in the end, not only does she look like all those things you mentioned, but more than that, she looks like she doesn't care about your baby. If I were you, I would just live life one day at a time, doing what's best for you and your babies and your husband. If your MIL falls into that picture, great. If not, that's fine too. There is no law that says you have to bend over backwards to include her in anything. If she wants to be a part of her grandkids lives, she will make the effort. If she doesn't, you will recognize that too.

Michele said...

That is really childish, in my opinion. I also dont believe in multiple showers for one person; that being said, if someone wants to throw you a welcome baby event, then you smile and accept it, and that is that. She's your MIL for goodness sakes! She can not agree with it and not offer to do it, but if your mom wants to and you want to let your mom, then that is your business and, as a happy grandma and decent MIL, if she can come, she does! I mean, dont throw it if you dont like the idea but dont be a pill about it. That is just awful!

And then turning it back on your mom for not checking with her, etc.... What does it matter if she (your MIL) wasnt handling the arrangements? She doesnt need to be checked with; she just gets an invite!