- I'm 26 weeks 1 day pregnant. I'm 1 week shy of when I had the boys. I cannot even fathom it.
- I am so tired and achy! With the boys & then the girls I was effectively off my feet around 23 (boys) and 24 (girls) weeks. So I've never been active this "late" into pregnancy and it's kicking my butt.
- Christmas was amazing and so much fun with Colby & the girls.
- The sicknesses that have followed have not been such fun.
- Colby came down with a horrible case of croup on Thrusday night and woke up at 1am on Friday barely able to breathe. He was so wheezy and retracting and just struggling in general. He's had croup before so I know the tricks of the steamy shower/nebulizer/humidifier/cold air, but after a few minutes I quickly decided that they wouldn't be enough. We called 911 and they came and took him to the hospital where they nebulized him 3 times in a few hours to no avail. They eventually gave him a dose of steroids that quickly did the trick. He came home after only a few hours, took it easy all of Friday and has eased back into things. Now he has a lingering cold, but the bark-y cough is gone.
- Sydney has an ear infection. She came down with a fever on CHristmas and then the next day when I got her up from her nap she pathetically said "I sick" to me. Poor babe. But her amox is already helping and she's back to herself.
- Zoe is fighting the same cold/virus that Johnny and I had, but luckily shows no signs of ear infection or croup.
- My mom got out of the hospital a few days after I posted last time. She was in for almost 2 weeks. Her levels are stilly shaky. In the first 2 weeks home her levels were low so she went in for an outpatient transfusion. They upped her potassium meds again and started the process of setting up a surgery to have a port put in for constant potassium. But of course, as happens, then her levels sky-rocketed again and she was left to play the "don't take anything" waiting game. So we'll see where that goes.
- The girls are still on bottles (I know!). My plan was to take them off the day after Christmas, but then they got sick so that seemed mean so they're still using their bubbas. And actually they used them more this week because they have been so draggy and sick.
- I passed my glucose test a few weeks ago so I'm in the clear with that. :)
Sunday, December 30
Bullet points
Let's see...
Saturday, November 24
Doing the same thing over and over
We've got a lot going on- nothing new there. But I'm kind of stuck and not doing anything.
You see, my mom's in the hospital. 5th time since February of last year. 3rd time in 1.5 months. She's been there since Monday of this week, so we spent part of Thanksgiving there. She was there for about 3 days back in mid-October. Then a week about 3 weeks ago. And now we're going on a week again. She's having mega-potassium issues. I didn't know much about potassium until her whole saga began- very abruptly and unexpectedly in September of last year. You have a normal range of 3.5 to 4.5 that you should have. 2.5 puts you in the hospital for IV potassium. Lower than 2 is rarely seen because it results in death due to the heart & breathing issues that it can cause.
Last year she was admitted to the ICU with a level of 1.8 and it took about a week to get it up to the acceptable range with bags and bags of Potassium. She was out and then she was fine from March to September again this year.
And suddenly she went down again- with heart papaltations and fatigue and general ickyness. Her levels were caught at 2.0 so she went to the regular floor instead of the ICU these times (which is nice because the kiddos can visit too). Last time she was there for a week it took all week to get the levels up then she started a new med designed to hold the potassium. And it worked great, but combined with the supplemental potassium it worked a little too good and her level sky rocketed to 6.0. High is also really bad because it can cause heart issues. Seriously, it's no win.
So they lowered her meds, but lowered them too much causing her to crash again to 2.0 and landing her back in the hospital. She is getting 8+ bags of potassium a day along with oral potassium but she can't seem to keep it in her body right now. THey can't figure out why. She went in Monday at 2.0 and now she's hovering around 2.6 depending on when they draw. It's so frustrating-- and I'm not even the one in there! They placed a PICC yesterday so at least she's not getting pricked for blood draws every 2 hours or having new IV's placed for the potassium every few days, but it's really starting to scare me. When you have a huge (HUGE) team of doctors scouring your charts and trying to figure things out for months and they can't get you to raise more than .6 in several days??? She's totally a mystery case and she's so worn out from the whole thing and I'm just plain scared. I'm hoping she can get a second opinion or move to a new hospital or something-- what's the saying about stupidity being doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? I feel like that's all we're at. They're pumping her full of meds and nothing is happening, but they just keep doing it. But at the same time, it's so scary to know that being at 2.0 (2.anything really) is so critically dangerous for your heart and she's just stuck there and there is nothing they can do. There's no magical treatment they have in their back pocket for extreme cases. She is just a total unknown.
So... just icky for now. At this point I hope they can just raise the levels, get it to stick, and then they can worry about figuring out the cause or disease or whatever it is causing this.
You see, my mom's in the hospital. 5th time since February of last year. 3rd time in 1.5 months. She's been there since Monday of this week, so we spent part of Thanksgiving there. She was there for about 3 days back in mid-October. Then a week about 3 weeks ago. And now we're going on a week again. She's having mega-potassium issues. I didn't know much about potassium until her whole saga began- very abruptly and unexpectedly in September of last year. You have a normal range of 3.5 to 4.5 that you should have. 2.5 puts you in the hospital for IV potassium. Lower than 2 is rarely seen because it results in death due to the heart & breathing issues that it can cause.
Last year she was admitted to the ICU with a level of 1.8 and it took about a week to get it up to the acceptable range with bags and bags of Potassium. She was out and then she was fine from March to September again this year.
And suddenly she went down again- with heart papaltations and fatigue and general ickyness. Her levels were caught at 2.0 so she went to the regular floor instead of the ICU these times (which is nice because the kiddos can visit too). Last time she was there for a week it took all week to get the levels up then she started a new med designed to hold the potassium. And it worked great, but combined with the supplemental potassium it worked a little too good and her level sky rocketed to 6.0. High is also really bad because it can cause heart issues. Seriously, it's no win.
So they lowered her meds, but lowered them too much causing her to crash again to 2.0 and landing her back in the hospital. She is getting 8+ bags of potassium a day along with oral potassium but she can't seem to keep it in her body right now. THey can't figure out why. She went in Monday at 2.0 and now she's hovering around 2.6 depending on when they draw. It's so frustrating-- and I'm not even the one in there! They placed a PICC yesterday so at least she's not getting pricked for blood draws every 2 hours or having new IV's placed for the potassium every few days, but it's really starting to scare me. When you have a huge (HUGE) team of doctors scouring your charts and trying to figure things out for months and they can't get you to raise more than .6 in several days??? She's totally a mystery case and she's so worn out from the whole thing and I'm just plain scared. I'm hoping she can get a second opinion or move to a new hospital or something-- what's the saying about stupidity being doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result? I feel like that's all we're at. They're pumping her full of meds and nothing is happening, but they just keep doing it. But at the same time, it's so scary to know that being at 2.0 (2.anything really) is so critically dangerous for your heart and she's just stuck there and there is nothing they can do. There's no magical treatment they have in their back pocket for extreme cases. She is just a total unknown.
So... just icky for now. At this point I hope they can just raise the levels, get it to stick, and then they can worry about figuring out the cause or disease or whatever it is causing this.
Sunday, November 18
One day I won't be so busy...
We're still all alive! Just busy and up to our eye-balls in more busy. Basically, busy. And any free moment I have, I want to be sleeping. But usually I'm cutting lamination for school or writing lesson plans or doing laundry. You all get it.
The girls will be 18 months this week. I can't believe it. Sydney is such a talker. Colby was an early talker which was a huge surprise due to his prematurity. Sydney is a twin, not the first child, and an avid passie user-- all factors that are considered to make for later talking. But she doesn't care. She can say pretty much anything and will repeat everything except her name and other people's names. Except Zoe, who we all call Bo Bo. She will yell "BO BO!" when she's trying to find her. She understands what she's saying because she's making connection between objects she sees and wants and uses words correctly. She will put more than one word together-- my favorite is when she says "Where is it?" which she will do when she can't find her passie. She also screams "Let go!" to Zoe. And will say "Hold this" when she's done with something. The other night I caught her on film yelling at Johnny saying "I want slush!" when he was eating slush and not feeding her fast enough. It's just crazy.
Zoe talks too, but not quite as much, though I noticed a big spike in her talking this weekend. She can repeat pretty much anything too, but doesn't choose to on her own as much. In general Zoe's quieter and more of studier. She'll work with little things for a long. She's also Colby's biggest fan and Colby has started to (slowly) accept her company when playing cars or trains. She's in heaven.
And Colby's Colby. Still super smart and cute. He's really "getting" things now. He can reason things out verbally to you so they actually make sense. His memory is about a trillion times better than mine (and he uses it against me regularly). He's really "getting" Connor now. We always would mention Connor when we saw pictures and when Colby would look at our stuff on the shelf in our bedroom. And we'd tell him he has a brother and all that, but now he gets it and brings it up at times that kind of blindside you. The other day he was telling me who his buddies are and he said something like : "Phoenix is my buddy. Logan is my buddy. And my angel Connor is my buddy." And he told Johnny the other night out of the blue in the car "Dada I'm not afraid of the dark, you know why? My buddy Connor is my angel and he comes down from the sky so I don't get scared in the dark sometimes. He makes me feel safe then he goes back in the sky cause he has wings."
And Baby #5 is good. I'm 20 weeks 1 day today. Everything is still going well though I'm still being monitored really closely. The best part so far is having Colby the age he is. LIke I said, he gets things and he really "gets" this pregnancy. He tried so hard to feel a kick this afternoon but kept missing them. He still thinks it's girl, but we shall see. :)
Alrighty, I'm ready for bed. Like I said. we're busy, but we're good. I have lots of cute pictures but they're on my laptop which desperately needs a charge. I'll upload them soon... maybe. :)
The girls will be 18 months this week. I can't believe it. Sydney is such a talker. Colby was an early talker which was a huge surprise due to his prematurity. Sydney is a twin, not the first child, and an avid passie user-- all factors that are considered to make for later talking. But she doesn't care. She can say pretty much anything and will repeat everything except her name and other people's names. Except Zoe, who we all call Bo Bo. She will yell "BO BO!" when she's trying to find her. She understands what she's saying because she's making connection between objects she sees and wants and uses words correctly. She will put more than one word together-- my favorite is when she says "Where is it?" which she will do when she can't find her passie. She also screams "Let go!" to Zoe. And will say "Hold this" when she's done with something. The other night I caught her on film yelling at Johnny saying "I want slush!" when he was eating slush and not feeding her fast enough. It's just crazy.
Zoe talks too, but not quite as much, though I noticed a big spike in her talking this weekend. She can repeat pretty much anything too, but doesn't choose to on her own as much. In general Zoe's quieter and more of studier. She'll work with little things for a long. She's also Colby's biggest fan and Colby has started to (slowly) accept her company when playing cars or trains. She's in heaven.
And Colby's Colby. Still super smart and cute. He's really "getting" things now. He can reason things out verbally to you so they actually make sense. His memory is about a trillion times better than mine (and he uses it against me regularly). He's really "getting" Connor now. We always would mention Connor when we saw pictures and when Colby would look at our stuff on the shelf in our bedroom. And we'd tell him he has a brother and all that, but now he gets it and brings it up at times that kind of blindside you. The other day he was telling me who his buddies are and he said something like : "Phoenix is my buddy. Logan is my buddy. And my angel Connor is my buddy." And he told Johnny the other night out of the blue in the car "Dada I'm not afraid of the dark, you know why? My buddy Connor is my angel and he comes down from the sky so I don't get scared in the dark sometimes. He makes me feel safe then he goes back in the sky cause he has wings."
And Baby #5 is good. I'm 20 weeks 1 day today. Everything is still going well though I'm still being monitored really closely. The best part so far is having Colby the age he is. LIke I said, he gets things and he really "gets" this pregnancy. He tried so hard to feel a kick this afternoon but kept missing them. He still thinks it's girl, but we shall see. :)
Alrighty, I'm ready for bed. Like I said. we're busy, but we're good. I have lots of cute pictures but they're on my laptop which desperately needs a charge. I'll upload them soon... maybe. :)
Sunday, October 7
High Risk
We had our first high risk appointment at the end of September along with our genetic testing. The NT scan came back at 1.7 and overall the genetic tests were all good.
But high risk... with the boys we saw the evil Dr. C. He's gone from the practice- though still around somewhere because we've seen him at the hospital- and from the beginning Dr. K has had very strong negative feelings about him.
Then with the girls we saw Dr. R- the one we had to constantly remind her of everything about why we were there and had to fight her for the cerclage with the girls. (We went 7 weeks longer- I'm thinking we did the right thing despite her textbook opinions) She's gone from the practice as well.
So, with pregnancy #3 we're still seeing high risk, but we were a little hesitant to meet another doctor. This time we were hooked up with Dr. A- the head of the MFM practice and also the head of something big at Harvard. He's kind of a big deal. And, well, third time is a charm. We love him. Not only did he agree with Dr. K that the cerclage was the way to go, but he obviously read our chart and talked to Dr. K about us before we got there. He had us run down our history, but he already knew it and was able to ask about important things. We just felt so comfortable with him and really felt that, for once, we were in the best high risk care.
Now, I'm all but convinced that Dr. K combined with Dr. A puts me in the best possible position we could be in. Full term baby? For the first time, I am finding myself daydreaming about having this baby and holding it in the recovery room and keeping it in my room and nursing from the start. I really think that they will both do their best in to keeping this baby where it belongs as long as possible. And this is the first time I've felt that way. :)
But high risk... with the boys we saw the evil Dr. C. He's gone from the practice- though still around somewhere because we've seen him at the hospital- and from the beginning Dr. K has had very strong negative feelings about him.
Then with the girls we saw Dr. R- the one we had to constantly remind her of everything about why we were there and had to fight her for the cerclage with the girls. (We went 7 weeks longer- I'm thinking we did the right thing despite her textbook opinions) She's gone from the practice as well.
So, with pregnancy #3 we're still seeing high risk, but we were a little hesitant to meet another doctor. This time we were hooked up with Dr. A- the head of the MFM practice and also the head of something big at Harvard. He's kind of a big deal. And, well, third time is a charm. We love him. Not only did he agree with Dr. K that the cerclage was the way to go, but he obviously read our chart and talked to Dr. K about us before we got there. He had us run down our history, but he already knew it and was able to ask about important things. We just felt so comfortable with him and really felt that, for once, we were in the best high risk care.
Now, I'm all but convinced that Dr. K combined with Dr. A puts me in the best possible position we could be in. Full term baby? For the first time, I am finding myself daydreaming about having this baby and holding it in the recovery room and keeping it in my room and nursing from the start. I really think that they will both do their best in to keeping this baby where it belongs as long as possible. And this is the first time I've felt that way. :)
Saturday, October 6
Tied Up
Thursday morning I went in for my cerclage. I went in incredibly nervous- but only for the spinal. I know I've mentioned it before, but I love my doctor. He just seems to really care about what happens with this baby and me and our family. And he was able to calm me down enough, so the spinal ended up going perfectly.
After I was already all IV'd up and numbed up from the spinal Dr. K decided to have me dopplered to check the heartbeat. Beth Israel is a Harvard teaching hospital so he had a resident with him who set about getting the heartbeat while he got all set. The resident tried for 5 minutes to get the heartbeat. 5 MINUTES. And couldn't do it, so then Dr. K came over and tried helping her listen while she still moved the wand. After a minute Dr. K took over the doppler and tried his hand at finding the heartbeat. After a few minutes on his own- and me panicking- he sent the resident to find an ultrasound to check. Almost as soon as she left Dr. K was able to find the heartbeat. Turns out it was a lot higher than expected- thanks to being so stretched from 2 sets of twins. :) But he found it and it was strong and that was all that mattered. I did tell him it wasn't funny at all.
In the end, the stitch went on well and almost exactly in the same place as last time. He said things looked good and it's nice to have this hurdle done. Next time I'm in the hospital I'm hoping I'm there to have a baby. :)
When I was leaving the OR he offered to call Johnny and let him know how it went. Have I mentioned how much I love him?
Anyways, recovery went well. I was just uncomfortable from the tingling and my back was hurting so I was just itching to get un-numb and out of there as soon as possible. Almost 4 hours later I was finally ready to go home.
All in all, I've felt pretty good the past few days. A little sore all around, but good.
But about my doctor. I wonder sometimes (a lot lately) what would have happened with Connor & Colby had I used him with them. Instead I had another doctor who went on maternity leave just months into the pregnancy and I was sent to see Dr. C- the evil high risk. I know there is no use in wondering. And there is no use in playing "what if". But knowing how Dr. K has been from the beginning of the girls pregnancy and on I just feel like it would have all be different.
But for now I guess I can just be happy that he's here to care for this baby and he was there to help get the girls to 34 weeks. :)
After I was already all IV'd up and numbed up from the spinal Dr. K decided to have me dopplered to check the heartbeat. Beth Israel is a Harvard teaching hospital so he had a resident with him who set about getting the heartbeat while he got all set. The resident tried for 5 minutes to get the heartbeat. 5 MINUTES. And couldn't do it, so then Dr. K came over and tried helping her listen while she still moved the wand. After a minute Dr. K took over the doppler and tried his hand at finding the heartbeat. After a few minutes on his own- and me panicking- he sent the resident to find an ultrasound to check. Almost as soon as she left Dr. K was able to find the heartbeat. Turns out it was a lot higher than expected- thanks to being so stretched from 2 sets of twins. :) But he found it and it was strong and that was all that mattered. I did tell him it wasn't funny at all.
In the end, the stitch went on well and almost exactly in the same place as last time. He said things looked good and it's nice to have this hurdle done. Next time I'm in the hospital I'm hoping I'm there to have a baby. :)
When I was leaving the OR he offered to call Johnny and let him know how it went. Have I mentioned how much I love him?
Anyways, recovery went well. I was just uncomfortable from the tingling and my back was hurting so I was just itching to get un-numb and out of there as soon as possible. Almost 4 hours later I was finally ready to go home.
All in all, I've felt pretty good the past few days. A little sore all around, but good.
But about my doctor. I wonder sometimes (a lot lately) what would have happened with Connor & Colby had I used him with them. Instead I had another doctor who went on maternity leave just months into the pregnancy and I was sent to see Dr. C- the evil high risk. I know there is no use in wondering. And there is no use in playing "what if". But knowing how Dr. K has been from the beginning of the girls pregnancy and on I just feel like it would have all be different.
But for now I guess I can just be happy that he's here to care for this baby and he was there to help get the girls to 34 weeks. :)
Sunday, September 16
What would you do?
We have a babysitter/nanny who we like. She loves our kiddos, is willing to come ridiculously early, and we pay her peanuts. It still ends up be a lot every month, but it's better than some alternatives.
Anyways, lately a few things have been coming up, but honestly I don't know how to bring everything up. Some of it isn't even big deal stuff, just stuff that'd make my life easier. But since she's here with 4 kiddos (my three and her 2 year old boy) I hesitate to bring anything up because it'd all just be more work.
For one, clean up. We have 2 toy boxes w/ shelves on top, a 9-cube bin organizer, 4 or 5 separate plastic bins of Colby's stuff, and then several larger toys (play tables, walker, ball pit, etc) all in our living room. We have things separated pretty well. The girls toys are in their toy box, Colby's are in his. Then in the 9 bins we have smaller toys & I have made hanging picture labels for all those bins to help Colby put things away. His plastic bins are the same way with picture cards on them to help him. The shelves above the toy boxes are filled with books. My point is that everything has pretty much been in the same place for the whole time she's been with us (since Feb. last year) and everything is picture-labled. Colby can tell you where something goes and he's amazing (and maybe a little OCD like Daddy) about putting things only where they go (and getting annoyed if cars and up with trains and so on).
But every single day I come home and everything is completely mixed around. Now the larger toys don't bother me, but when I find tiny Legos in the bottom of the toy box, or puzzle pieces hanging out in the block bins I get a little frustrated. I know things can get put places accidentally but it's an every day thing. It's like at the end of the day she just quickly scoops things up and then throws them in the nearest bin, so everything is completely random and every night I feel like I have to go through everything to separate the blocks again and the small baby toys and the balls and so on. I guess my main issues with this are that I know Colby knows how to put things away because we worked SO hard on that this summer so I feel like yes, she's the nanny, but she should be helping to teach him the right way. (Or continuing it in this case) My other issue is the small pieces. We have special bins for legos and puzzles and small cars to keep tiny pieces out of the way of the babies. They're getting much better at not eating everything, but I'm not aways home so it makes me really, really nervous.
Another thing that's bothering me is broken toys. There are always broken toys. I know (KNOW) my kids aren't perfect, but toys rarely get broken. If they do Colby brings it to me immediately (in general, I'm sure some have gotten past me). But almost weekly we find a broken toy somewhere-- lately they've been hidden behind the couch. But I think what bothers me the most is that she doesn't tell us about them or take care of the pieces. Which I guess leaves the chance that she doesn't know, but that raises the whole issue of why doesn't she know what's going on? And there are always chewed on books and DVD cases, too.
And meal times. She has a little boy who is just younger than Colby so I think she feels very experienced with raising kiddos- which she is. But I think that translates into her thinking she knows best. After the summer I had the kiddos on a pretty amazing routine which we needed with the girls. They'd eat around 8. They're down to 1 nap, so I keep them up in the AM- sometimes they get a little whiny, but they can be pretty easily distracted. Around 12/12:30 they'd eat lunch. Around 1/1:30 the girls would go down. They'd be up around 3/3:30 and then that'd be the afternoon. I explained this all to her when she came back in September, but every day lately I'm coming home and she's feeding them lunch at 3:30. And of course that means they don't really eat at dinner. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't really feel Colby meals. Instead he eats a lot of bread and cheese (which he likes)... but it's not a meal. With fruit and veggies. And they're (Colby and her son) always eating on the couch so we always have milk and squished cheese and broken crackers on the couch. I've mentioned that we're really trying to keep Colby to the table, but it hasn't seemed to change.
Lastly is something I know I can't control, but it's her son's behavior. If you're trying to get him to do something he doesn't want, he screams in your face & tries to hit you. If you pick him up, he will try to bite you. These are things I see him do all the time and Colby had never once done any of them. Until the end of August when I had the nanny and her son here for a few days while I set up my classroom. We're working on it and I know he'll pick up bad habits (and hopefully good) from other kids as he moves on to preschool and school in general. I know it goes with the territory, but right now with him in our house it kills me that he's picking these things up. It's just so frustrating when you can target where it's coming from and you're powerless to stop it. Colby realizes now after he says something he shouldn't and will usually give a quick "Sorry, Mama," but still.
And the last thing her son does is throw toys at Colby. I got home on Thursday and I was on the floor talking to Colby when L came over with a car in his hand raised over his head and looking at Colby. These two love each other, but Colby got hysterical. He started crying and yelling "No no no. Don't throw!" and tried to hide behind my back. His mom told him not to throw it, but didn't do anything. I ended up taking the car away from him and telling him that he can't throw things because Colby was so upset. Later on after they left Colby told me that L throws things at him. I can only guess that it's fairly often by Colby's reaction.
I'll stop there because I really do like her, but I'm nervous to approach her because I don't want her to feel like I'm attacking her and because I am nervous that she'll say "Fine, you don't like what I'm doing? I'm gone."
Anyways, lately a few things have been coming up, but honestly I don't know how to bring everything up. Some of it isn't even big deal stuff, just stuff that'd make my life easier. But since she's here with 4 kiddos (my three and her 2 year old boy) I hesitate to bring anything up because it'd all just be more work.
For one, clean up. We have 2 toy boxes w/ shelves on top, a 9-cube bin organizer, 4 or 5 separate plastic bins of Colby's stuff, and then several larger toys (play tables, walker, ball pit, etc) all in our living room. We have things separated pretty well. The girls toys are in their toy box, Colby's are in his. Then in the 9 bins we have smaller toys & I have made hanging picture labels for all those bins to help Colby put things away. His plastic bins are the same way with picture cards on them to help him. The shelves above the toy boxes are filled with books. My point is that everything has pretty much been in the same place for the whole time she's been with us (since Feb. last year) and everything is picture-labled. Colby can tell you where something goes and he's amazing (and maybe a little OCD like Daddy) about putting things only where they go (and getting annoyed if cars and up with trains and so on).
But every single day I come home and everything is completely mixed around. Now the larger toys don't bother me, but when I find tiny Legos in the bottom of the toy box, or puzzle pieces hanging out in the block bins I get a little frustrated. I know things can get put places accidentally but it's an every day thing. It's like at the end of the day she just quickly scoops things up and then throws them in the nearest bin, so everything is completely random and every night I feel like I have to go through everything to separate the blocks again and the small baby toys and the balls and so on. I guess my main issues with this are that I know Colby knows how to put things away because we worked SO hard on that this summer so I feel like yes, she's the nanny, but she should be helping to teach him the right way. (Or continuing it in this case) My other issue is the small pieces. We have special bins for legos and puzzles and small cars to keep tiny pieces out of the way of the babies. They're getting much better at not eating everything, but I'm not aways home so it makes me really, really nervous.
Another thing that's bothering me is broken toys. There are always broken toys. I know (KNOW) my kids aren't perfect, but toys rarely get broken. If they do Colby brings it to me immediately (in general, I'm sure some have gotten past me). But almost weekly we find a broken toy somewhere-- lately they've been hidden behind the couch. But I think what bothers me the most is that she doesn't tell us about them or take care of the pieces. Which I guess leaves the chance that she doesn't know, but that raises the whole issue of why doesn't she know what's going on? And there are always chewed on books and DVD cases, too.
And meal times. She has a little boy who is just younger than Colby so I think she feels very experienced with raising kiddos- which she is. But I think that translates into her thinking she knows best. After the summer I had the kiddos on a pretty amazing routine which we needed with the girls. They'd eat around 8. They're down to 1 nap, so I keep them up in the AM- sometimes they get a little whiny, but they can be pretty easily distracted. Around 12/12:30 they'd eat lunch. Around 1/1:30 the girls would go down. They'd be up around 3/3:30 and then that'd be the afternoon. I explained this all to her when she came back in September, but every day lately I'm coming home and she's feeding them lunch at 3:30. And of course that means they don't really eat at dinner. And I'm pretty sure she doesn't really feel Colby meals. Instead he eats a lot of bread and cheese (which he likes)... but it's not a meal. With fruit and veggies. And they're (Colby and her son) always eating on the couch so we always have milk and squished cheese and broken crackers on the couch. I've mentioned that we're really trying to keep Colby to the table, but it hasn't seemed to change.
Lastly is something I know I can't control, but it's her son's behavior. If you're trying to get him to do something he doesn't want, he screams in your face & tries to hit you. If you pick him up, he will try to bite you. These are things I see him do all the time and Colby had never once done any of them. Until the end of August when I had the nanny and her son here for a few days while I set up my classroom. We're working on it and I know he'll pick up bad habits (and hopefully good) from other kids as he moves on to preschool and school in general. I know it goes with the territory, but right now with him in our house it kills me that he's picking these things up. It's just so frustrating when you can target where it's coming from and you're powerless to stop it. Colby realizes now after he says something he shouldn't and will usually give a quick "Sorry, Mama," but still.
And the last thing her son does is throw toys at Colby. I got home on Thursday and I was on the floor talking to Colby when L came over with a car in his hand raised over his head and looking at Colby. These two love each other, but Colby got hysterical. He started crying and yelling "No no no. Don't throw!" and tried to hide behind my back. His mom told him not to throw it, but didn't do anything. I ended up taking the car away from him and telling him that he can't throw things because Colby was so upset. Later on after they left Colby told me that L throws things at him. I can only guess that it's fairly often by Colby's reaction.
I'll stop there because I really do like her, but I'm nervous to approach her because I don't want her to feel like I'm attacking her and because I am nervous that she'll say "Fine, you don't like what I'm doing? I'm gone."
Friday, September 7
Back to the grind! and 10 weeks!
This week we had 4 days of school - 2 teacher days and 2 days with the kiddos.
I have 21 first graders, though only 19 were there this week. One comes Monday and the other comes in October after her month long trip to India (! the first month of school?). It's been a pretty good "week" with the kiddos. They're chatty, but they're 6. And they're cute. I think we'll have a good year once I can get the constant talking under wraps.
But I caught a cold, so I struggled today. Colby & Syd had it Tuesday night when I got home. Zoe caught it Wednesday. And I started to feel it Thursday. I just want to feel better because I'm already tired enough without sickness thrown in!
Speaking of tired... I am so exhausted! I'm itchingly close to the second trimester... and I don't want to rush this because I do love being pregnant, BUT some extra energy would be amazing. I was a little chicken to tell my principal this week, but I really have to because my appointments are coming up fast and I'm already showing. A lot. Like in lunch line I was talking to my old first graders (now big second graders!) and one little boy touched my belly and said "How's your baby doing Mrs. J?" I played it off that he was talking about the girls, but he long since stopped calling them babies last year! And they're babies not baby.
This week I'll do it! :)
Cerclage is booked for October 4th. Bonus-- I'll take the 4th and 5th off which are Thursday and Friday. Then Monday is Columbus Day! Extra long weekend!
I have 21 first graders, though only 19 were there this week. One comes Monday and the other comes in October after her month long trip to India (! the first month of school?). It's been a pretty good "week" with the kiddos. They're chatty, but they're 6. And they're cute. I think we'll have a good year once I can get the constant talking under wraps.
But I caught a cold, so I struggled today. Colby & Syd had it Tuesday night when I got home. Zoe caught it Wednesday. And I started to feel it Thursday. I just want to feel better because I'm already tired enough without sickness thrown in!
Speaking of tired... I am so exhausted! I'm itchingly close to the second trimester... and I don't want to rush this because I do love being pregnant, BUT some extra energy would be amazing. I was a little chicken to tell my principal this week, but I really have to because my appointments are coming up fast and I'm already showing. A lot. Like in lunch line I was talking to my old first graders (now big second graders!) and one little boy touched my belly and said "How's your baby doing Mrs. J?" I played it off that he was talking about the girls, but he long since stopped calling them babies last year! And they're babies not baby.
This week I'll do it! :)
Cerclage is booked for October 4th. Bonus-- I'll take the 4th and 5th off which are Thursday and Friday. Then Monday is Columbus Day! Extra long weekend!
Sunday, September 2
Well, Hello there.
Oh, life. You're so busy. I had grand intentions of being better at writing all summer because I wasn't working... but then again, I was home with 3 adorable kiddos so I was really working so much more. BUT, let's see where we have been....
Last I updated was around Colby's 3rd birthday. He had a great birthday and is an amazing 3 year old.
We buzzed his hair a few weeks back. Or Johnny did after begging me to agree, but I wasn't too sure because I love his hair. But I gave in and he cut it and it was so short and I was a bit heartbroken. It's growing out already so I'm surviving.
The girls are both full-on walkers. They're in to everything. Syd's always on the go just wandering here and there, but in new situations she'll hang around and want to be held while she takes it all in. Zoe's more of the adventurous one. She's a climber and always exploring everything.
We've been spending a lot of time at parks and splash pads and outside enjoying the beautiful weather.
Last I updated was around Colby's 3rd birthday. He had a great birthday and is an amazing 3 year old.
We buzzed his hair a few weeks back. Or Johnny did after begging me to agree, but I wasn't too sure because I love his hair. But I gave in and he cut it and it was so short and I was a bit heartbroken. It's growing out already so I'm surviving.
The girls are both full-on walkers. They're in to everything. Syd's always on the go just wandering here and there, but in new situations she'll hang around and want to be held while she takes it all in. Zoe's more of the adventurous one. She's a climber and always exploring everything.
We've been spending a lot of time at parks and splash pads and outside enjoying the beautiful weather.
And me? Well, I've been a bit preoccupied with these kiddos. And the newest one due in April.
... I'll let that one sink in ...
We are amazingly, surprisingly pregnant and due in April. April 6th to be exact.
No IVF. No meds. Nothing. Except thrilled.
To back up... after we had the girls (and the boys at the time too) we said we'd try on our own (meaning no birth control), expect nothing, but plan on the next round of IVF down the road. We were thinking December 2012. And I haven't had a spontaneous period since... maybe before the boys? I haven't had a single period since having the girls. But I also didn't want to be one of those people on "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant," so even though the odds were seemingly zero because I don't ovulate on my own, I would test every month or so just to be sure. I never expected anything, but would always get my hopes up a little.
So in late July I asked Johnny to get tests one day on his way home. Again, I knew the odds weren't in my favor, but I was just feeling different so I let my hopes get up a little. I was breaking out like crazy, my back was killing, I wasn't feeling well, I was exhausted. You know, the symptoms that could mean just about anything. But I tested the night of July 24th and got the the faintest line. The kind that made me squint and ask Johnny if I was crazy. Still not sure, I tested a few more times over the next day or so and the lines got darker, so the 27th I went for blood work and it came back at 88 and my progesterone levels were good. I went back in on 30th and my levels had risen up over 300 and things were looking good.
At this point I was convincing myself that this couldn't really be true because we had been through so much and what are the odds? And all that. But I went in on August 13th for an ultrasound and found myself at 6w2d (because I had no clue because of not having a period). Then I went to see my doctor on August 24th and measured 8 weeks exactly with a good heartbeat. (HUGE sigh of relief)
We told my parents and one brother at about 7 weeks. I called my brother in Texas a little while later and then we told my other brother this weekend when we finally saw him. Mostly everyone was a little shocked, but happy. They might think we're crazy, but that's all okay. :) My oldest brother and his wife- I had Colby tell them that I had a baby in my belly and I got zero reaction from them. Nothing. No congrats, no questions, nothing. It was a bit weird. Johnny just told his parents this past weekend (9 weeks) and he told his brother tonight.
I go in at the end of Sept for a high risk consult to discuss a cerclage and whether or not I should be on preventative Lovenox this time around. My OB is doing a cerclage no matter what high risk says, but he just wants that second opinion. (I love my doctor... I could go on and on about that, but I won't) I might have to go on Lovenox because of that clot I had after having the girls. That one I'm not positive about, but I have a feeling I'll be on that after the cerclage.
That same day I also have my 1st trimester screening. Assuming all of that goes well, my cerclage will follow shortly and then a perfectly happy, healthy, fabulous *singleton* pregnancy will follow! :)
And with that, Colby's begging for Thomas videos on my computer.
Saturday, July 21
Three years
Three years ago on this morning I sat in the NICU cradling Connor's body.
The only words I could think of were "This sucks".
Three years later, those words are still so true.
This sucks and it hurts.
The only words I could think of were "This sucks".
Three years later, those words are still so true.
This sucks and it hurts.
Saturday, July 14
Good mother
There are those funny e-card things going around Facebook. Occasionally one makes me laugh.
Yesterday this one came floating across my home page.
No big deal. Kind of funny. And I shared it because I thought others would get a kick out of it.
Until I was smacked in the face with the fact that not all my kids are alive.
And it was just bad timing.
Yesterday this one came floating across my home page.
No big deal. Kind of funny. And I shared it because I thought others would get a kick out of it.
Until I was smacked in the face with the fact that not all my kids are alive.
And it was just bad timing.
Friday, July 6
Life is just full of busy
The kids are some awesome kids, I tell ya. And they're busy. I'm off for the summer, but still life is busy, busy. I try to do something "special" with Colby every day- usually an art project or something creative, but since these projects usually involve paint or small objects they take up the girls nap time. So in the end, the day is mine after he goes to bed around 8/8:30. Well, it's mine after the bottles are done and the laundry is washed and dried (because I can't lie and say I ever fold it) and the dish washer is loaded. You get the idea. :) And then I have the three (!!) family blogs to update (visit them! JamersonTwins, 365DayofColby and 365DaysofSydneyandZoe). And I'm addicted to TeachersPayTeachers because I'm determined to have an amazing year next year. And then there are scopes and sequences and beginning of the year projects. Oh, and the poor neglected hubby. And True Blood. Basically I'm at a point where I have pretty much zero time to update.
But things are good most of the time. Syd's pretty much a "walker". Zoe's not quite there, yet she took her first steps first. They like to bite each other. And they climb like monkeys. Zoe has a temper and Syd is much more laid back {if she has her paci}. Colby is full of spunk and is adorable and smart and loves to steal Syd's pacifier and just toss it across the room. (We're working on that one.)
They were all in my brother's wedding a few weeks back. It was such a great weekend filled with family, love, swimming... oh, and febrile seizure #2 just minutes before we were supposed to leave for the rehearsal. But we all came out okay. (Perhaps a little emotionally scarred because, if you haven't seen you child having a seizure, well, I hope you never have to.)
Colby pulled the girls in the wagon and did a great job despite being a bit under the weather. (It went something like- fever, seizure, more fever and zero other symptoms. Weird. And the girls caught the same fever over the past few days too- without a single other symptom.)
Colby was so proud of himself. He actually stopped mid-aisle to bask in the clapping as he pulled the girls. Then he spent the ceremony crying while Dada was holding him. Johnny took him off to the side and turns out all he wanted was Mama. Like I said, under the weather.
I love these two. My new sister-in-law Steph and my older brother Chris.
We all danced the night away. And Sydney spent much of the night in my mom's arms with my mom and dad. Can you tell I forgot the diaper cover for the diaper? :)
The next week brought my 28th birthday (28 on the 28th!). Then we spent last weekend in New Hampshire. Friday we were at the lake. Colby fished, we all swam, and we enjoyed a wonderful day with family. {Though the night brought 3 very overtired kiddos who didn't want to sleep from 1-3:30am and screamed and cried that whole time.)
Johnny's cousin's daughter. So good with the girls and Colby.
I was in love...
Saturday evening and Sunday we were at Santa's Village, also in NH.
This week brought the 4th. Reality tells me it will be a long time before I get a picture of the 3 of them where they are all happy and all looking. But I try nonetheless.
I only say things are great most of the time because- well, you know. Colby is three in less than 2 weeks and three years is hard. Just like every other day of life. It's just so long, so far, yet the memories are still burned in my brain. I mentioned shortly after we lost Connor that it was a nightmare and that I'd have flashbacks to the room and the beeping and just everything. And it's still there sometimes.
I read about others who have lost like we have and, at least in their writing, they seem so strong. And I'm not there and, really, I don't know if I ever will be. I contemplate going to see a counselor or just someone one the outside to just hash out the past few years, but I haven't brought myself there yet.
Until then... I have this to get me through the day to day...
Tuesday, June 26
First Birthday Party
As we planned for the girls 1st birthday it was a celebration of their first year- not so much the celebration of life that Colby's birthday had been. Instead of focusing on their milestones like I had with Colby (his timeline included things like "first day off the ventilator", "blood transfusion", and "head ultrasound all clear!") I instead focused on the cutesy details like personalized purple and pink owl onesies, tutus, and matching hair bows.
We had a big party, but it was Memorial Day weekend so a lot of people weren't around. The girls still had a blast, so it was still fun.
The invite-- from a seller on Etsy.
Shirts-- they were white onesies.
Zoe had a purple owl, pink wings, and purple writing.
Syd had a pink owl, purple wings, and pink writing.
Tutus
Zoe had a dark purple/light purple combo
Syd had a dark pink/light pink combo
All in all the party was a success -- the girls had fun, Colby had fun, we had fun. But I only took a few pictures-- woops. :)
All the "stuff"
 |
| Picture frame mats to sign |
 |
| I loved the owls :) |
 |
| Pinterest inspired-- the Pinterest one is a million times better |
 |
| Late afternoon so we only needed snacks |
 |
| Cake made by a friend's sister |
 |
| Birthday Girl ZOE! |
 |
| Birthday Girls SYDNEY! |
 |
| The only picture of the two *clean* that I got... |
Waiting for the CAKE!
A few family pictures first
"Smash Cakes" by the same person who made the larger cake
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)