Tuesday, April 19
Johnny & I : Where We've Come
Despite how annoyed (:oD) I sometimes get with the hubby, he really is an amazing guy.
We met in March of 2004- I can't believe it's been over 7 years! I was a Sophomore in college in Boston, not really looking for anyone. But there he was. :) On April 1, 2004 we decided to make it "official" and we were off and running. :) I had some cutie pictures of us from way back then but they're on my external hard drive and, well, I'm in the hospital. We were young and in love.
We were pretty much inseparable the end of that school year, all summer (1.5 hours apart), and into my Junior year. We spent every weekend together (give or take maybe 1 or 2) and usually 1 or 2 nights a week he would visit me at school.
He was my biggest cheerleader and in spring of 2005 I started applying to Study Abroad in Australia. I'd be gone for almost 4 months, but he encouraged me the entire time.
Another summer and I was ready to jet across the country and across the Pacific. I had to meet my group's plane in LA, so Johnny came with me to LA for a few nights. We stayed in the sketchy-est hotel ever (we obviously didn't know about the "good" and "bad" parts of LA when we booked it), got caught on a bus in the ghetto, Johnny almost got thrown out of LAX for screaming at the gate attendant... but the trip did have some highlights. But soon I was off across the world.
Our last meal together in LA...
I had the most amazing time in Australia, fell in love with the country, and dreamed of going back before I even left. Every day Johnny kept me connected with life back home as he sent me Daily Pictures. Sometimes they were things that reminded him of me and others they were just things (like his overflowing sink of dirty dishes). They always made me smile. (And wish he'd surprise me by jetting across the Pacific to visit!)
In mid-December I began the trek home from Sydney. My family met up with me in LA (they chose a better, less sketchy hotel area!) and we headed for home only to get stranded in Pittsburg due to a blizzard back home. Another night to add to the days apart. Finally the next day, December 10, 2005, on day 109, I landed in Providence and in Johnny's open arms.
A sweet-reunion in the airport
It was good to be back.
We spent the night with my parents and the next day we headed for Johnny's apartment. It was on that night, after 109 days apart, on December 11, 2005, that Johnny got down on one knee and proposed. I said yes (obviously!) and we got ready to begin the rest of our lives. (I have no picture from that night as I wasn't... um, dressed appropriately. Yes, I was wearing clothes though!)
We began planning the wedding- which was a feat in and of itself. We didn't agree on much throughout the whole planning process, but we eventually hammered out the details for our August 12th wedding.
Before our wedding, I graduated BU, got my teaching license, and in June we jetted off, back across the Pacific, this time for Hawaii! Johnny was the Best Man in his friend's wedding so we spent a week- 6 weeks before our wedding!- in paradise. We called it our Pre-Wedding-Honeymoon. After the trip we were down to the wire planning our day.
August 12, 2006 dawned as the MOST PERFECT DAY EVER. It was gorgeous and sunny and perfectly breezy and JUST the day we had hoped for when we gambled and planned and outdoor wedding. We walked through an arbor made by my dad, we were married by Johnny's cousin, we said "I do" in the afternoon breeze, and we danced the night away surrounded by friends and family. It was perfect.
A few days later we left on our mini-honeymoon, this time to Disney. We had a blast strolling through shops, hopping on rides (often cutting lines because of our Mickey & Minnie Wedding Hats!), holding hands down Main Street. We were just at peace.
When we returned we began our life... I started working, he went back to work, we made ends meet, and we had fun when we could. We were content. I would ask about babies- but we decided to wait a bit.
On Christmas Eve 2006 we decided we were ready. The pills went out and well, all that infertility stuff has been immortalized on here enough. It was hard.
THE night we decided we were READY
But we kept it together and never lost sight of why we were doing what we were doing. He held me over negative cycles and the miscarriage. He held my hand through blood draws and ultrasound and tests.
And he was there when Connor & Colby were placed back inside me. He was there through the ups and downs of the pregnancy-- from twins! and boys! to bedrest! and 27 weekers! Was it always happy and did we always get along? Not by a long shot. But he was there through it all.
And July 19, 2009. The day the boys were born he was the happiest I think I have ever seen him. He wore himself out worrying about me and the boys. Trying to be everywhere at once. Everything to everyone. But he did it. All the while he eased by fears that I caused everything to go wrong. He reminded me that it wasn't my fault.
Two days later as we were told that Connor wasn't going to make it, he held my hands, squeezed me tight and told me that we would make it through. Me, him, and Colby would stay together. We were strong enough. As Connor took his final breaths Johnny reminded me that WE were strong enough.
The next days and weeks were hard. I didn't know how to deal with everything. I broke down at random times for random reasons. I wanted to jump out a window and run away. I didn't want to live in a place where my baby died and I couldn't do anything about it. I didn't want to face what was before us. But he reminded me that we had to be strong for Colby. He needed us. Johnny needed me. And I needed him. There was a lot of fighting those first few weeks and months. I fought against everything-- I didn't want this to be our reality and Johnny fought hard for US. He could have easily given up in the beginning but he didn't.
And 109 days later on November 5, 2009, we brought our second miracle home. Life wasn't complete... it never would be. But it was ours and it felt... good.
This is pretty much the worst picture ever. I can't figure out why I chose this picture as my "Welcome Home Colby" picture on facebook!
And life has continued to be good. Yes, I would sometimes like a little more help without being asked and I would like him to come home some day and out-of-the-blue give me a back rub or send me upstairs for a nap, but those things don't really matter so much, do they? He loves me... I don't doubt it. I do fight it sometimes, but I don't doubt it.