Saturday, January 16

An update again?

We're doing great.  

Colby loves his hands.  

And his new ExerSaucer is growing on him.

We've been busy.  I can't really think of what we've been doing, but it's going by quickly.  I'm off from school until Mid- or End of March.  I know I am lucky to have that much time off, but I am very nervous about going back... although I know I have at least 2 months left.  :)  There aren't many people I will feel comfortable leaving Colby with.  I know I'll be comfy with my mom watching him because I know that she will take into consideration my feelings about everything and do things "my way".  (Not that I'm a huge "my way" person, but I take comfort in knowing that she understands that I'm the mom and will listen to my opinions.)  My mom can only do 1 day because she lives a ways away and she's still working full time as a nurse.  I'd love it if we were closer to her so that I could see her more and she could take more days.  So I'm nervous about finding someone.  With Colby's lung disease and prematurity we're looking for a nanny to come to the house.  (Though, even before the boys were born we had always planned on having someone come over.)  We haven't really started looking yet (procrastinate?) but we'll get there.  :)

So, while going back to work worries me, I love my job, I miss my students, and I miss teaching.  Being a mom has always been my number 1 goal.  Other little girls dream of their weddings.  I never did, I always dreamed of having kids.  Lots of them.  :)  But, having kids early, buying a house, and being a teacher-- we always knew that I'd have to go back to work.  That was the compromise of starting our family early (we started trying when I was 22).  We could have started in a few years and I would probably be able to stay home from the beginning but I wasn't willing to wait.  So... we'll make it work.  :)

Have I mentioned how much I love being a Mommy?  I can't even explain how much I love it.  Yes, I'm tired a lot.  Yes, I feel like I'm always washing bottles, making formula, changing diapers, and doing laundry.  But, I LOVE it.  I hate doing my own laundry.  I usually leave my clean clothes in a laundry basket for days before finally hanging them up.  I put dishes off as long as possible.  BUT.  I love doing Colby's laundry.  I love hanging up his clothes.  I love having a shelf full of ready made formula.  I love having a row of freshly washed bottles.  Every smile, every laugh, every cuddle makes it worth it.  

AND I can't wait to have my next baby.  I miss being pregnant more than I would have ever thought.  I look back at belly pictures and remember the feeling of rubbing my hand over my stomach.  The feeling of kicks and squirms.  Only near the end of the pregnancy were the babes big enough for me to really feel elbows and feet and heads from the outside.  I remember one night where one of the boys stuck his foot out and I pushed it back in.  I miss those feelings more than I can express.  I am so ready to start the process again.  (And again, and again, and again.  :-P)


Shinejil said...

He's like a little executive there in his saucer: "Send in my next appointment!"

What a cutie!

May you get your wish for more belly moments...

Michele said...

I agree wtih Shinejil- SUCH a cutie!! We are getting Bobby and Maya and exersaucer. I love seeing Colby in his- adorable!