Thursday, September 17

1 month...

I'm 1 month away from my due date.  

Holy cow.  But I can't imagine my life without Colby right now.

Though, of course, I wish Connor were here too.  Luckily it wasn't my decision to make because I'm not sure what I would do.  I don't think I'd trade being here with Colby for anything, but who knows...  if I could be guaranteed two happy, healthy boys in a month maybe I would have given up these past few months... 

My life has become a series of milestones relating to the boys...

I count the weeks since they were born
The weeks since Connor passed away 
The weeks since Connor's funeral
The weeks since I was put on bed rest 
The weeks since we found out they were on their way
The weeks sine we found out they were boys
Their gestational weeks
The months since they were born
The months since Connor passed away
The months since Connor's funeral

In some way every day has become a milestone.  Some good, some bad.  All relating to my precious little guys.

Oh, and don't start a conversation with me by saying, "You know, I had O. very early too.  I had her at 35 weeks and her only problem was she was really skinny.  She was weird looking, you know?"   Yes, I was told that by a parent in my class.  What I wouldn't have given to have 8 more weeks with the boys.  The could have been as skinny as they wanted, as long as they were healthy.

But then again... that'd be 8 less weeks that I knew them on the outside...  Again.  Luckily nothing was up to me.

1 comment:

Michele said...

I really REALLY hate when people downplay prematurity. I hate it. It's like they really dont get it. 40 weeks isnt a suggestion; it's a needed time of growth. And I also hate when they compare a 35 weeker (technically preemie) to a 24 weeker. Those 11 weeks make a HUGE difference. Huge.