Tuesday, December 20

Back to Work

I have been back at work for 2 days.  I am tired.  :)  I get up at 5am to have time to pump and shower and get things squared away.  The nanny gets here at 6:30 and I leave around 6:45 to avoid too much traffic.  I  get to school around 7:15, the kids get there at 8:15.  I get through the morning and then I pump at lunch time.  By then I'm dying.  But then I get through the rest of the afternoon and pump before heading out the door.  I'm home around 3:30 with the kids, play, and get dinner ready.  Then it's baths if it's bath night or more playing if it's not.  The kids are all down around 8, then it's clean up and pump and school work.  By the time I'm ready for bed it's about 11 with one last pump session.  Then it's lights out with lots of wake ups with the girls.  The first night I was up 8 times and last night it was 9 times.

I'm so tempted to throw in the towel with pumping.  At school there is no place for me to go, so I hide in the corner of my room and since it's so long between sessions I ended up spending my full 50 minutes pumping, so I get nothing done at lunch time.  And I feel like I spend more time pumping in the evening than I get to spend actually playing with the girls and Colby.  And then I'm up pumping around midnight and then 2 and then 5, so it limits my sleep even more.  (Though I'm usually up with the girls anyhow)

BUT my goal was 10 months because that's how long I have the pump for free.  And I do like knowing I'm providing for the girls 100%.  And it's only a little more than 3 months away so it's doable, right?   So I just don't know what to do.  I'm afraid that school is going to really cut into my supply anyhow, so in the end I might be killing myself for nothing really.

Oh well.  Point is, we're adjusting.  I have 2.5 more days this week then it's vacation until Jan 3rd.  Then it's back full time at which point my class really needs to be whipped into shape.  It's a tough group behaviorally and academically and the sub did her best, but she was really just winging it.  They write worse than my K class did in terms of both content and handwriting, so I have to tackle that.  They have no real set schedule so I have to do that.  There is no behavior management system so I have to tackle that.  Basically I feel like I'm going to have to treat it like the beginning of school all over again & take the next 4-6 weeks establishing routines (like no talking and wandering around the room).  I can take academic struggles any day, but the blatant disregard for proper behavior?  That I cannot stand, so we'll hit that big time.


Ashley said...

Honey, I know you have a goal set for 10 months but I would give it up:( I know it would be sad but it would help you soooo much more!! You could do more at school during your planning time which would mean less work at home. You would sleep more which I think is crucial to being a sane mommy!! You would also have more time to spend with the kids. I say give it up. I don't know how you did it for this long with no sleep...I would have given up a long time ago!! Good luck!!!

Leah said...

I'm exhausted just reading about your day. Wow!

I hear you about the pumping. I was lucky that when I went back to work there was a room really close to my desk called The Mother's Room. Stocked with a comfy couch, a sink and a fridge for stored milk. But it was still hard. And you having a classroom full of kids obviously cuts down on your flexibility. I hope you get into a great routine. You are seriously super Mom! :)

sunflowerchilde said...

I'm sorry it's so hard and stressful! Your daily routine sounds exhausting to me, I don't think I could do it. I hope you figure out a way to handle it, or make peace with giving it up ... you've done a great job!