Cerclage Date

So I got the letter that my cerclage is scheduled for January 6th.

Gulp.

Why am I so nervous for that?!

Anyways... can anyone give me information about what to expect? :)

First OB Appointment

This week has flown!

Today I had my first post-graduation OB appointment. My last OB quit in July to spend time with her son, so I had to switch to the other OB in the practice- Dr. K. And let me tell you... I LOVE HIM. (Much more than my old OB which is a big thing because I really liked her too!)

I had met him briefly while on bedrest back with the boys and immediatley liked him-- he actually was the doctor who came in after reviewing my results and told me that I could go home at 28 weeks. :) (He wasn't the one who did the exam though, and he was just reading results, so I'm not holding anything against him.)

We were with him for OVER a 1.5 hours. He was so concerned with getting our history right and going over our "game plan" for this pregnancy. (Because, well, the last pregnancy + twins this time = extrememely high risk and precarious.) He checked everything out and gave us another ultrasound (yes!). (Both babies are still looking great, right on target for 8 weeks.)

Our next few weeks look like...

Dec 7th meet with a NEW high risk doctor in Boston. (He is NOT a fan of my old high risk doctor! He wouldn't say anything directly degrading, BUT he immediately said that we would not being going back to him under ANY circumastances... as far as I know the old Dr. C won't be allowed near me no matter what.)

Dec 23rd we have the 12 week screening in Boston

Jan 3rd we meet back with Dr. K to go over results and get the ball rolling for our plans

Then pretty much any time after that the cerclage is being placed... he's aiming for 13-15 weeks, so we'll see when that happens.

Basically I just feel so comfortable with him. He made it very clear that there are no guarantees, but he will do everything in his power to get us to a safer place. (His aim for now is 30-32 weeks.) He also said that we'll love our new high risk doctor and that the practice is just phenomenal. So, I'm excited... we're just in a good place.

And interestingly enough... he made it sound like, if we got far enough, VBAC would be an option. He said that my Csection incision WASN'T the kind that makes it an impossibility. (This is the complete opposite of what my old OB had said.)

Ultrasound

two

A lot excited and only a little terrified. Not of having two, but of getting two here safely come July.

We got a ton of pictures of the two perfect babies. Perfect size, perfect heartbeat, perfect in every way.

Start those prayers coming.

Soooon!

This time tomorrow we will know how many we are expecting! I am super excited! (And a little terrified!)

11am can't come fast enough!

Check back tomorrow!

Lightning

So, I just googled the most times that someone has ever been struck by lightning.

Seven.

In 35 years Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning 7 times.

That doesn't make me feel better.

See, as I get further into this pregnancy (though I'm only 6w4d if my calculations are correct) and the nerves and fears slowly creep in, so do the questions. Those stupid What Ifs I have been battling for long before I even got pregnant with the twins... though they have changed shape over the years...

What was I thinking putting two back? What if the same thing happens this time? What if I lose a baby again? What if I go in on Monday and there is no baby? What if there is no heartbeat? What if I'm forced on bedrest away from Colby? What if I endangered a baby because I put two back? What if... what if... what if???

So then I try to convince myself that none of that will happen. This will go perfectly because lightning doesn't strike twice. Bad things can't always happen, right? We've been through enough, it's time for a break.

But then Roy Sullivan was struck by lightning 7 times. Those are pretty small odds.

And we've been through a lot too... against the odds. The odds of us battling infertility at 22 and 23 respectively? The odds of having twins? The odds of such early bed rest? The odds of such early labor and delivery? The odds of losing a 27w1d old 2lb9oz baby?

All against the odds.

So why couldn't it all happen again? Why couldn't things go terribly wrong?

It's not like everyone has a limit of bad things in their lives ... that once you hit the max (oh, like losing a baby...) your bad meter is turned off and life is sunshine and rainbows forever after.

So I'm sitting in a precarious place. A place where I am so incredibly thrilled and in AWE that I'm pregnant again. Colby will be a big brother. We will be building our family just like we want. But it's also a terrifying place where I feel like it's just a matter of time before the other shoe drops and all hell breaks loose.

Because that's what happens, right?

So I'll stay inside to avoid the lightning.

Beta 3

Alrighty... beta doubling concerns are gone.

Day 15, 10/29: 730

Day 21, 11/1: 3,445 (doubling of 2.68 days)

Day 28, 11/8: 34,829 (doubling of 2.1 days... though it should have been slowing down by now)

Ultrasound is Monday at 11am.

I. CAN'T. WAIT.

One Year Later

One year ago we walked into the NICU for the last time as patients (ever hopefully).

109 days after the boys were born, 107 days after losing Connor, it was finally time to leave.

We unhooked the monitors for the last time and donned Colby's Daddy-picked-out Coming Home outfit.

We said good bye to some of our favorite nurses.

We strapped him in his new car seat.

And headed out--

Headed for home.

To a lifetime of...

And...

And...

And...

And...

Here's to a wonderful year, Buggaboo.

You've been the best part of every day, every minute, every second.

We love you to the moon and back-- and back again!

Beta #2

I'm totally bummed about Beta #2. I'm not trying to be too upset by the slower doubling (something like 2.68), but it's hard!

On the 26th (15dpo) it was at 730

Today (21dpo) it's at 3,445

Last time at 16dop I was at 658

And 22dpo it was over 8,000.

I know I can't really compare the two, BUT...

We go back the 8th for more blood. That's too long!