Thursday, October 20

How did you manage sleep?

It's no secret that Colby's sleep habits are... lacking.  I know it's totally my fault... I refused to do any sort of crying tactics with him because (1) he was my itty bitty NICU baby (2) with lung issues I didn't want to risk any asthmatic-type episodes (3) he can throw up when he cries too much and (4) I can't bear to listen to him cry.  So instead we had a pretty good routine which worked.  He went to bed easily in his crib, woke up maybe once or twice, but I could get him back down.  Then the routine was rocked when I had the embryo transfer and then it was completely thrown out the window when I had the cerclage and couldn't pick him up like I used to.  So he started sleeping in our bed for part of the night.  Then he started only sleeping in our bed.  And sometimes he goes to bed in 10 minutes and sometimes it's more like an hour.  And I have to be there.  I know I have to change this, especially if I want to stay sane once I go back to school, but I'm not entirely sure how.

He naps pretty well... he goes to sleep on his own and I don't have to be right there.  He'll stay down for 1.5-3 hours depending on what we did that day.

The girls go to bed around 8 as well.  They can wake up a few times before they're truly settled, but I think this is more because they get startled (why do I always drop pans and toys when they're sleeping?).  They sleep really well... they wake around 12:30-1:30 and then again at 5 and then we're usually up around 7 for the day.  They can put themselves to sleep and often they do fall asleep on their own because I have to deal with someone else who is screaming bloody murder.  They take 3 naps usually... 2 shorter naps of 30 minutes to an hour and one longer nap of 1.5 hours to 3 hours.

So... I know I have to shake Colby's habits up.  It will be a slow transition because I will not do any crying techniques.  If they worked for you, great.  :)  But I'm not up for that... especially because he pretty much throws up any time he cries super hard now.  (I think he learned that it's a good defense mechanism and he will make himself gag to throw up while crying.)

I'm just curious how you got your kiddos to sleep how they do?  (Good or bad)  I know some people used CIO techniques, but I'm assuming some other people didn't.  I'm more curious about the non-crying techniques.  :)  

And for the record, I really am not judging anyone who has done cry-it-out.  I'm just not strong enough for that... I'm actually a little (or VERY) jealous that you have kiddos who can sleep!  :)


sunflowerchilde said...

I won't be helpful, because we did use CIO. A few other things that helped, though, are having a bedtime routine and very strict time for sleep and naps and not ever changing it. A schedule was totally vital for me, and made a big difference, along with a predictable routine. I've heard of a lot of other methods that don't involve crying, but many sound too time-consuming for us, we are already so short on time as it is. But you're right, CIO is NOT fun.

juliane2004 said...

We did CIO when we got rid of the swaddle but other than that, we don't use CIO because we don't have to.

We watch the clock like a HAWK. From day 1 home from the hospital (day 6 of life) for my son, we put him to bed after a certain amount of awake time based on his age. Now at 10 months, he naps after 2 hrs 15 minutes of awake time. We put him in his crib, turn on a music thing, and walk away. No crying, since day 1 from the hospital.

We did the same for my daughter, but didn't start until she was 11 weeks.

My kids go to bed at 8 pm or so, and sleep till about 9 am. My 2 year old never wakes up in the night. My 10 month old MIGHT wake once at 9:30 pm (shortly after going down) but that's it.

I found this to work best under 1 year old (so for your girls).

Here's the guideline if you are interested:

Guideline for Awake time for babies
0-4 weeks: 30-45 minutes
4-6 weeks: 40-60 minutes
6-8 weeks: 40-70 minutes
8-12 weeks: 50-80 minutes
3-4 months: 60-90 minutes
4-5 months: 1 hr to 1.5 hrs
5-6 months: 1.5 hours
6-9 months: 2 hours, give or take 15 minutes

juliane2004 said...

ETA: if we wait for sleep signs (like yawning), I've found my kids to be OVERTIRED by then and they don't sleep well and wake up a lot. This is why we watch the clock so closely.

Catherine W said...

Aw Stace. I never did CIO with Jessica either. We rocked and/or fed her to sleep every single night until we was about two. Then we decided to just bite the bullet, read her a story, give her a drink, walk her up the stairs and put her in her own bed and say 'it's time to sleep now' and shut the door. It worked! But these things must be done in the same way, at the same time every night. If we miss out any of the stages she gets in tizzy! She didn't cry, just goes to sleep or plays with her toys. Do have to say that she is INCREDIBLY independent and not hugely keen on either of her parents.
If Colby can go to sleep on his own perhaps you could try it?

Michele said...

We are AP folks and anti-CIO. Bobby and Maya are a month younger but were born at the same gestational age, and we had similar worries about CIO (even if we werent against the philosophy in general which we were). Have you tried the No Cry Sleep Solution? There's one for infants and one for toddlers. It saved us... In less than 2 weeks... I honestly dont know what we would have done without the toddler book. Ours went from perfect sleepers to 17mo-19mo horrible sleepers. Once I got this book and we implemented some of the tools, ah how things improved...

And then, although we thought we were doing great, once they got their step 2 loft beds they improved even more!

svallely said...

So we have a napping issue at our house. Ty pretty much naps whenever he wants for however long he wants.. but night time sleeping for us goes really well. Like one of the other posters said, we have a routine. 1st let me say, if Ty didn't have to be elevated (still!!!) we would most likely bed-share, and 2nd, we don't want to do CIO either. Could you co-sleep with Colby in your room and not bed-share? Put a mattress on your floor and you lay with him until he falls asleep. Then when he is out, you can get up and do things. But by the time Colby gets up, you are right next to him in your bed? He has a great attachment to you, so having you right next to him might be enough. With Ty, his RNP is right next to our bed and when he wakes up, he can see us. For the most part, he goes to bed at 8 and sleeps until 5-6. Occasionally, he gets up around 2 to eat, but he literally eats and falls asleep in my arms. Our routine is that: 1. We don't put him in his "bed" in our room until it is time for bed, so that he associates that place with sleeping at night. 2. We give him a bath (every other night) and a mini massage with sleepy time lotion. 3. We make a really big, nice, warm bottle. 4. We turn down all of the lights, put the TV on, and keep the room pretty dark. 5. For BJ, he puts him in his RNP and feeds him in there and he just falls asleep. For me, I position him on his side on my chest reclining and feed him that way. He usually falls asleep eating and then I transition him to his RNP.


Katie Hale said...

I also had a two year old who we couldn't get out of our bed (and that I also had to be next to in order for her to fall asleep!). I found the book "The No Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers" really helpful. The techniques that work with babies don't work with toddlers, that's obvious of course. Now she is in her own bed and goes to sleep completely by herself. It took us several different approaches to find the routine that worked for us but we found it and she is doing great! Just don't give up and be consistent. As you know, two year olds are incredibly smart. They will find any loop hole they can to not have to change their habits (like you said with the throwing up). Good luck!