Maybe...

... Next Month ...

You get the idea.

:)

I'm impatient.

HPT = One Line

Bummer.

I'll know the official results in 2 days. I'm just too impatient.

Life goes on.

P.S. I love my hubby even though he annoys me to no end. :)

It's a Love/Hate Thing... (and 101 posts) (and this makes 3 for today)

When I left the IUI today I got a sheet with instructions for the next few weeks. Really, the only instruction was to come back on 8/18 for the beta. Sooo I realized that they didn't mention progesterone support and when I filled my prescription I was given progesterone suppositories. So I called my nurse coordinator to ask about them and whether or not I should take them. This is where the hate part of the love/hate thing comes in.

The nurse coordinator called me back and said that with IUI's they don't prescribe progesterone supports unless there is special circumstances. So she said that I should just hold on to them incase they tell me to take them should (fingers crossed) this cycle work and my progesterone levels come back low. And I was ready to take that answer, but first asked, "So, although I've used the support every other cycle, I shouldn't use them this time?" She then seemed surprised about that. So it was then that she finally decided to check my file. And sure enough, in plain English Anania (my RE) had said that I should be using the support starting with the day after the IUI. So I'm a little annoyed that she was going to give me an answer without even looking carefully at my file. Who knows what it will do- if anything- but I would have been annoyed if I didn't do everything I could/should have because the nurse coordinator didn't take the time to carefully look at my file to answer my question.

Then, somehow the date of my beta came up. She asked what day it was and I said it was Aug 18th. She then asked if I was sure because it should be Aug. 19th. It very, very clearly says on my instruction sheet that I should come in the 18th for the beta. But the nurse coordinator decided to overrule the instructions of the nurse who did my IUI. So I'm going in on Aug. 19th. I know it's only a day, but I'm a little bummed about it. I'll probably still take a HPT on Aug. 18th. :)

So, although I love the nurses, my RE, and the clinic in general, it does things that make me want to scream. But I also know that I build them up as huge problems when they're really no big deal. I've just been an emotional wreck today. My poor hub-ster.

IUI #1 Completed!

Woohoo. So we did the IUI this AM at 9:30am. Johnny went in at 8:30 and I hung around until 9:30am. He came in the room with me (does anyone else's hubby's always go in the room for blood, u/s, etc.?).

The nurse we got was super-duper excited/talkative/happy. She was great. She explained everything and went over all of the numbers. (The sperm numbers were all really good. She said overall they look for 10million and the sample had something like 92million.) Things looked good. Nothing of concern, so we're hoping things will work. :) We just need one!! :)

As for the IUI itself, it went fine. I'm pretty crampy right now. Not quite as bad as I was for the HSG, but still pretty uncomfortable. It was pretty effortless. She had to bend the catheter a bit, but nothing major. Then I got to hang out for 15 minutes with my butt in the air. While I was hanging out Johnny went through every single drawer and cabinet in that place. He offered to take a syringe for my scrapbook. :) I declined.

So that's that. The pregnancy test is August 18th. Woohoo. I calculated the date wrong when I was calculating it... I forgot to calculate, not from today but from the HCG day. So, less than 2 weeks and we will know. :) Finger crossed.

Oh and I was told not to begin any high-impact exercise over the next few weeks. As I was told, no slam dancing or cage fighting. Good to know. But what am I going to do with all the extra time now? :)

Tomorrow's the day

I feel like I might be making a bigger deal out of this IUI than I should, but I am very anxious for it! Not for the actual procedure. I've spread-eagled for too many people in the past year to be nervous about the procedure. I'm just anxious for the results... I know they're a long way away, but I am just so freakin' hopeful about this cycle. Cautiously hopeful, but hopeful just the same. I've learned that it really won't be the end of the world if it doesn't work out. I've learned that I still have the best hubby in the world no matter what. I've learned that I have lots of people that really care about me. And I've learned that I have a lot going for me. But...

And we all know where I'd be going with that but, so I'm going to leave it at that. Crossing my fingers and diving in.

If this cycle works out, fantastic. Exactly what I wanted and I'll be thrilled. But if it doesn't... hey, I get to miss some work come September, right? :)

Tuesday is the day

So, as usually happens, things have a way of working out. I spent forever worrying about my weekend appointment because of camping, but it all went okay and we made it on time. I have one 18mm follicle on my left. (YES! MY LEFT!!!) I also have 2 smaller follicles... one of the left and one on the right. They're triggering me tonight (or, well, the hubby is technically) and the IUI is scheduled for 9:30am on Tuesday morning. Sooo, although I've been worrying for MONTHS about the possible problems with timing of this cycle, it's all working out. The best part? The IUI is the 5th, so then the 2ww will go until at least the 19th. I don't get back from Virginia until the 16th. I'll be too busy with vacation to worry about the results. Or at least I hope so. :)

Soooo Tuesday then waiting. :) I'm excited and nervous at the same time. As usual...

Three Days

So... today wasn't quite as productive as I had hoped it would be. Blood was easy as wanted... one poke and that's it.

The u/s wasn't quite what I had wanted though (though I know I had high expectations :)). I had the u/s tech that I don't like so much (or at least not as much as the other one I usually get). Every time I go this u/s tech asks "Have you ever been here?" Uhhh... yes, I have. The other u/s tech remembers me and jokes about how many times I've been there to be prodded by her.

Anyways, she didn't tell me the lining measurement (that's another reason I like the other u/s tech... she narrates the whole time), but when I got my call back today they said that everything looked "perfect" so I'm assuming the lining was okay. I can't quite remember the numbers anymore. I think on my right I had 1 follicle that was 12mm. And on my left I think I had two... one at 11mm and the other at 13.5mm. The 13.5mm might have been on my right... I can't remember. So, although I was hoping they'd be at like 20mm today, I guess I am happy with the numbers. I can't get too hopeful about the left side follicles, though, because my left side NEVER PRODUCES ANYTHING. Things always start, but they get too lazy to finish growing or something. :)

Our next day is Sunday at 8:45am. So, it is official, I have to tell my family. I'm going to have to leave camping at like 7:00am on Sunday AM. I am NOT looking forward to going for an u/s after being in the woods for two days, either. Grossss.

I went to school today from 8am to 3pm. I got a bit done, but there is still a lot to do. I'll go in next week probably. It's SO nice to have the whole school to myself. I've done so much laminating that it's ridiculous. I just wish the printer didn't jam after every paper. I did get a bunch of early-in-the-year work copied, so I'm ready. :) Bring on the kids.

And after leaving school I walked/ran/jogged around the pond. It took me just over a half hour... it was hot! I need to improve my running abilities big time! But it felt good to be out doing something! :)

Hoping as always

I'm just hoping that tomorrow's u/s proves eventful. I want 2 fabulous follicles. Yes, two. (I want twins badly) The perfect size with the perfect lining. I want an easy blood test... 1 painless prick that shows I'm ready to trigger. I want a call tomorrow afternoon saying "Ovidrel it up!" I want the IUI to be Saturday afternoon. I want it to go off without a hitch. I want the beta in 2 weeks to be positive. I want this to be over. (Though I know it will never really be "over")

I want a lot of things...

But for now I'll settle for some progress tomorrow AM.

Fingers crossed and wishing on stars and eyelashes. :)

Cycle 4 Begins

Technically I guess it began 3 days ago, but oh well. :)

Blood and u/s were fine. I have 11 follicles on both my left and my right sides. So I take 150mg of Clomid for the next five nights. Then my first day of monitoring is July 31st in the AM (Thursday). SO I'm thinking I will end up letting my parents know what is going on this weekend so when we sneak away over the weekend (which I'm sure we'll have to) they won't be offended.

:)

Time Flies!

I've been out of school for 1 month-- since June 19th. It's already been a month. I always find that, at the beginning of the summer, you always have huge intentions of doing so much. Plans to go visit friends you don't get to see much and plans of getting big projects done. It's crazy, though, how fast the summer weekends fill up. We haven't had a weekend without plans for months now... and it looks like August 22-24 will be out next free weekend. Craziness. Next weekend I'm shopping with my mom, the first weekend in August we're going camping, and then the next weekend we're going to Virginia for the wedding.

As I write this I'm having a heart attack. I just realized that, while I've been freaking out about the trip to Virginia for so long and it conflicting with monitoring and the IUI, it's not the trip I should be worrying about-- it's camping the weekend of August 1-3! We're camping that weekend as part of my dad's Father's Day gift. My first day of monitoring is going to be July 31st. Soo... "best case" IUI would be August 2nd when we're camping. But odds are I'd have to go back for monitoring over the weekend.

Sooo... what do I do? I cannot miss the camping trip... (not to mention the fact that we've already paid way too much for the campsites!). Ahhhhh. I really just do not know what to do... Johnny wants to tell them that we have to go up to his cousin's graduation party for a few hours. But I HATE that idea. I feel like it's basically saying "We promised we'd do this with you, but something else came up so we're going to leave you for a few hours to go see other people." I'd so much rather just tell them what's going on. I'd rather them know that we have a legitimate reason for leaving for a few hours, rather than just thinking that we don't feel like being there. But I have a feeling that Johnny would rather just use the party excuse or just say "Well this month isn't going to work." (His first response when I mentioned this was "Well, there's always next month." which was NOT the kind of reaction that I was looking for!)

So, the eternal question. What do I do? Why can't things just be simple!!!???

6 Things

1. Went to a wedding last night of one of Johnny's friend from HS. Had a great time! So much fun. We want to get married again.

2. Going to wedding #2 tonight. A friend of mine from BU. Excited.

3. Day 1- today. Commence hoping things go well!

4. Got into grad school! UML-Reading and Language. Spring 09. No idea when I'll graduate! :)

5. Got my hair cut really short yesterday. I like it... I think.

6. Ran into one of my kindergartners-soon-to-be-first-graders. She's so cute. I miss school like woah!

That's all!

Hoping again

I told you not all of this would be baby related. But, of course, some of it is.

Ah, so... this month has been a month off for us. We've been waiting for insurance to change and things went well with that. (The best part is that the prescription drug prices are sooo much cheaper on my insurance!) So, now we're in the wait for Day 1 so that I can start the fun of monitoring and clomid and all that. (I haven't missed it for the most part, but I liked feeling like I was doing something.) My last Day 1 was June 16th, sooo assuming my body is going to cooperate (it's always a question as to whether or not it will...) I should be getting my Day 1 soon (or a few days ago, really). So I'm waiting with slight cramps and the usual. Typically in the cycle they would have tested me already, so this evening I let myself take a HPT. Why do I let my hopes get up? It was negative (no surprise, really, but we haven't come up with a "good" way of checking the test without getting too let down...). So, though I'm not really surprised we're left in a bit of a dilemma.

If I don't start soon it looks like it will be cutting it VERY close for the IUI. We leave for Virginia on August 7th. So if you figure 9 days from Day 3 for monitoring (that's usually the day time they bring me in for my initial monitoring) + the 5-7 days it has taken for my eggs and lining to be ready + the 2 days after the ovidrel to actually do the IUI... it's close. At the short end it's 14 days if it all went perfectly (as in, my eggs were ready the day I went in for monitoring) and 21 days if monitoring takes the absolute longest it has taken. Assuming tomorrow was Day 1... the best case would be July 31 and the worst case would be August 7th. And that's just assuming that tomorrow was Day 1. Bleh. Waiting is the hardest part. :)

It's so frustrating that it's so unpredictable. I'm just hoping and praying and crossing fingers that Day 1 is tomorrow so we can get a move on. I'd love to do this first IUI before school starts.

~*~*~*~*~

On a random note, I have plans for my 30th birthday. :) (I just turned 24) Johnny and I love Jack Johnson ridiculous amounts (see a few posts before). Last night we went to see some awesome sand castles at Revere Beach. On the way home we were listening to Jack (as usual) and the song "Angel" came on. One of my favorites, though I had never REALLY paid attention to the lyrics. Johnny was really listening to them. And out of no where he says "I know! He's talking about having kids!" He skipped back to the beginning of the song and we listened...

"She could make angels
I've seen it with my own eyes
You gotta be careful when you've got good love
Cause the angels will just keep on multiplying"

So, with that, Johnny promised that by the time I'm 30 we'll have a few of our planned children and he will be able to sing that song to me at my 30th birthday. So I'm looking forward to it. :) ... Though I really wish it were that easy to make those angels multipy. :)


And a sample of the sand castle. This one wasn't from this year... but still very cool:

Green Light

We got the green light today to proceed with the IUI cycle. Basically we were told that they're not sure why we haven't seen more "action" (mature follicles and whatnot) on the left side, but not to worry about it. I always have a bunch of tiny follicles so it just looks like that side is "lazy".

As far as the next cycle, Anania gave us three choices. (1) We could either continue with a few more cycles of Clomid with TI, (2) we could do Clomid and IUI, or (3) we could move on to an Injectables cycle. As tempting as it is to move on to the injectables, we thought it best to try to IUI. We want this to work and we want it to work fast, but we don't want to go too quickly. So, we upped the Clomid to 150mg and I'll start with my next Day 1. I'm hoping that I DONT get it on my own- that I have to take provera because that will make it easier with the vacation in August. :)

Also, Anania really spelled out that it is all our choice. We can do 1 cycle with IUI or we can do 3 cycles. We can start discussing cycle 5 during cycle 4 if we can to change things up (like moving to injectables). It was just really good to hear... so I don't have to be too upset thinking we're "stuck" in something. But I am happy with our decision. And I've never been so happy to live in MA. SO much is covered in terms of infertility treatments. It really makes things so much easier and less of a stress.

And I noticed on my file today, my primary infertility is marked as PCOS. Apparently that's what she meant during her initial mumble-jumble. :) I've just kind of been saying that I had hormone issues. That's all for now.

Moving On

We picked up the meds today. We're ready for cycle 4... IUI. I'm very excited. A bit nervous, but excited just the same. I just need to get through the next month or so of waiting.

And the update is...

The hubby finally called the HR person to find out the deal. The deal is that they have to cancel either May 1 or July 1. Therefore, IUI this round is out of the question. It's a month off. I could have just done another month of TI, but I was advised not to. My doctor doesn't have much faith that it will work as it hasn't thus far and she thinks I should take the break.

I'll be back at it early July. Hopefully. Doing my math, I think that with my vacay Aug 9-16 I should be just during the waiting period of my next cycle. But then again, I will probably have to take provera again which will mean that I will be pushed back another week or two. Heck, I don't know. I just know that I have to call RSC as soon as I have my new insurance. Switching seemed like a good idea back in the day. The coverage is better and since I work for the state, the cost is less than half of Johnny's. However, now I have to go through the work of getting new referrals and waiting this month. I'm not so sure I like the idea of switching anymore!

And that's my story!

Tell me if this is normal...

My beta is on June 16th. Naturally I wasn't expecting to hear from the good ole docs until after the beta. However, they called me today. I should remind you that I love my RE and all of the nurses that work there. They are the nicest people in the entire world and it's clear that they genuinely want this to work...

Anyways, they called me to update my file. To file the paperwork for next cycle. Yes... I'm 13 days away from the cycle 3 beta and they're planning cycle number 4. A little weird, but maybe it isn't. I'm still new at this. And I appreciate it because it means that they're thinking of me and my "case" even when I'm not there. So, the decision has been passed down from my RE to add IUI to my cycle next time (if there is a next time). (Though, my RE told me back in the day that she didn't think IUI would be helpful with my "case", but I guess times have changed...) So I agreed and that's where we are with that. I also called to schedule an appointment with my RE after this cycle to discuss where we are and where we are going (if that is necessary). So, as always, it feels good to be making progress and head ways. I didn't really do anything, but I kind of feel like I have. :)

I've learned that my contentment with this whole thing varies greatly day to day and week to week. Right now I'm feeling pretty good and confident that we're doing the absolute right thing.

Oh, and my birthday is 12 days after my beta.. so I'm optimistic for the best birthday gift ever.