High Risk Appt

Yesterday we had another high risk at the ATU. One of the doctors (fellows?) I really like was there but so was Dr. R which I wasn't too thrilled about. The fellow did the ultrasound and both babies were ridiculously active as always. It just doesn't get old, does it?? It was just so bizarre to me to think that we were watching them INSIDE at 27w4d. At this time I was watching over Colby on the outside. So weird! We got to watch practice breaths and we never got these last time. :)

But the check also showed a shortened cervix. So, after a discussion with Dr. R (ugh!) I was sent up to traige to be admitted for steroids and to be watched for a few days. As far as I know I'm only going to be here until Monday when I hit 28 weeks. But it's always in the air, right?

Dr. R was driving me crazy as usual-- once again she wanted to know why we were being monitored so closely. Seriously, you can't read a file? Or remember? I've met about 15 doctors/nurses/residents already in my 24 hours and they all knew the situation about my boys before and what's happening now. And I've only met them ONCE.

The other thing that peeved me was she was going on and on about how we're 28 weeks on Monday and then we can stop worrying. So in her opinion it's not a big deal to be monitored closely or do bedrest. And yes, I know that a 28 week baby is MUCH better than 24 or 27 or anywhere in between. But please don't tell me that 28 weeks means that you're out of the woods. I was talking to a neonatologist today, and yes, 28 weeks does decrease the chance of eye disease and brain bleeds, etc. But they're not eliminated and then there is still the huge issue of breathing. Yes, I am SO happy to have gotten here, but it's not good enough. And I feel like Dr. R wants to wipe her hands of me and my babies just because we're 28 weeks. I'm okay with that as long as I get another awesome doctor (Dr. K!) but I just couldn't believe that she was so cavalier about hitting 28 weeks.

But the short of it is that I'm here and missing my Bug like crazy. He came and visited for several hours today (and did amazingly!) It's not the same as cuddling him to sleep though...

27 w 3 d

How far along? 27 weeks 3 days

Total weight gain/loss: +30ish

Maternity clothes? Yes

Stretch marks? Yes- lots and I'm sure there are a bunch I can't even see.

Sleep: Usually about 7 hours

Best moment this week: Being here!

Movement: Lots

Food cravings: Nothing

Gender: 1 of each

Labor Signs: Lots of Braxton Hicks contractions... I'm praying that the check on Friday shows that they haven't done anything...

Belly Button in or out? Out

What I miss: Not being in intense pain 24/7

What I am looking forward to: Watching the weeks tick away

Weekly Wisdom:

Milestones: Making it past 27w1d and 27w3d. We are further along than we were when we had the babes and when we lost Connor.

Colby and Babies

Colby

I don't think I talk about how much I love this little guy. Every day he continues to melt my heart. The past two weeks off have been exhausting (he's a busy guy!) but absolutely amazing. I have loved being with him nonstop.

I am awful at posting pictures and info about Colby on here because I also have 2 family blogs that I do that on... so please visit www.thejamersontwins.blogspot.com (updated belly pics, info about Colby, Colby's words, etc.) or www.365daysofcolby.blogspot.com (daily pictures of Colby since his 1st birthday) to see more of the cutie!

Talking

He is so verbal. I've been trying to track his words on our family blog, but it's so difficult because every day he's adding a list of words. He repeats everything and he also consistently uses well over 100 words correctly. He's been stringing 2 and 3 word sentences together lately. He's learning to say "Bove oo" with some prompting (Love you) but right now my favorites are "Dank oo Mama" and "Welcome Mama". The way he says it- unprompted- just melts my heart.

Cuddle Bug

He's a cuddle monster still. He loves to give "Monkey Hugs" (as I call them) when he wraps his arms and legs around you and just squeezes. I live for those. He'll give kisses and hugs all the time now. Mwah! We cuddle every night with a blanket and a stack of books before bed. It's just such a peaceful time of day that I love. I still rock and cuddle him to sleep. It's definitely more work than having him go to sleep on his own, but I love knowing that he feels so safe and secure and I'm acutely aware of the fact that we'll never get this time back, so I'm okay with it.

Sleep

Speaking of night time... we're in a bit of a co-sleeping mode right now. I've always liked the idea of co-sleeping, but with him being such a preemie and me being deathly afraid of SIDS I wouldn't try it early on. He slept in a pack 'n play next to our bed until he was about 7 months old and then we moved him to his crib. He still woke up a lot and I'd rock him and give him a bottle and put him back down as many times as necessary throughout the night... sometimes once, sometimes 4 or 5 times. Then I headed back to work around 9 months and around 10 months it was too much. I was too tired, so I started bringing him into bed with us after he woke up. It was still exhausting because I still rocked him asleep before hopping into bed, but it was better. Then throughout the summer he slept pretty well in his crib all night by himself. If he woke up, I'd go in, pick him up and get him back to sleep in his crib. He was only waking up 1-2 times so it wasn't too bad and I was keeping my sanity.

Then in January I had the stitch put in and my activity was limited a bit. It got to the point where I couldn't physically handle picking Colby up and bending in his crib, so I started bringing him to bed with us again. He'd cuddle up to be every night and sleep so peacefully. I love it. He starts every night in his crib (so I can get a few hours of work done after he's asleep) and then he ends up in our bed whenever he wakes up. I've been asked if I'm worried I'm setting him up for bad sleep habits in the future, but I'm really not worried. But I'll leave that at that. :)

Daycare

So, we had the daycare issues a few weeks ago. We haven't heard from K since about the money, so I think it has pretty much blown over. I noticed a few days ago, though, that the "Daycare Craziness" post had 3 new comments. They were all from within 3 or so hours on March 28th and from anonymous. If you didn't see them, the gist of them was that I was a liar, that K (daycare lady) could press charges against me for writing about the incident, that a corporate daycare would be absolutely awful for my child, and that daycare lady was providing the best care possible so I should get my facts straight.

At first I was a bit upset by the comments because they were a bit unkind (to say the least)... but after thinking about them I'm really thinking that they were either all written by K or K & a few friends she might have complained to. (I also only now realized that you can find this place by simply searching my emal, which she has) It seemed too odd that they'd be so close together, all on the same day, a week after the incident occurred. I was going to post a response to the comments, but I decided it wasn't worth it. I know that we took Colby out of K's care because she took him away at pick up without contacting anyone (who does that????) and in a non-rear facing carseat because she was in a "rush" (he's too small still for the forward facing & please do not put my child's safety in jeopardy because you're late).

I wonder sometimes if I'm too cautious and overprotective because of what we went through with Colby and Connor. Maybe I am... but I feel like that's my right- especially when I'm paying someone to care for my child. But the whole incident has helped to foster a list of questions to look into for the next place. We have found a few candidates... none of which take daily trips to the park or Toys R Us or a son's doctors appointment. :)

Babies 3 & 4

Nearing 27w1d

I'm in such a weird place with this pregnancy. It has gone SO fast I can't believe it. Today is 26 weeks 5 days. Since I got to 23w2d- the point I went on bedrest last time- I've kind of felt invincible. Like both babies are definitely coming home. And I'm going to go full term. But at the same time I have been waiting for the other shoe to drop. So, as I approach 27w1d on Tuesday (aka D-Day for the boys) I feel like that's the biggest milestone of all. It's almost like if I get past that point I'm sure that both babies will live.

Contractions

But I've also been having increasing Braxton Hicks contractions. I didn't have any with the boys that I knew of but they're so evident now. If I do anything more than lay on the couch like a potato I seem to have them. It's so frustrating. I go back to Dr. K on Monday so we'll talk about that. (I'm already drinking gallons of water!)

Getting Ready

We haven't done anything to get ready for the babies, but we have to get a move on. I've been waiting for the miraculous "It's okay" day, but I know that won't ever really come until they're born and home with us. But we need to do some things. We're getting mini-cribs for the twins this time- they'll convert into twin beds when they are bigger. The babies will be in our room for now and when they're sleeping a little better we'll move rooms and they'll share with Colby. It's a cramped space we share, but we have to stay here for 3 years because we got the First Time Home Buyers Tax Credit last year and we don't really feel like paying it back. :)

And since we don't know if we're having boys/girls/one of each, I feel like I can't do too much more. :) I want to pull down the bins we have of toys and blankets to get those ready, but I'm not sure I want to pull down the bins of newborn clothing just yet. But I probably should because odds are there is a boy in there, right?

I know there is more I wanted to write about... but I can't think of it.

Pop by Erin's to send positive thoughts for her upcoming IVF cycle. She's been though a lot the past few months... and Trevor NEEDS to be a big brother.

26w3d

How far along? 26 weeks 2 days 26w3d

Total weight gain/loss: Today I weighed in at less than 20 lbs gained. I may have lost some being on bedrest the past 3 weeks. I'm not sure the total, but it's looking to be around 30(!!!!). I almost died when I looked at the scale yesterday.

Maternity clothes? Maternity pjs The ones that fit

Stretch marks? Yes... and my parents bought me coco butter to slather all over them. :) Yes. And my nice little 3 or 4 on the sides of my belly button have become a lot more and they have started to migrate south as well.

Sleep: Some nights are better than others! It's been really difficult to sleep lately... waking up constantly for no reason and just generally being uncomfy.

Best moment this week: Last week was a very uneventful week which was nice. I hate to say the same thing all the time, but just being here.

Movement: They love to move. They spend their time trying to kick off the monitor every day. That's when they go crazzzy. Lots!

Food cravings: Coffee ice cream. Yum! Nothing really... I'm not usually too hungry.

Gender: 2 boys Boy & Girl?

Labor Signs: Occasional contractions that I have been told are fine. They still make me nervous though. I've been having a lot of Braxton Hicks contractions which are making me a little nervous... but they're usually when I've been standing for awhile or doing some other type of activity besides being a lump on the couch... hmm, or right now for no reason... so I'm trying not to worry to much.

Belly Button in or out? In-between-ie Out

What I miss: Being self-sufficient. Nothing

What I am looking forward to: Another great ultrasound and more uneventful weeks. July 25 makes 28 weeks! Getting past Tuesday (27w1d) and Thursday (27w3d) next week. Then it's on to 28 weeks.

Weekly Wisdom: Enjoy every minute. Take it easy?

Milestones: 26 weeks... under 100 days. Under 100 days again! :)

No hospital!

Just quick...

Friday's appointment was uneventful. I remained stable, so I am not in the hospital! I am staying out of work though to continue to remain stable. I'm supposed to be taking it easy, off my feet a lot, not picking up Colby (which is pretty impossible when I'm home with him all day), etc. I just got Sick Bank figured out, so I can remain out of work while still getting paid & maintaining my insurance which is fabulous. I go back to the ATU in two weeks! When I go back I will be 3 days further along than I was when the boys were born. I am so anxious to get to that point.

Yesterday we found out that our friends B&R are pregnant again, too! These are the same friends whose baby girl was due exactly 1 month after the boys in 09. (Course she's now 4 months younger than Colby instead of 1 month!) They're 6 weeks along, so things are still super early, but I'm excited for them. :)

Daycare craziness and 25w3d

Tomorrow is back to the ATU for another length check. I am terrified. This week I had the whole week off so...

Monday Colby went to my in-laws because I had an OB appt. (I passed the sugar test!!!)

Then Tuesday he went to Day Care because I had meetings at school I had to deal with to get my time off approved. THEN there was a HUGE fiasco with daycare. Basically... early in the year I had only filled out paper work to approve Colby to go to the park and the pond on "field trips" with day care. And if he goes, he MUST be in a rear-facing carseat. (We are huge believers in extended rear-facing) Technically we're supposed to be informed BEFORE he goes to either of these two places (as in, she should tell us in the AM) She never has... but we've kind of gone with it because they're both super close to her house, etc. etc. Our hours that we pay for at daycare are 7:30-4pm. I usually get Colby between 3:15-3:30 depending on how quickly I can get out of work though.

SO Tuesday I dropped Colby off as usual-- I didn't mention that I was out of work because she's a HUGE gossiper and I didn't want to deal with that. Then Johnny went to pick Colby up after work. He showed up around 3:45 and NO ONE was home. So he called Daycare lady in a panic thinking something had happened with Colby or something-- she says "Oh! I left Colby's diaper bag in the driveway with a note-- my son had a doctors appt and we couldn't wait any longer." So she tells Johnny to come meet up with her to get Colby. He's flipping out (and calls me) and I started flipping out because she DIDN"T call us to say she wouldn't be home, she was NOT going to an approved place, and she shouldn't be scheduling appointments when she's getting paid to watch Colby. So Johnny goes to get him and notices that he's not in a rear-facing seat. At that point Johnny basically called it quits and said "We're done", paid for the day and was leaving it at that. She was upset because we weren't giving 2 weeks notice.

So the next day Johnny gets a call from her. He says he can't talk while at work, so she has to email him. Her email says that our hours are only until 3:30, I should have told her that I wasn't picking Colby up and it was my fault she had to take him, and that he was in the wrong car seat because she was in a rush (though he "usually sits in a rear-facing one as per the parents request"). Oh, and that she was taking legal action to get the rest of the 2 weeks pay. So, basically we have in writing that she DIDN'T call and took him without our permission to an "un-okayed" place. That she specifically did not have him in the correct carseat because she was rushing. Two HUGE safety things that could easily win us an "legal action" she decides to take. And I have the paper work that proves that the hours are until 4pm.

So basically, that has been interesting. I don't want to have to deal with legal-things right now so I'm hoping it blows over but I'm glad Colby's out of there. We were already looking into getting him out because there's jsut a lot of little things about her that was bothering us. The TV was on 24/7, she feeds the kids hotdogs and grapes (two items that are huge choking hazards and, according to the food program, absolutely NOT allowed for kids under 3... I totally feed Colby grapes, but I don't have 4 other kids I'm watching), the toys were always dusty and grimy but she would always say things like "Silly! I just took that out of the dishwasher!" whenever Colby put something in his mouth when I was there... and she was a huge gossiper so everyone and their mother knew I was pregnant with twins (the town I work in-- gossip spreads like wildfire) and "How could she possibly handle it?!" (I knew all about which kids needed teeth pulled and which ones slept with their parents and who had a miscarriage and so on.)

So, with all of that-- Colby has been home with me the past two days. I had actually planned on keeping him home with me so I could have extra time, but day care issue was the icing to solidify it. :)

We had a great past 2 days. Yesterday we just vegged and cuddled and loved every second. Today my mom came up so I got extra sleep and got fed like a queen. :) Tomorrow I'm keeping Colby for most of the day and then he's going to the in-laws while we head to the ATU.

I am scared that things will have changed and will send me in to the hospital. Tonight I let Johnny do the whole bedtime routine and I'm so sad right now to have missed it. I love my cuddle time with the Bug... and I know that one-on-one time is jeopardized as it is... I'm just afraid to know just how jeopardized it might be.

25 Weeks 2 Days - March 23

How far along? 25 weeks 2 days 25 Weeks 3 Days

Total weight gain/loss: No idea... I haven't been weighed in forever. Up by about 20

Maternity clothes? Maternity pjs Only super comfy pants. Jeans and work pants are too tight. Shirts are getting too short...

Stretch marks? Holy cow they are here. They are big and pink and they hurt. Is that normal? The combo of the ultrasound goo (used 4-5 times a day), rubbing it off, and my sensitive skin is painful. They're only on the underside though... I can only see them when Johnny takes a picture of me I still think I only have the 4 or so on the left and 2-3 on the right of my belly button. I don't think there is anything new on the bottom-- I'm carrying so differently this time!

Sleep: Not enough, but I'm hanging in there. Being off work and having help with Colby some days I've gotten a bit more sleep. My mom came up today and I slept until almost 10! Then she pampered me all day!

Best moment this week: Having things calm down after the scare last week. I passed the sugar test the first try this time!! (Last time, I failed number 1 and passed number 2)

Movement: They love to kick! Usually they're really active every other day and 7pm is their play time. Super active. I'm feeling lots more kicks and turns from Baby B now which is great. I'm feeling them both more mid and upper now- before most of it was down near my incision scar.

Food cravings: Anything... I'm always hungry! :) I really wanted homefries, so my mom made those. In general, I'm not very hungry lately.

Gender: 2 boys 1 Boy and 1 Girl?

Labor Signs: Well, aside from the short, semi-open cervix, I'm doing okay. Contractions have pretty much ceased and I'm feeling good. Nothing that I know of...

Belly Button in or out? In-between-ie Out

What I miss: Doing things for myself. Walking around. Nothing nothing nothing

What I am looking forward to: Meeting the babies in a LONG time. :) Lots more time with these babies INSIDE

Weekly Wisdom: I don't really have anything. Do what you're told, I guess. :)

Milestones: 25 weeks. We're steroid-ed up. They're still doing great... it's all pretty important, right? We're here. The sugar test. :) That's all I have!

Here we go again?

This week's high risk appointment yielded a 1.5-2cm change in my cervix depending on which measurement you go by. So I'm still around 2-2.5cm which is considered "good". But a 1.5-2cm change in 7 days is not considered good. So, I'm off work this week-- not full bedrest, but I'm to take it easy.

I go back on Friday of next week to see if there is a change. If I remain stable, we will reconsider and see what I can do. If there is a change, then I am to welcome the hospital with open arms and allow them to shoot me up with steroids.

I'm not sure what to think-- but I also DO NOT want the hospital because I need more Colby-alone-time.